WONK: the Chaos Reigns Players

[Diamondback]

Gen. Eisenhower: Well, don't know what kind of mood he'll be in, but I'll give you a line to his headquarters and you can ask him. Whatever crazy stunt you're planning, he'll probably love it...
Thank you, Sir. Please give General Smith my apologies for the unpleasantness earlier. Now, to put the move on Old Blood & Guts, and hope that my "double agent" in the Wehrmacht can help... *DB/B and Ike exchange salutes, then part ways*

 

[KilroyCD]

1st man: Vhat am I listening to here, the Bickersons? Are you two married or zomezhingk?

 

[retrogirl1941]

Something.......and he.......oh never mind! I will stop talking from this point on!(makes zipping lips hand movement and crosses arms)

Samantha

 

[KilroyCD]

Samantha! Will you uncross your arms! We're still handcuffed, and you've darned near ripped my arm off at the shoulder!

 

[retrogirl1941]

(uncrosses arms , talking to kilroy) Are you happy now? I;m here b/c of you its all your fault!

Samantha

 

[KilroyCD]

1st man: You know, viss people like you two on zair side, ve vill definitely vin ze var!

 

[retrogirl1941]

(talking to german) Me or kilroy? Surely you can have him! Nobody will miss him!

Samantha

 

[carter]

Carter staggers into WONK HQ wearing a great kilt and tam o'shanter. He is scratched heavily about the face and obviously intoxicated.

Well Rolo my boy, lay down that Thompson. It's a good days work y'v done. Now that Zim and Bob have gone their way, we're a sad lot. Where is Desmond and why does he insist on wearing a tutu?

Hello.....Hello...hmph no one about as usual.

Grog?

 

[KilroyCD]

Lo Phat: Ah, Mis-tuh Carter suh! Good to see you back again. I no everybody gone, but I no know where they are.

 

[KilroyCD]

Samantha, will you please keep your cake-hole shut! We're in this up to our ears, and there's no reason to keep making things more difficult.
1st man: Quiet, you fool! Did I giff you permission to speak? *Turns to Samantha* You may continue to speak, miss...

 

[carter]

Carter and Rolo settle in with pints of grog and discuss their latest adventure

Rolo: You know Colonel, this hunting zebra in Scots garb has been most enlightening.

Carter: Right you are Rolo but I don't believe the Thompson has been entirely sporting.

Rolo: Perhaps I did lose my head a bit. It was Desmond in his blasted tutu. A real bust-up that is. Even that guide...Jerry, seemed a bit taken aback.

Carter: Indeed. Do do suppose that caused Zim and Bob to go the other way? Hmmmm.......

 

[KilroyCD]

Lo Phat: Am I the only one here who got the puns in that conversation?

 

[carter]

Ah, 'lo Phat! I no know where everyone go either. Perhaps you could bring Rolo and me some kippers and tea? Any word from DB or Kilroy? It seems forever since we embarked to the dark continent. Are they about? Any news of Sam?

'Pon my life, Phat, that may well be the case.

 

[retrogirl1941]

Samantha, will you please keep your cake-hole shut! We're in this up to our ears, and there's no reason to keep making things more difficult.
1st man: Quiet, you fool! Did I giff you permission to speak? *Turns to Samantha* You may continue to speak, miss...

I have no more to say to either of you! I wish to be released. I can't be in the room with this carzy pilot! When my father heres how you have been talking to me kilroy he will have a few words for you! ooppps.......(looking over at german listening intently)

Samantha

 

[KilroyCD]

Lo Phat: I last saw Kil-loy and he was recoveling from big hangover. He went off after Samanfa - she go to train station that was bombed other night, the night Kil-loy got bombed. They have big row other day. DB, he go to Rondon, to headqualters.

 

[Diamondback]

Patton's Office
(camera: We see the legend in apparent despair, still trying to overcome the shock of having his command yanked from under him.)
*knock on the door*
Gen. Patton: Enter.
*we see DB/B enter the room, saluting*
Sir, the name's Bourne, OSS Division Six. I have a "special project" over on the Continent, and while it's no substitute for commanding an army, it might give you a chance to kill some more Sauerkrauts, and possibly screw with old Adolf's head a little... I already have an operative on the ground, with the objective penetr--
Gen. Patton: You that crazy son of a CENSORED that broke up an air-raid with only a pair of .45s? Where'd you get that crazy idea?
Yes, sir, I am. Actually, I got the idea from you--asked myself "What Would Patton Do?" and concluded the answer was to conclusively demonstrate beyond all argument that I had absolutely no fear of the enemy. Do you remember saying something about part of winning in battle requiring one to accept that they're already gone, a "dead man walking" so to speak?
Gen. Patton: Yes, why?
Well, I am--clinically, flat-lined, no pulse or breathing for an hour with the papers to prove it, don't ask me how or why I'm back, all I know is that I am, I've had a taste of Hell and I have no intention to go back.
Gen. Patton, admiringly: Sounds to me like God had other plans for you, you psycho ba***rd...
Actually, sir, I'm a sociopath, not a psycho. But it helps keep Jerry off-balance to think he's facing a loon, right?
Gen. Patton, laughing: That it does, son, that it does. What've you got in that deranged mind of yours?
Well, General, here's the plan...

Five minutes later
Gen. Patton: CENSORED, I see how you got your eagles before thirty. It's brilliant! I'm in.
All right, sir, we'll take a plane across the Channel tonight... I have a contact who'll mark our drop-zone in Calais, but you'll have to restrain yourself when you meet him.
Gen. Patton: Why's that?
Because the Desert Fox himself owes me a favor, and he has a vested interest in us winning...

 

[retrogirl1941]

Still not talking........(tapping foot)

Samantha

 

[KilroyCD]

1st man: Oh, und who iss you fahzer? No, vait, I know. I know more zhen you zhink! You are ze daughter of Carter. Now you know vhy ve haff you here. Ziss, pilot, he just got in ze vay. Ve had no interest in him. If he didn't know so much now, ve vould haff let him go. But now, he's in it viss you, vezzer you like it or not.

 

[retrogirl1941]

He is not *with* me! We can't even get along with each other for more than.... well.... I don't know. Can't you let him go, as you said he is no use to you. He means nothing to my father or anybody else, so let him go please?


Samantha

 

[carter]

Lo Phat: I last saw Kil-loy and he was recoveling from big hangover. He went off after Samanfa - she go to train station that was bombed other night, the night Kil-loy got bombed. They have big row other day. DB, he go to Rondon, to headqualters.

So, Kiloy is rowing to London (Rolo, the man is daft as a duck) and DB has accompanied Sam to Allied HQ. hmmm...must be SHEAF. The next thing I know, he and Sam will be sharing toddies with Ike.

Rolo: Perhaps we should fortify ourselves and motor off to SHEAF HQ ourselves Sir. I'll recruit Mack and Tosh for the team if you approve.

Carter: Right you are Rolo. Bring the Thompson. Let's disguise Mack and Tosh as Bedouins. We'll intimate that they were with the SAS in North Africa.

Rolo: I'm on it Sir. (He exits the room.)

Carter: Sam, you little minx, I love you like a daughter but what are you and DB about. Why is Kilroy rowing to London? Hmmm....