WONK: the Chaos Reigns Players

[Diamondback]

(bored, sarcastic voice) Oh wow, a suicide bomber. Real original. I wasn't impressed when I faced one down in high-school and I'm not impressed now... Y'see, Siggy, I've already died and gone to Hell once, and I have no fear of doing it again. (crazy "Martin Riggs" voice and facial expression) So, do you really wanna blow it all up? Really? *Arnold and Samantha load into KARR, which then peels out and burns rubber leaving*

KARR, radio into DB's earpiece: Don't worry, I've got it...

So, you really wanna go to Hell? Let's do it together... *grabs detonator out of Siegfried's hand and pushes the button...

 

[KilroyCD]

Announcer: The Chaos Reigns Players will hopefully return next week with another mind-numbing misadventure:

Will Samantha ever get to see the real Kilroy again?
Will the fake Kilroy survive his encounter with the buisiness end of a Spitfire?
Will Kilroy be able to make an insurance claim on his car?
Will Arnold and Samantha get far enough away before the building detonates?
Will Diamondback go up in smoke or save the day?
Will Carter survive his encounter with The Faun?
Will Kilroy and Carter ever meet again?
Will Arnold have any lines to say next week?
Will Nurse Martha return?
Will we have cameos from Dostacos, zaika, MNC and Dash?
Will Phoebe's husband find her in bed with Jeeves? (Oops, wrong storyline again)
Will the announcer get his stories straight? (Probably not)

TUNE IN NEXT TIME To WONK for the answers to these and many other nonsensical questions, when the Chaos Reigns Players continue the Saga of The Rescue of the Two Cabooses Plus Multiple Milos or How I Saved the Train With a Plane But Lost My Mind To Porridge.

(We are not responsible for the inconclusivity of the aforementioned conclusion.)

Inspired by Marc Chevalier from a post by Carter derived from a photo posted by Salv.

This Evening's Cast - Diamondback, Samantha, KilroyCD, "Zeigfried", "2nd Kilroy", "Arnold", "Clive", "Roy" and "KARR".

This Threadcast was posted live at the Studios of the Fedora Lounge.

Our Thanks to MK and the Bartenders for their Understanding and Forebearance.

 

[Diamondback]

Announcer: The Chaos Reigns Players return with another mind-numbing misadventure, live from the studios of the Fedora Lounge:

When we last saw our intrepid band of heroes (and a few antiheroes, not to mention some who're just plain rotten but we're glad they're on our side), Arnold and Samantha were speeding away from the explosive-laden Whip & Garter inside KARR, Kilroy was somewhere overhead in his Spitfire after having to drop an airstrike on his own car, Carter had been abducted to points unknown and Bourne had just punched the detonator to 90 tons of high-explosive in a Mexican standoff with Siegfried. We still don't know where Blackout, PFY, Zaika, Dostacos, MNC and Dash are...

 

[retrogirl1941]

Looking at Arnold, " How far do we need to get from the whip and garter? Did Zeigfried really put explosives under the W&G?"


Samantha

 

[Diamondback]

*we see a panel of yellow lights in front of the steering wheel as KARR speaks*
KARR: Yes, he did. We need to stay within one mile at most so I can maintain jamming coverage on that radio detonator. Besides, I'm not leaving Diamondback--he may still need my weapons... and I'm uploading targeting data to Blackout, if the squishies can finish reassembling him in time.

 

[KilroyCD]

KA-BOOM!

 

[retrogirl1941]

Turing around in the seat to try and look back at the W&G. "DB will be okay. He always has some gadget this or that to protect him, right?"thinking to self, I wonder what happenned to kilroy.

Samantha

 

[KilroyCD]

Kilroy: *Circling the huge plume of smoke in his Spitfire* Holy smokes! That building...it's gone! My Aston Martin, it's gone too! I just hope Sam got out okay if she was in there, as well as DB and the others.

 

[Diamondback]

Meanwhile, back at what's left of the Whip & Garter...
*Clive crawls up from the basement, blackened and clothes charred, with the fuse side of a radio detonator in hands*
Clive: Whew! Good thing I was able to cut most of the fuses...*drops to the floor, as a nearby pile of debris starts to move; Bourne painfully struggling free*

Nice save... *collapsing*

Elsewhere...
KARR: We have to go back--he's alive, but barely.

 

[retrogirl1941]

"How could he be alive after that blast? He must be someone who can defy dealth or something like it...."

Samantha

 

[KilroyCD]

*R/T crackles*
Pinetree: Horseback Leader, this is Pinetree. A large explosion has been reported about 15 miles east of the aerodrome. Are you anywhere near that? Over.

Kilroy: Pinetree, this is Horseback Leader. Affirmative. Over.

Pinetree: Horseback Leader, any idea what it was? Calls have been coming in saying a lone German aeroplane dropped a "Herman". Over.


Kilroy: Pinetree, negative on that German aeroplane. The aeroplane was mine, and these people need to get their aircraft recognition straight. Over.


Pinetree: Horseback Leader, let me get this straight. Did you bomb a building? Over.

Kilroy: Pinetree, negative. I was in the area when the building blew up. No idea what caused it. Over.

Pinetree: Roger, Horseback Leader. I would assume explosives. Carry on. Over.

Kilroy: Horseback Leader, out. *Thinking to self* What a bloody pillock Pinetree is today...

 

[retrogirl1941]

Looking up at sky, "Is that kilroy I see? arnold look over there. Isn't that kilroy?"

Samantha

 

[Diamondback]

KARR: Telemetry's weak, he's fading, just barely this side of the grave--don't expect this to work but we have to try. *skids to a stop near Whip & Garter wreckage and pops doors open* Interesting, we appear to have another survivor... with the other half of a radio detonator system clutched to his chest.

Arnold: It appears to be Clife. Vhat vas he trying to do? *Arnold dismounts, runs over to Bourne and begins assessing damage*

 

[retrogirl1941]

To KARR:"Should we call an ambulence to get DB to a hospital? He does'nt look good at all!"(wait why am I talking to a car?!)

Samantha

 

[Diamondback]

Arnold: Help me load him into ze passenger-side seat. *KARR reclines right-front seat, almost flat* He must be kept avay from your doctors, he requires specialized care. Ve must get him back to Hangar 18 schnell.

KARR: You're not talking to a car, you're talking to the artificial-intelligence controlling it. The biggest difference between me and Arnold is that he's made to look human and I'm not... DB, you can do this... stick it out and we'll have you under the finest care available soon. *KARR, muttering to himself, Samantha can barely hear it* Why you didn't take advantage of the option to trade most of your organics for mechanical components and their superior durability's beyond me...

 

[retrogirl1941]

"Why does he require special care? Is he some alein they talk about in those risque' magazines?"

Samantha

 

[KilroyCD]

*Still flying around is his Spitfire* Let me get a closer look.
Pinetree, this is Horseback Leader. Over.

Pinetree: Horseback leader, this is Pinetree. Yes, Kilroy? Over.

Kilroy: Pinetree, I'm going to go in for a closer look. Am I cleared to 500 feet? Over.

Pinetree: Horseback Leader, Roger, cleared to 500 feet. Kindly let us know what is going on there, would you old boy? Thanks kindly, old chap. Over.

Kilroy: Pinetree, affirmative. Descending to 500 feet. Pinetree, I can see what may be survivors. Several people, and it looks like DB's KARR is there. Over.

Pinetree: Horseback Leader, very good old boy! Over.

Kilroy: Pinetree, Horseback Leader is declaring bingo fuel state. I'm returning to the aerodrome. Out. *Thinking to self* If he calls me "Old boy" one more time...:rage:

 

[Diamondback]

Ugggh... *groans* Sam... what are you doing here? *passes out again*

Arnold, carefully lifting Bourne: No, nothing extraterrestrial--just that too many hard temporal hyperjumps have all but ripped him apart inside. Ze boss may look thirty, but inside he's closer to 120... Und I am not certain ve fully understand everything he has been through. Besides, ve cannot take any chances of his implants being discofered by Uptimers who might ahsk too many qvestions.

KARR: Do you mind? Would you like us doing this if it was your parent clinging to life by the skin of their teeth? May we please focus on the problem at hand? Thank you...

 

[retrogirl1941]

"DB! Hold on please!"(holding Db's hand.)" Well sorry I even opened my mouth! (mumbles under my breath) Stupid tallking car! Cars should not talk back!"

Samantha

 

[Diamondback]

Arnold, struggling with Clive now that DB's in and belted: Zam, get in--I vill load Clife here into ze Aston Martin und vatch him... *passes one huge syringe to Sam* Zis is full of his recheneratiff nanites--inject it into his heart und zey vill help stabilize him.

KARR, quietly: So you're some kind of mechanical version of a racist? You're okay with a plane having mind and voice of its own, and a machine that is a perfect double for human, but the same intelligence controlling an automobile is unacceptable? Bear in mind, if I had never been built there would be no Blackout providing your air-support... And don't worry about Kilroy, he's been flying top-cover. Just called out "Bingo fuel" and headed back to base. Speaking of "back to base", would you please take the wheel? I'll talk you through what you need to know. *opening driver's door* Radio to Kilroy: Horseback Lead, KARR, copy your bingo, will return to garage shortly as well. Is the female always this incorrigible, old boy?