WONK: the Chaos Reigns Players

[carter]

I don't know sir, I can't make out who that is outside the window. I wonder if it's one of DB's operatives? As to Sam, I'm not sure if it's Bannock or Cradock. But if it's Cradock, she had better get her little Fanny out of there.*

* With apologies to British TV cook Fanny Cradock....

Well, if it's Cradock (I always spelt it with double d.) she'll have to get her fanny out of there and over the hill. She must beware for, if she is apprehended, bondage may ensue.

What if it's Bangkok? There may be a monsoon! You know in heavy weather Sam has been known to swoon!
Where in blazes is....

Roland enters followed by Rozen and Guil. He has a duck beneath his arm and his Thompson slung over the opposite shoulder.

Evening, Sir, I thought to bring a bird as we're running a bit late. It's been a bit of the old chip and dale as we battled through the swale. We're right glad to see you, Sir!

Salutes

 

[KilroyCD]

Guard: Herr Zeigfried! Ze girl iss loose! Vasn't she tied up before?
Zeigrfried: Jah, she vas. *Turns to Samantha* Zo, you zhink your fery schmart by gettink yourself untied. Vell, maybe I made it easy for you to get out. You zee, I haff somezing to tell you. Your fahzer, or who you zhink iss your fahzer isn't who you zhink he iss...

 

[KilroyCD]

Roland enters followed by Rozen and Guil. He has a duck beneath his arm and his Thompson slung over the opposite shoulder.

*Impersonating WC Fields* Ah yes. Bring me a very sharp duck!

 

[retrogirl1941]

What is it your feel the need to tell me? (as guard ties me to the chair again)

Samantha

 

[carter]

As I am gratified to see you and the lads, Rolo. Now that you've arrived we can offer some of Kilgore's trout and a tankard of stout.

I'll have the orderly pluck and cook your goose. We can have it whilst enroute.

KIlroy, have you any Cold Duck in the Officer's Mess? Please instruct Tan Sa Newt to pack some for our excursion.

Now, where is Sam and what has she gotten herself into? hmmm...must locate DB and the phantom gunship. I wonder if...

Roland - sotto voce: It's a duck sir.....

 

[KilroyCD]

Zeigfried: Vell Zamantha, you fahzer, Carter... now how can I tell you ziss vizout gettink you all upzet? He izz not your real fahzer!

 

[KilroyCD]

No Carter, sir. We have no Cold Duck in the Mess. I could have Lo Phat check for any Spumanti, if you'd like. It just might go well with duck.

 

[retrogirl1941]

No, No no, you don't know what your talking about! How could he not be my father? Him and my mother met at the right time!

Samantha

 

[KilroyCD]

Zeigfried: Zo zhat might be ze case, I happen to know zomezhing zhat hass been kept from you all zees years...

 

[carter]

No Carter, sir. We have no Cold Duck in the Mess. I could have Lo Phat check for any Spumanti, if you'd like. It just might go well with duck.

Too bad. Well, if Lo Phat can locate a bottle or two of Asti we may have a go.

Duck, you say, perhaps it is since you and Rolo seem to agree.

Tan Sa Newt, let's have it plucked and prepared post haste. I say, are you in any way related to Lo Phat? Most curious cast of characters I've seen in weeks.

I say, Kilroy, have you seen DB and the phantom gunship lately?

 

[retrogirl1941]

Nothing you can say will change my mind! What makes you think you can just tell me things and I will belive them? You are the one that keeps kidnapping me to get to my father!Why should I believe you?

Samantha

 

[KilroyCD]

No, actually I haven't sir! Last I heard was that he was speeding toward the Whip and Garter with Arnold in some wierd sort of motorcar. He said he'd handle everything. I'm wondering if he got lost or had a puncture, as it's been quite a while since he last contacted us.
I'm not sure if Tan Sa Newt is related to Lo Phat, but we do have Lo's cousin, Hey Yu here as F/L Pete Moss' batman. If Tan is related to Lo and Hey, then I'd say it really is a small world!

 

[KilroyCD]

Nothing you can say will change my mind! What makes you think you can just tell me things and I will belive them? You are the one that keeps kidnapping me to get to my father!Why should I believe you?

Samantha

Zeigfried: Because, Zamantha, I haff been keeping a zeecret all zhese years. *Takes off hat to reveal his crop of red hair.*

 

[retrogirl1941]

What does your having red hair have to do with me? Wait a minute.......You can't be! No Carter is my father!

Samantha

 

[KilroyCD]

What does your having red hair have to do with me? Wait a minute.......You can't be! No Carter is my father!

Samantha

Zeigfreid: Well, he iss your fahzer, but not your biological fahzer. You zee, mein sweet child, you vere adopted by Carter und his wife vehn my wife died durink childbirth. I could not raise a young kinder on mein own. Zo, I put you up vor adoption. I, Zamantha, am your real fahzer.

 

[retrogirl1941]

I cannot belive such a far fetched story! Why not tell me sooner, instead of kidnapping me to get to my father.....I mean carter?

Samantha

 

[carter]

No, actually I haven't sir! Last I heard was that he was speeding toward the Whip and Garter with Arnold in some wierd sort of motorcar. He said he'd handle everything. I'm wondering if he got lost or had a puncture, as it's been quite a while since he last contacted us.
I'm not sure if Tan Sa Newt is related to Lo Phat, but we do have Lo's cousin, Hey Yu here as F/L Pete Moss' batman. If Tan is related to Lo and Hey, then I'd say it really is a small world!

After all, ...this, Kilroy, why should anyone be surprised? There are more literary allusions than Hitler has necromancers! Why at any moment I expect....

POW! WHOMP* KBLAM! FWOOSH* SLAM! KABOOM!...tinkle....sssssss...

Looking up from the floor, covered in debris, the room in a shambles

WHAT in the name of ST. Christopher was THAT?

Are we under attack? Quick, call out the guard, ring Whitehall, alert the Home Guard, secure the perimeter, all women and children to..

Roland, ducking out from below a table

A moment, Sir. Rozen and Guil, check our perimeter. (Shaking the dust from their fatigues, the two troopers exit the room.)

Roland looks at Carter with a puzzled expression.

Sir, you seem to have cut your leg.

He points to Carter's left leg where a torn fatigue pant reveals a frighteningly bloody leg and a veritible thicket of reddish hair. Carter glances downward, blanches, and falls to the floor.

 

[KilroyCD]

Zeigfried: You zee, Carter recruited you into the SOE. Ve know zhat. You are in great danger. By my kidnappink you, I am tryink to keep you zafe. Ve may be on different sides, but family iss very important to me. I vould like to take you back to zhe Fatherland to keep you zafe. I haff a nice cottage near zhe Swiss border. Nobody vill know tyou are zhere. You can vait out zhe war zhere. Iff things get too hot vor you zhere, you can cross zhe border into Switzerland to ensure your safety.

 

[retrogirl1941]

I will not go! I am going to stay right here! I belong here with carter and Kilroy I can't ever leave him.........I really do love him.

Samantha

 

[KilroyCD]

After all, ...this, Kilroy, why should anyone be surprised? There are more literary allusions than Hitler has necromancers! Why at any moment I expect....

POW! WHOMP* KBLAM! FWOOSH* SLAM! KABOOM!...tinkle....sssssss...

Looking up from the floor, covered in debris, the room in a shambles

WHAT in the name of ST. Christopher was THAT?

Are we under attack? Quick, call out the guard, ring Whitehall, alert the Home Guard, secure the perimeter, all women and children to..

Roland, ducking out from below a table

A moment, Sir. Rozen and Guil, check our perimeter. (Shaking the dust from their fatigues, the two troopers exit the room.

What the CENSORED was that? I didn't hear any sirens!