WONK: the Chaos Reigns Players

[retrogirl1941]

(waks over to DB and gives a big hug) I think you have done enough. Enough for 20 people!(gives a kiss on cheek)

Samantha

 

[KilroyCD]

Samantha, you don't know? The Zebra Team are after two people here, DB and your father. Why do you think we've secreted Carter away in a safe haven? He was too vulnerable. You saw how someone managed to slip him a mickey a while back. I don't even know where he is, and DB, the one person who could save him from a Zebra attack also doesn't know exactly where he is either. We are just on a need-to-know basis, and right now Whitehall doesn't want anyone to know his whereabouts.

 

[retrogirl1941]

Samantha, you don't know? The Zebra Team are after two people here, DB and your father. Why do you think we've secreted Carter away in a safe haven? He was too vulnerable. You saw how someone managed to slip him a mickey a while back. I don't even know where he is, and DB, the one person who could save him from a Zebra attack also doesn't know exactly where he is either. We are just on a need-to-know basis, and right now Whitehall doesn't want anyone to know his whereabouts.

Oh(staggers back to a chair and falls into it) I was not informed of anything. I thought, well goodness, I don't know what I thought!(stares off towards wall in a daze)

Samantha

 

[KilroyCD]

Yes, Sam. I guess Carter didn't want you to know, to worry. Wait...Do you hear a faint whistling? It's getting louder...TAKE COVER! IT'S A BOMB! BOOM!
*The whole building heaves as though the earth moved. Loads of plaster falls from the ceiling, right into the spaghetti, but the building remains standing*
*Brushing the plaster dust off* Holy smokes! That was close! Is anyone hurt? Wait! It sounds like they're coming back for more! TAKE COVER!!!

 

[retrogirl1941]

(on the floor coughiing) cough cough Kilroy, DB? anybody? (crawls towards desk)

Samantha

 

[KilroyCD]

Sam! Here I am! *Crawls under desk with her* You okay? *Looks into her eyes, and they fall into a mad embrace* I'll protect you! *God, that sounded trite*

 

[retrogirl1941]

I think so. I'm not sure. I....I.... can't remember where I am? Last I remember I was in the ready room you had something about my father, butI can't remember what it was..........Wheres DB? Is he ok?

Samantha

 

[Diamondback]

Figures...

[muttering]Typical, some SOB's always gotta ruin my meals...[/mutter]

*draws longslide .45s, shoves in ridiculously oversized magazines and runs outside*

shouting: Okay, Sauerkraut, come and get some! Right here, right on the nose!

*camera: we see DB, striding out like a cross between John Wayne and George C. Scott in the air-raid scene from Patton, .45s blazing through ammo so fast they look like full-auto*

shouting: Where you going, I'm not even warming up! Get your Kraut butts back here! Typical chickencrap [unintelligible]... *reloads, as German Me109s circle around for another pass begins firing; lead 109 begins trailing smoke*

shouting: That's right! That's what you get! That's what you get!
*109 crashes on the field*

shouting: Which one of you Nazi POS'es wants some of this next?!

*camera: we see German planes flying away, DB seething with rage--Kilroy and Sam have to physically dog-pile onto him to keep him from charging the wrecked 109*

 

[retrogirl1941]

(I run over and grab DB) DB come back to us! Come back to me!(pulls DB closer and kisses him on the lips) Please come back to me.

Samantha

Figures...

[muttering]Typical, some SOB's always gotta ruin my meals...[/mutter]

*draws longslide .45s, shoves in ridiculously oversized magazines and runs outside*

shouting: Okay, Sauerkraut, come and get some! Right here, right on the nose!

*camera: we see DB, striding out like a cross between John Wayne and George C. Scott in the air-raid scene from Patton, .45s blazing through ammo so fast they look like full-auto*

shouting: Where you going, I'm not even warming up! Get your Kraut butts back here! Typical chickencrap [unintelligible]... *reloads, as German Me109s circle around for another pass begins firing; lead 109 begins trailing smoke*

shouting: That's right! That's what you get! That's what you get!
*109 crashes on the field*

shouting: Which one of you Nazi POS'es wants some of this next?!

*camera: we see German planes flying away, DB seething with rage--Kilroy and Sam have to physically dog-pile onto him to keep him from charging the wrecked 109*

 

[KilroyCD]

Tune in next time folks...

Announcer: The Chaos Reigns Players will hopefully return next week with another mind-numbing misadventure:
Will Kilroy lose Samantha to DB? (Did Kilroy ever have Sam to begin with?)
Will Diamondback dial back his firepower or lose his mind?
Did Whitehall lose Carter?
Did we lose Dostacos, zaika, MNC and Dash?
Will everyone else lose their lunch?


TUNE IN NEXT TIME To WONK for the answers to these and many other nonsensical questions, when the Chaos Reigns Players continue the saga of The Rescue of the Two Cabooses Plus Multiple Milos or How I Saved the Train With a Plane But Lost My Mind To Porridge.

(We are not responsible for the inconclusivity of the aforementioned conclusion.)

Inspired by Marc Chevalier from a post by Carter derived from a photo posted by Salv.

This Evening's Cast - Samantha, Diamondback, KilroyCD, "Lo Phat" and "Blackout", with a special appearance during the strafing scene by the combined spirits of John Wayne and George Patton...


This Threadcast was posted live at the Studios of the Fedora Lounge.

Our Thanks to MK and the Bartenders for their Understanding and Forebearance.

 

[Diamondback]

Announcer: Tonight's threadcast picks up immediately after our signoff two weeks ago; last week's performance was canceled by unforeseen technical difficulties.

*camera: we see Samantha kiss DB; he seems to collapse three sizes in on himself, and his face--not expression, face itself--seems to change slightly, almost imperceptibly*

>SYSTEM RESET: reverting to Primary B MANUAL control
Umm, Kilroy, Sam? What the heck are you two doing on top of me? What the heck just happened? Holy crap, I feel like I just took on Joe Louis and a dozen of his closest colleagues...

 

[KilroyCD]

*Getting up off the pile and dusting himself off* DB, you looked like something out of a Hollywood western, one Cowboy taking on a swarm of Indians! Quick, let's take cover before they come back. Is anyone hurt?

 

[retrogirl1941]

Well, I, uh, you see. I'm sorry I don't know what came over me. I was afriad that...... (looks over to kilroy and walks out of ready room)

Samantha

 

[Diamondback]

*glances over at wrecked 109* Well, I don't know what you guys did, but you probably saved that Kraut's life by doing it... good thing, there may be useful information which my taser can pry out of his head.

I don't know what happened, I just have these... blackouts... sometimes... and usually when I come to, something really big has happened and I seem to have been the cause of it...

I don't think they'll be back soon, though... Kilroy, if you saw a crazy SOB scratch your wingman with just a pistol from the ground, what would you think?

 

[retrogirl1941]

Wait so you don't remember anything then? And this happens alot? Have you ever had that checked out by a doctor or someone else?(trys to figure out what to say to kilroy)I can't say I knew completley what I was doing either. I guess I was just trying to save DB from what ever was going on but, now I guess I ruined any chances we have togther kilroy I'm sorry.(walks out of ready room)

Samantha

 

[KilroyCD]

Samantha, where are you going? Those Jerries might be coming back, and they might be bloody upset. You ought to get to the slit trenches! *Looks out window, sees a WAAF officer getting ready to light a cigarette* You! Put that bloody cigarette out! The mains have gone! Don't you smell the gas? WAAF Officer: Don't you yell at me, Mr Kilroy!

 

[Diamondback]

Kilroy, if I were you I wouldn't hold whatever happened against her--somebody had to do something to reset my mental "circuit breakers", and she did the first thing that popped to mind. Probably a good thing, as my reflexes coulda killed both of you...

Best guess about these things? Well, it's known that I have a split personality, but usually the two halves "talk" to each other and share all available information. If I had to guess, these amnesiac spells, which seem to be in only the most hazardous or unpleasant situations, that other side's trying to protect me by just taking over control and blocking access to the memories...

Yes, my psychiatrist back home knows all about this, but they're very rare--and since they always seem to work out for the best so far, it's been deemed a "non-issue" in my fitness for duty.

 

[retrogirl1941]

I don't care where I go at this point. And you cannot tell me what to do anyhow!

Samantha

 

[KilroyCD]

Well, I'm not familiar at all with psycological mumbo-jumbo, so I'll have to take you word for it. All I can say is the show was impressive. Well played, old man! I'm just glad you're on the same side as me!

 

[KilroyCD]

I don't care where I go at this point. And you cannot tell me what to do anyhow!

Samantha

Samantha, I know I can't normally tell you what to do, but as long as you're on my airfield, I can give you a direct order so you don't get your arse blown off!