Diamondback
I'll Lock Up
- Messages
- 5,916
Hey, I just read the scripts I get from the Advertising Director.
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WONK: the Chaos Reigns Players
- Thread starter Marc Chevalier
- Start date
carter
I'll Lock Up
- Messages
- 5,921
- Location
- Corsicana, TX
Might I interject some sage advice, parsely though it may be.
Dash, at this thyme you may consider MrNewportCustom (aka MNC) to be completely off the rails, bottoms up, topsy turvey, gone right round the bend, out of whack, on his back. Do you get my drift?
First, locate all the king's men. Next, determine the location of and retrieve his monocle. (I'm certain it is not in any pocket of mine.) Thirdly, attempt to restore the monocle to MNC. Fourthly, have all the king's men collect MNC and give him a sound shaking out and all about.
Fourthly....hmmmm (dozes off for a moment)
Wha...Ah...mmm...yes, well, fifthly, if all else fails, deliver MNC to CRPHQUK (or is that CRPUKHQ ?) into the kind attention of DB.
It is imperative, I repeat IMPERATIVE, that MNC is kept completely in the dark concerning my current location. Mum's the word, loose lips sink ships, a stitch in thyme, hush hush, and all that....hmmm, well, yes, that's it.
OUT
(carter wanders from the room in his robe, boots, and knickers...."hmmm, now where is the rest of my kit...Milo, hello...Milo?"....)
Dash, at this thyme you may consider MrNewportCustom (aka MNC) to be completely off the rails, bottoms up, topsy turvey, gone right round the bend, out of whack, on his back. Do you get my drift?
First, locate all the king's men. Next, determine the location of and retrieve his monocle. (I'm certain it is not in any pocket of mine.) Thirdly, attempt to restore the monocle to MNC. Fourthly, have all the king's men collect MNC and give him a sound shaking out and all about.
Fourthly....hmmmm (dozes off for a moment)
Wha...Ah...mmm...yes, well, fifthly, if all else fails, deliver MNC to CRPHQUK (or is that CRPUKHQ ?) into the kind attention of DB.
It is imperative, I repeat IMPERATIVE, that MNC is kept completely in the dark concerning my current location. Mum's the word, loose lips sink ships, a stitch in thyme, hush hush, and all that....hmmm, well, yes, that's it.
OUT
(carter wanders from the room in his robe, boots, and knickers...."hmmm, now where is the rest of my kit...Milo, hello...Milo?"....)
MrNewportCustom
Call Me a Cab
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- 2,265
- Location
- Outer Los Angeles
WARNING, Mr. Robinson! Carter is parselying out advice! Take cover! WARNING!
This thread has helped me find my niche. She was under my bed. The giggling and occasional plea for a hoagy (no pickles or onions, please) should have given her location away. Eight days is a long time for a game of hide-and-go-seek. But, she's tenacious. She'll be elevenatious next month. Speaking of kids and their birthdays, I haven't seen my nephew since he was four. I hope he'll be alright, wherever he's hiding.
I've also found my monocle, so none of you ragamuffins will be getting your grubby mitts on my cash! Nevermind the fact that a severe paucity of cash makes it difficult for even me to get my grubby mitts on my cash! Anyway, it was over my left eye. I usually keep it over my right eye (that's the bad one, in case you didn't know), but I had to write a note to myself regarding the birthday of yet another sibling's child (gee, my relations seem to be disappearing a lot, as of late) having yet another birthday (do they never end?), but since I haven't seen that one in a month, I figured, Why bother? So, I'd moved the monocle to the other eye, and since it made the vision in my good eye as bad as it makes the vision in my bad eye good, I couldn't find it, because this time everything was blurry, not just the things I prefer not to look at. I'm a man of vision. Not very good vision, but vision nonetheless.
Carter's gone missing, too? But he was just parsleying out advice! No! He's right there! Just look at the post above this one and there he is! See? He even has a picture! I see you, Carter! (Yes, I've moved the monocle back to the right eye, meaning that it's over the correct eye, that being my right eye, which is the bad eye. I'll reprimand it later.) I'm sure you see can what I'm saying. You'd best be able to see what I'm saying, since you have to read what I say to hear me. I hope my message is clear.
I don't want to go to CRPHQUK (or is that CRPUKHQ? How can it not be one or the other? That's two entirely different words, not to mention worlds, except for the absolutely complete sharing of the same letters.) It's a communist country and they are way, WAY too much into sausages over there. Big ones, little ones, ones wrapped in mesh. But none of the ladies there wear mesh stockings. Odd. Not that it matters, as neither do they shave their legs.
Well, it's time for me to hit the hay. Why, I don't know, because the hay hasn't done anything bad that I'm aware of. It just lays there . . . motionless . . . still . . . motionless. It hasn't moved a muscle. In fact, I think it's dead, Jim. Is that enough gibberish for one night? Is my marcidity that obvious?
Lee
___________________________________
Word for the day: Thigmotaxis. You look it up! What, you think I'm some sort of dictionary? Go!
This thread has helped me find my niche. She was under my bed. The giggling and occasional plea for a hoagy (no pickles or onions, please) should have given her location away. Eight days is a long time for a game of hide-and-go-seek. But, she's tenacious. She'll be elevenatious next month. Speaking of kids and their birthdays, I haven't seen my nephew since he was four. I hope he'll be alright, wherever he's hiding.
I've also found my monocle, so none of you ragamuffins will be getting your grubby mitts on my cash! Nevermind the fact that a severe paucity of cash makes it difficult for even me to get my grubby mitts on my cash! Anyway, it was over my left eye. I usually keep it over my right eye (that's the bad one, in case you didn't know), but I had to write a note to myself regarding the birthday of yet another sibling's child (gee, my relations seem to be disappearing a lot, as of late) having yet another birthday (do they never end?), but since I haven't seen that one in a month, I figured, Why bother? So, I'd moved the monocle to the other eye, and since it made the vision in my good eye as bad as it makes the vision in my bad eye good, I couldn't find it, because this time everything was blurry, not just the things I prefer not to look at. I'm a man of vision. Not very good vision, but vision nonetheless.
Carter's gone missing, too? But he was just parsleying out advice! No! He's right there! Just look at the post above this one and there he is! See? He even has a picture! I see you, Carter! (Yes, I've moved the monocle back to the right eye, meaning that it's over the correct eye, that being my right eye, which is the bad eye. I'll reprimand it later.) I'm sure you see can what I'm saying. You'd best be able to see what I'm saying, since you have to read what I say to hear me. I hope my message is clear.
I don't want to go to CRPHQUK (or is that CRPUKHQ? How can it not be one or the other? That's two entirely different words, not to mention worlds, except for the absolutely complete sharing of the same letters.) It's a communist country and they are way, WAY too much into sausages over there. Big ones, little ones, ones wrapped in mesh. But none of the ladies there wear mesh stockings. Odd. Not that it matters, as neither do they shave their legs.
Well, it's time for me to hit the hay. Why, I don't know, because the hay hasn't done anything bad that I'm aware of. It just lays there . . . motionless . . . still . . . motionless. It hasn't moved a muscle. In fact, I think it's dead, Jim. Is that enough gibberish for one night? Is my marcidity that obvious?
Lee
___________________________________
Word for the day: Thigmotaxis. You look it up! What, you think I'm some sort of dictionary? Go!
Diamondback
I'll Lock Up
- Messages
- 5,916
I really don't see a problem with CRP HQ, since they're in the same building as SHAPE...
carter
I'll Lock Up
- Messages
- 5,921
- Location
- Corsicana, TX
Goodnight Chet.
MrNewportCustom
Call Me a Cab
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- Outer Los Angeles
Diamondback said:I really don't see a problem with CRP HQ, since they're in the same building as SHAPE...
But they keep SHAPE-shifting, and that's why we can't find them!
Lee
___________________________
Not in very good shape.
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Diamondback
I'll Lock Up
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Oh, that's not a problem--where do you think my office is?lol
MrNewportCustom
Call Me a Cab
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As I understand it, as you enter from the ground floor (as opposed to entering through the roof, which is usually frowned upon), you take the number three elevator to the garage level. From there, you cross to the guard shack, shake hands with the guard (secret handshake, naturally) and he pulls a lever that opens a trap door that drops you onto a throw pillow about sixteen stories (that's floors) into a dark forbidding pit. From there, you just die and rot, never to be seen again.
Lee
___________________________
Am I close?
Lee
___________________________
Am I close?
Diamondback
I'll Lock Up
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Only if you're an "uninvited guest".
MrNewportCustom
Call Me a Cab
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- Outer Los Angeles
Diamondback said:
What if you show a hall pass?
Lee
Diamondback
I'll Lock Up
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Not good enough, I'm afraid--the guard-shack has dossiers on who's been granted "Omega" clearance and who hasn't, updated twice-daily... we've been having an awful rash of security breaches of late, which is why we're having to take such extreme measures.
MrNewportCustom
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Carter! Please, oh please dump your inbox! The mailman is losing his temper!
Cordially yours,
Lee
Cordially yours,
Lee
MrNewportCustom
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"Omega" clearance? What is this, some sort of frat party?
Lee
____________________________
(Insert quip here.)
Lee
____________________________
(Insert quip here.)
Diamondback
I'll Lock Up
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- 5,916
Oh, that's not good--last time he did that, a "suspicious package" slipped through security-screening. Oh well, Ordnance Disposal needed some practice anyway...
No, Lee--clearances are denoted by letters of the Greek alphabet--someone who holds an Omega, clearance for my office, is cleared for anything...
No, Lee--clearances are denoted by letters of the Greek alphabet--someone who holds an Omega, clearance for my office, is cleared for anything...
carter
I'll Lock Up
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- Corsicana, TX
JABBERWOCKY
MrNewportCustom
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Diamondback said:
*pulls Omega clearance pass from pocket and shows it to DB* You mean like this?
Lee
Diamondback
I'll Lock Up
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*scrutinizes clearance* No, Lee--you really need to find a better forger...
MrNewportCustom
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Diamondback said:
Rico said this'd work! :rage:
Lee
Diamondback
I'll Lock Up
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"Rico", hmmmm? Do tell...
*pulls up chair and begins to examine Altoids tin full of bamboo-shoots*
*pulls up chair and begins to examine Altoids tin full of bamboo-shoots*
MrNewportCustom
Call Me a Cab
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No Altoids for me, thank you. I don't like them. Rico. You know Rico. Stands outside your building selling passes to anyone who's interested. Do I need to get my money back?
Lee
Lee
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