The Dumbest Comment I Ever Heard

[metropd]

I wore my Dunlap Beaver Top hat and evening dress today, and a man on the street asked me where Ginger Rogers was.lol lol

Then I went to a local pub and sat at the bar and put my tails sideways across the seat. Some drunk guy was trying to be cool with his friends, and asked me "do you do magic" with only him laughing and the other friends embarrassed. I replied "yes I make stupid comments disappear." Then everyone started laughing and the heckler smiled and said you look sharp and offered to buy me a drink.

 

[djgo-cat-go]

I had an interesting one yesterday.

I was doing some shopping - it was raining heavily. I wore a vintage 40's brown fedora and a US Army raincoat, over a suit, tie, etc.

Well, I walk past a man (in his thirties) who was having some conversation with a woman leaning out of a 1st floor window. Then I hear him making a couple of "Inspector Gadget" remarks, which I can not believe he did not expect me to hear. I do as I do usually - just ignore him.

About ten minutes later, I go back by the same street, and the guy is still there, in conversation with the same woman at the window. I walk past him, and, AGAIN, he utters the "Inspector Gadget" comments, at hearing distance.

"Ah, no, this is too much", I think, and I stop and go back, to him.

"I think you were talking to me?"
"Eeeh, no sir, I was talking to another person" - he mumbles - there was nobody else in the street, just the referred woman at the window.
"I dont think so, there's nobody else around. "Inspector Gadget", were you saying? So, you were adressing me?
"Uuuuh, no sir, this is a confusion." - increasingly embarrassed.
Then, I flash my badge to him (I am a police officer), to which he startles and blanches, and I say:
"You got half of it right. "Inspector", yes. "Gadget", no." He adopts a jaw-dropped expression, and begins to mumble some more stupid excuses.
"Now, maybe another day you will think it twice before making this kind of fun. Good bye and Merry Christmas."
Then, he looks visibly relieved, replies "Thanks sir, and Merry Christmas to you too", and mumbles some more excuses.

And I went on my own way.

:eusa_clap :eusa_clap That's grand!!

 

[avedwards]

Yesterday I was walking through the snow in my fedora and trenchcoat, delivering Christmas cards to friends. As I walked through one street some youths were having a snowball fight, which never bothers me so long as they let me mind my own business.

However, as I was walking past them one of them said to "get his hat" which he definitely knew I was able to hear. I did what I usually do and ignored it without speeding up my pace to show I wasn't scared. As I was nearing the corner of the street (about 15m away from the youths) a snowball clipped my shoulder and about three others landed by my feet.

I simply turned around and said "you missed" before leaving the street.

Another example of how senseless aggression seems to follow me and my hat around. Then again though, I've always seemed to be immune to snowballs as everyone seems to miss me for one reason or another.

 

[avedwards]

I had an interesting one yesterday.

I was doing some shopping - it was raining heavily. I wore a vintage 40's brown fedora and a US Army raincoat, over a suit, tie, etc.

Well, I walk past a man (in his thirties) who was having some conversation with a woman leaning out of a 1st floor window. Then I hear him making a couple of "Inspector Gadget" remarks, which I can not believe he did not expect me to hear. I do as I do usually - just ignore him.

About ten minutes later, I go back by the same street, and the guy is still there, in conversation with the same woman at the window. I walk past him, and, AGAIN, he utters the "Inspector Gadget" comments, at hearing distance.

"Ah, no, this is too much", I think, and I stop and go back, to him.

"I think you were talking to me?"
"Eeeh, no sir, I was talking to another person" - he mumbles - there was nobody else in the street, just the referred woman at the window.
"I dont think so, there's nobody else around. "Inspector Gadget", were you saying? So, you were adressing me?
"Uuuuh, no sir, this is a confusion." - increasingly embarrassed.
Then, I flash my badge to him (I am a police officer), to which he startles and blanches, and I say:
"You got half of it right. "Inspector", yes. "Gadget", no." He adopts a jaw-dropped expression, and begins to mumble some more stupid excuses.
"Now, maybe another day you will think it twice before making this kind of fun. Good bye and Merry Christmas."
Then, he looks visibly relieved, replies "Thanks sir, and Merry Christmas to you too", and mumbles some more excuses.

And I went on my own way.

I wish I had a police badge for when I got that comment. That's a fantastic story.

 

[funneman]

Sitting at a traffic light yesterday. I was wearing my blue Borsalino, blue blazer and necktie.

I look over and see a guy and his wife having a good chuckle in their truck. I surmise they're probably laughing at my expense and do my best to ignore them. Then the guy rolls his window down, looks at me and yells, "hey!"

I roll my window down, look over and he says "I just told my wife you look like Neil Young in that hat you're wearing"

Without missing a beat I launch into my best Neil Young imitation: "There is a town in north Ontario...sweet memories to spare ..." We both had a good laugh and a small conversation about Mr. Young and we ended with a hearty "Merry Christmas" before driving away.

 

[scottyrocks]

I woulda said something like, 'Yeah, the plastic surgery did wonders, didnt it?!' I can just see the big question marks over there heads. <hehehehe>

 

[Al Niente]

I had an interesting one yesterday.

I was doing some shopping - it was raining heavily. I wore a vintage 40's brown fedora and a US Army raincoat, over a suit, tie, etc.

Well, I walk past a man (in his thirties) who was having some conversation with a woman leaning out of a 1st floor window. Then I hear him making a couple of "Inspector Gadget" remarks, which I can not believe he did not expect me to hear. I do as I do usually - just ignore him.

About ten minutes later, I go back by the same street, and the guy is still there, in conversation with the same woman at the window. I walk past him, and, AGAIN, he utters the "Inspector Gadget" comments, at hearing distance.

"Ah, no, this is too much", I think, and I stop and go back, to him.

"I think you were talking to me?"
"Eeeh, no sir, I was talking to another person" - he mumbles - there was nobody else in the street, just the referred woman at the window.
"I dont think so, there's nobody else around. "Inspector Gadget", were you saying? So, you were adressing me?
"Uuuuh, no sir, this is a confusion." - increasingly embarrassed.
Then, I flash my badge to him (I am a police officer), to which he startles and blanches, and I say:
"You got half of it right. "Inspector", yes. "Gadget", no." He adopts a jaw-dropped expression, and begins to mumble some more stupid excuses.
"Now, maybe another day you will think it twice before making this kind of fun. Good bye and Merry Christmas."
Then, he looks visibly relieved, replies "Thanks sir, and Merry Christmas to you too", and mumbles some more excuses.

And I went on my own way.

LOL!!!! This story made my day. I love it when life presents an opportunity for a turn-about. And, as the old record company slogan used to go, Turn-About is fair play! Just like one of those martial arts that uses the force of the attack against the opponent. BRAVO :eusa_clap

 

[John in Covina]

I "Ah, no, this is too much", I think, and I stop and go back, to him.

**********
There is a time to make people account for their actions, you did well with your policeman's advantage. He will think twice next time.:eusa_clap

 

[Mario]

BEST POST EVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!:eusa_clap :eusa_clap :eusa_clap :eusa_clap :eusa_clap

:arated:

 

[Caity Lynn]

absolutely loved the "inspector" story. Bravo sir, Bravo.

 

[jamespowers]

This thread has come full circle. I was called Columbo again! :eusa_doh:
Fortunately, I was ready for it. It came from my mechanic's helper.
I said "name an episode where he wore a hat---please--just one. Secondly, I am standing here with a fedora and a wool overcoat. Columbo wore a nasty old raincoat. How does that figure?
Next time I come in, I am going to call you Chico---from Chico and the Man---since you are a mechanic after all.
The owner was laughing the whole time I was ripping this guy.

 

[theinterchange]

I was at the mall today, and passed a dad and his two teenaged sons, the older of which from a distance of probably 15 feet or so away from me loudly said while laughing with a nasty look on his face

"Look at the guy in the hat!"

He knew I heard him, I passed him while giving him a steely eyed glare.

A bit later, I passed them again, this time he gave me the evil eye, which I returned.

It didn't hurt my feelings or make me down, it just bugged me that the dad let it go without even addressing the fact that his son was insulting a total stranger in passing.

Randy

 

[Mickey D]

This thread has come full circle. I was called Columbo again! :eusa_doh:
Fortunately, I was ready for it. It came from my mechanic's helper.
I said "name an episode where he wore a hat---please--just one. Secondly, I am standing here with a fedora and a wool overcoat. Columbo wore a nasty old raincoat. How does that figure?
Next time I come in, I am going to call you Chico---from Chico and the Man---since you are a mechanic after all.
The owner was laughing the whole time I was ripping this guy.

Are you sure it's the hat and coat? Do you have a glass eye?

 

[Mario]

Are you sure it's the hat and coat? Do you have a glass eye?

lol lol lol lol

 

[John in Covina]

I have a real noodge of a neighbor that insists on calling me HAT! Now I am not interested in nicknames or the tone he uses.

He originally expressed an interest and asked questions but was the type that did not listen to answers, so I know he either has no actual interest or is not capable of listening to others.

He tells me regularly that he has a bunch of his dad's hats (possibly fedoras?) in the attic. I was trying to tell him that the tempuratures in the attic may not be best for the fur felt or sweat bands but he just blew me off. I asked if he was interested in getting them redone so he could maybe wear them but the answer was a big nope. I then asked if he'd consider selling them like on Ebay so he could profit and makes others happy, and that was a really big no. He really does seem to consider himself a big winner on that whole hat in the attic thing, I just can't figure out the advantage or benefits other than he might just be happier knowing others can't have them.

It takes all kinds, and a lot of them seem to be on my block.

 

[High Pockets]

John I gotta hand it to you,....you're a much nicer fella than I am,.....everytime he addressed me as "Hat" I'd flash him a real friendly grin and give him a "Hey what's up, Stoopid?"

I've spent too many years on construction jobs and in fire-stations to put with that kinda horse-$#!+.

 

[Karyl]

always get "Johnny Depp" or just "Johnny". Also "Michael Jackson" or sometimes even "the guy with the hat" or "hutiger hutmann", which is german for something like "hatty hatman". >_>

 

[John in Covina]

John I gotta hand it to you,....you're a much nicer fella than I am,.....everytime he addressed me as "Hat" I'd flash him a real friendly grin and give him a "Hey what's up, Stoopid?" I've spent too many years on construction jobs and in fire-stations to put with that kinda horse-$#!+.

***********
It's more a matter that I avoid giving anyone a rash of @#$% and make for a really crummy neighbor hood experience, I can tolerate this as it is about once a week to once a month. No sense setting an uneasy mood for the block, I prefer mellow.

 

[High Pockets]

You're a good man and a good neighbor my friend.

 

[deanzat]

I live in a community of such eccentric - and self obsessed - characters that people rarely comment on my hats. About a year ago, I was photographing a community theater rehearsal for publicity shots, and a guest actor snidely commented on my Fed IV:

"Did you borrow that from Indiana Jones?"

Before I could respond, the costume designer piped up, perfectly deadpan:

"No, when Dean killed him, the hat became his."

The actor and I were both speechless. Of course, I can work that way.