WONK: the Chaos Reigns Players

[KilroyCD]

C.P.D. Kilroy: Well, if nobody is around, I'm going to get out of here and try to find Samantha! I'll bet Zeigfried has her...

 

[Diamondback]

*Just then, a nurse walks in; we see her nametag reads "Ratchett"*
Nurse Ratchett: Squadron Leader Kilroy, there's a Mr. "PFY" on the phone for you, says it's urgent. Shall I have the operator transfer the call?

 

[KilroyCD]

C.P.D. Kilroy: Please, nurse, with all due haste. I hope PFY has something I can use. *The nurse turns and walks away to get the phone, and Kilroy notices how tight her skirt is* Good Lord, if that skirt was any tighter, I couldn't breathe!

 

[retrogirl1941]

Me-(struggling to keep concious) Kilroy,...........................please..... someone....help...(my mind is going crazy b/c I keep hearing what sounds like bombing in the distance and going back unconcious)

Clive-Keep it quiet over there! Yeah, crazy must run in the family!

Samantha

 

[Diamondback]

PFY (on phone): Kilroy, do you have a brother? Have someone who looks just like you here, who the Boss and the General hauled out of the Swan and Farthing ruins.... never thought I'd see George Patton carrying a stretcher or giving first aid, I'll tell you that! Anyway, guy claims to be "Richard Kilroy"...

Meanwhile, back at Teekay's... DB/B, Arnold and Patton have fought their way about halfway to the house, leaving a trail of Wehrmacht-gray-clad bodies in their wake.
Patton: So, is every day like this for you?!
*sigh* Believe me, this is a good day compared to some I've had... I saw one op take 90% casualties in 48 hours, wiped out almost my entire training class...

Blackout: I've got them! Rocket away! Rocket away! *two rockets fall from Blackout's wings, and spear into a corner of the mansion, followed by Blackout opening up with the 40mms on a strafing pass*
Blackout: Now that I have their attention...

 

[KilroyCD]

*The nurse returns with a phone, and sets it on Kilroy's end table. As Kilroy Picks up the receiver, the nurse pulls out a hypodermic needle.* C.P.D.Kilroy: Hello, PFY? Hello? Yes, I have a brother, but he's in the Royal Navy and his name is James. *Turns to nurse* *Notices nurse injecting him* Hey! What's in that... hypodeemic... nerdle? *Passes out*

 

[retrogirl1941]

Clive-That was not my imagination, those were bombs! which way to the shelter?

Zeigfreid-Into the front hallway!(picking me up and walking in to the front hallway)

Samantha

 

[Diamondback]

Nurse Ratchett, into phone: Okay, he's out--I'll get an ambulance and have him moved over to Hangar 18 stat.

Several minutes later...
*we see an unconscious Kilroy being moved into the Hangar 18 medical suite, under PFY and Nurse Ratchett's supervision*
PFY: Wakey wakey, old boy...*injects Kilroy with the antidote to Ratchett's injection*
Nurse Ratchett: Uh, where are we? What is all this? And why did we need Kilroy to "disappear", and me to fill out a death certificate?
PFY: It's for his own safety... and because we can get him back into the fight a lot faster than your doctors. Besides, I think you'll find the rewards well worth the trouble... would you care to join me for dinner tonight?

 

[retrogirl1941]

Zeigfreid -Oh its looks like the shelter has been bombed. Hmmm... Vell, we can stay here until my driver gets the car out and can get us out of here safely with the girl.

Clive- What about everything going on around the property? Won't there be a risk in them, getting her back?

Samantha

 

[Diamondback]

*Ziegfried's car rolls up, only to be strafed into a flaming wreck by low-flying Blackout*

Okay, there they are! Arnold, you're on point, General, you're covering my back!

*The two men and one machine charge in on the objective; Clive is paralyzed in shock while Ziegfried flees for his life; assorted guards attempt to form a barrier line*

Arnold, brandishing belt-fed machine gun: Resistance is futile--surrender or be terminated!

 

[retrogirl1941]

As Zeigfreid starts to run away in haste, he drops me on the floor.

Clive-uh......(frozen in place) uh... I can.... explain! Don't shoot!(throwing his hands up in air)


samantha

 

[Diamondback]

Don't bother, Clive--I know what you've been trying to do... *throws .45 at his feet* Don't just look at it, pick it up!
Patton: Young lady, fall back on my position, I'll cover you!*Patton shoots several incoming Germans*
*Clive looks at .45, befuddled*
"If I decide to kill you, you'll be awake, you'll be facing me, and you'll be armed!" You're awake, you're facing me, you're armed, so...

*cocks all ten digits at Clive and adjusts Taser controls to "lethal", lets the high-voltage electricity fly...*

 

[retrogirl1941]

I get behind Patton. What I see unfolding in front of me is unreal. DB/B and clive in a duel!

Clive-(Looking down at the .45 at his feet)Uh......(apparently still in shock, picks up the gun) I can't do this.....

Samantha

 

[Diamondback]

*Clive drops the gun, as he's hit with several tens of thousands of volts*Auuugh! Noooo!! PLEEEEEEEASE!!!
(Bourne, in a creepily evil voice that will be used by Ian McDiarmid as "Palpatine" 40 years later) And now, Clive... you will die. *throws some more "lightning", as Clive resumes screaming and Patton sneaks up behind, placing muzzle of his Single Action Army to the back of Bourne's skull*
Patton: That's enough, son--you've made your point. Alive, he might have valuable intelligence, dead he has nothing to offer. Stand down...

 

[retrogirl1941]

Me-DB he did'nt do anything, he treid but did'nt do it. (turning away in horror and walking away from DB)

Samantha

 

[Diamondback]

*Arnold handcuffs the nearly-barbequed Clive to a stretcher, as Patton secures his weapon and...*
Arnold: Thought I might have to do this someday... *administers Bourne a knockout punch*

Blackout: I've called for a couple of trucks to get you back to the base. I'd handle it myself, except there're too many of you and there's nowhere for me to land.

 

[Diamondback]

Announcer: The Chaos Reigns Players will hopefully return next week with another mind-numbing misadventure:

Will Kilroy recover from this latest round of injuries?
Who is "Richard Kilroy", really?
Will Diamondback ever return, and will he be able to regain his control over his "Bourne identity"?
Will Samantha ever be able to trust any of her "allies" again?
Will any of them survive working alongside a bored and blackballed General Patton?
What exotic weapons will Blackout load next?
How will Diamondback react upon finding out that Arnold dealt him a total knockout?
Will Carter return?
Will we ever see Dostacos, zaika, MNC and Dash again?
Will our intrepid heroes ever return to their respective missions? (Bourne: Mine's done.)


TUNE IN NEXT TIME To WONK for the answers to these and many other nonsensical questions, when the Chaos Reigns Players continue the saga of The Rescue of the Two Cabooses Plus Multiple Milos or How I Saved the Train With a Plane But Lost My Mind To Porridge.

(We are not responsible for the inconclusivity of the aforementioned conclusion.)

Inspired by Marc Chevalier from a post by Carter derived from a photo posted by Salv.

This Evening's Cast - Samantha, (Diamondback)/"Jason Bourne", KilroyCD, "Kilroy #2", "Clive", "Zeigfried", "PFY", "Nurse Ratchett", "Arnold", "General George Patton", "Blackout", and assorted guards.


This Threadcast was posted live at the Studios of the Fedora Lounge.

Our Thanks to MK and the Bartenders for their Understanding and Forebearance.

 

[retrogirl1941]

Last week we left DB/Bourne knocked out cold by Arnold. Patton was trying to control Bourne's anger and Retrogirl was rescued succesfully.Our scene opens in hanger 18.......

(talking to DB/Bourne) Where is kilroy and Is he ok? I remember a bomb going off but, am drawing a blank otherwise.



Samantha

 

[Diamondback]

Well, depends which Kilroy you mean... the one you know and love's over in the hospital, and another, claiming to be his brother, is in a secured suite downstairs while we try to figure out who the heck he really is...

Ouch, I feel like I took a brick wall to the face. What happened?

 

[retrogirl1941]

Yes I mean the kilroy I am invovled with. Two kilroys? One is crazy enough! You mean you don't remember? You were going to fry clive to a crisp so arnold gave you a hard punch to knock you out. You truly don't remember any of that?

Samantha