What are you wearing today??

[Big Man]

I don't think that's on a ship. So you're good.

Whew, that was close. Even if it's on land, they wouldn't let me that near the water for fear I'd put my foot in the ocean and raise the tide by two or three feet.

 

[LadyBaltimore]

Telling someone they have a nice smile and saying that alone is not at all sexist, and I have stressed that numerous times already, comments saying otherwise are missing the point entirely. This is about whether or not women should have to smile, even if it's not natural, just because other people, often strangers feel their face is more appealing with a smile. I should not have to fit someone's idea of beauty, nor should I have to constantly be told to smile, I'll smile when it's natural and genuine, and I have as much right as someone who has a "happier" face when in resting form (not making any expression) to just be and not pose all the time.

BigMan, if your comment is directed at me, it doesn't make sense...what does a stranger telling me repeatedly that I should smile in photographs, have anything to do with how I dress or working hard towards something? This wasn't about my clothes at all, which this thread is, which was exactly my point. I posted to share an outfit, not receive critiques on how my face should look (although a compliment alone on my face, without strings attached is not and has never been balked at). I was not given a compliment on what I wore, which is always appreciated and obviously is not offended, I was told how to pose, which usually stems from "you look prettier when you smile" which is also to say "your face is uglier when you aren't"...most people don't smile non-stop, so that would be most the time. But really, why should my face have anything to do with photos that are about clothing anyway?

 

[Dreamofgilgamesh]

I for one enjoyed seeing your clothes Lady Baltimore and I hope you continue to post photos of them.

 

[HadleyH]

Fading Fast, BR Gordon, triple-d, Eddie Derbyshire.....Thank you kindly for your comments!!!! I do appreciate them very much!


Big Man.....I would never in a million years consider your compliments or the compliments of the gentlemen here sexist or offensive or anything of the sort! OMG what rubbish!!! on the contrary!! I love them!


Again thank you warmly to everybody for the comments!

 

[HoosierDaddy]

It amazes me how people today can feel offended...or even search for something to often feel displeasure about...then rise up on their haunches to launch an attack no matter how innocently or friendly a comment might have been meant. Deliberately retorting with stunning reprimands as some sort of self satisfying retaliation dismissing any other intention but 'offending me'. I wish that I could count the number of times that I've felt offended in my life, and even sometimes over little intentional 'catty' remarks. I learned early in life that if I let all those real and supposed offenses caused me to 'return the favor'..I would be miserable and , of course, making some others feel that they must walk on egg shells to ever deal with me. Insisting that 'my' feeling of disrespect was more important than how I just made you feel by jumping down your throat.
In the Outerwear Section there are responses, directed at those showing off their leather jackets, that encourage others to 'smile'. Often directed at 'me' since I tend to usually maintain a serious look. So what? I understand exactly what they are talking about. Most everyone enjoys a happy expression usually because they are happy for you. Yet there are those who declare..but you don't understand 'I' resented your violation of 'me'. Then after a response of 'no harm intended' that stance is softened only with 'I did make my point' now you live with that. Some would consider that harsh and offensive...but then just mark it off as OK..we know how you feel now..and that must be certainly most important.

 

[HadleyH]

Another casual day in South America... a seafood reastaurant.... lunch time

I'm wearing a trench coat, black angora sweater, suede boots, ray ban sunglasses and I'm ready for the entree!!!! LOL (food was really good)

 

[Big Man]

Telling someone they have a nice smile and saying that alone is not at all sexist, and I have stressed that numerous times already, comments saying otherwise are missing the point entirely. This is about whether or not women should have to smile, even if it's not natural, just because other people, often strangers feel their face is more appealing with a smile. I should not have to fit someone's idea of beauty, nor should I have to constantly be told to smile, I'll smile when it's natural and genuine, and I have as much right as someone who has a "happier" face when in resting form (not making any expression) to just be and not pose all the time.

BigMan, if your comment is directed at me, it doesn't make sense...what does a stranger telling me repeatedly that I should smile in photographs, have anything to do with how I dress or working hard towards something? This wasn't about my clothes at all, which this thread is, which was exactly my point. I posted to share an outfit, not receive critiques on how my face should look (although a compliment alone on my face, without strings attached is not and has never been balked at). I was not given a compliment on what I wore, which is always appreciated and obviously is not offended, I was told how to pose, which usually stems from "you look prettier when you smile" which is also to say "your face is uglier when you aren't"...most people don't smile non-stop, so that would be most the time. But really, why should my face have anything to do with photos that are about clothing anyway?

I am told all the time that I should smile in photos (or rather it's pointed out that I hardly ever do smile in photos). I would probably look better (or at least "happier") if I did smile, but I always felt an "unnatural" or "non-spontaneous" smile, on me at least, looked a bit goofy. That being said, I do believe a smile on a person's face usually does look better than a non-smile. I'm as guilty as anyone about not smiling in photos, and as guilty as anyone about liking to see a smile in a photo. It's a paradox, I guess. [huh]

I guess your reaction to being told you should smile took be back a bit. I couldn't see how that statement could possibly be construed as anything offensive or sexist. If my responses were out of line, I apologize.

 

[Fading Fast]

Hadley H, dynamite outfit, dynamite smile. You have a talent for putting together great outfits and for looking comfortable, natural and happy in your clothes that I wish I could accomplish. While the boots and jeans echo more of a '70s vibe (and look great to me, just a little outside the FL envelope), the trench coat, Raybans and angora sweater show how Golden Era classic can mix and match with other eras and create a fantastic dynamic. Plus your trip looks like it is awesome - enjoy and please continue sharing your wonderful outfits and "lifestyle" (if that is the right word - I'm a little gun shy right now) shots.

 

[HadleyH]

Stop apologizing!!!!!! GRRRRRRRRRRRR LOL

you have said nothing wrong!

 

[Eddie Derbyshire]

Looking good HadleyH - looks like a nice place too! What's the temperature like? Just going on you wearing a sweater and a coat.

---

OK people, lets end this cycle. We don't get to decide who we offend - if someone takes offense, then that is that. People have the same right to feel offended as everyone else does to offend them (whatever their intention). This is a place for clothes and style, and I don't think we should be putting someone off participating in this thread by continuing going over the same point. Let's not perpetuate this. Let's all move on and get back to what we do best - celebrate clothes and have friendly, united discussion.

---

In the interests of diverting the discussion - what are people wearing day-to-day at the moment? I'm struggling between more casual lightweight jackets and trousers, but still wanting to wear my more favoured thicker winter suits. The dilemma!

 

[HadleyH]

Thank you FF !!!!!

Thank you Eddie!

 

[Big Man]

... a seafood reastaurant.... lunch time ...

Dang, now all of a sudden I'm hungry for seafood.


Nice outfit, by the way. I especially like those boots.

 

[HoosierDaddy]

Another casual day in South America... a seafood reastaurant.... lunch time

I'm wearing a trench coat, black angora sweater, suede boots, ray ban sunglasses and I'm ready for the entree!!!! LOL (food was really good)

Absolutely loverly HH...

 

[HadleyH]

Merci HH

Big Man (((merci too)))

 

[Fading Fast]

I am told all the time that I should smile in photos (or rather it's pointed out that I hardly ever do smile in photos). I would probably look better (or at least "happier") if I did smile, but I always felt an "unnatural" or "non-spontaneous" smile, on me at least, looked a bit goofy. That being said, I do believe a smile on a person's face usually does look better than a non-smile. I'm as guilty as anyone about not smiling in photos, and as guilty as anyone about liking to see a smile in a photo. It's a paradox, I guess. [huh]

I guess your reaction to being told you should smile took be back a bit. I couldn't see how that statement could possibly be construed as anything offensive or sexist. If my responses were out of line, I apologize.

Big Man, my guess is you have a megawatt smile that could light up a room (two cliches in one phrase - I will go directly to jail), but you also can pull off the "serious" look well - like Rebecca on "Cheers - " it just fits for you (she could freeze a room and look natural and great doing it).

I can't and am jealous (as I am constantly told to smile and when I see pictures of myself, I agree, a smile helps as my "serious" face just looks cranky). You are one of the most consistently nice, generous and giving posters and I know you would never intentionally offend anyone - so please don't feel badly as while I might one day burn in the underworld - I will smile a bit amidst the flames because I am fully confident that heaven has a front row seat for you.

 

[Denton]

I don't think I have posted here before, but I look at this thread regularly, and want to comment on the question about smiling. Men do sometimes comment on the unsmiling faces of other men. In the Outerwear section, when Hoosier Daddy posts pictures of himself wearing leather jackets, people sometimes respond with friendly jokes about his reluctance to smile. Similarly, in the "What Hat Are You Wearing Today?" thread, there have been comments about the stony faces of some of the most respected posters such as rlk.

However, these jokes and comments are different from the kind of demand that Lady Baltimore is talking about. A demand for women's faces to have a certain expression, and really a demand for women to feel a certain way. It seems clear to me that Fading Fast (who clearly has a heart of gold and an abiding passion for vintage stuff!) did not intend to make any such demand. But if, every time I went outside, men yelled at me, often in an intrusive, threatening way, to smile, I would probably hear any admonition to smile as part of the same intrusive, threatening pattern, just like Lady Baltimore.

One of my favorite things about this website is that it allows men to look at, and admire, pictures of other men. (I have my own issues with being photographed, so I don't usually participate in these exchanges, but I appreciate them.) This thread is different in that both men and women post and comment here. For that reason alone, I would be sorry to lose Lady Baltimore's excellent pictures.

As I understand it, she is asking for the courtesy of being allowed to feel her own feelings, and express her feelings, without intrusion. I don't think that courtesy is very different from the courtesy of paying compliments.

Also, Big Man, please don't ever change!

 

[Big Man]

Big Man, my guess is you have a megawatt smile that could light up a room (two cliches in one phrase - I will go directly to jail), but you also can pull off the "serious" look well - like Rebecca on "Cheers - " it just fits for you (she could freeze a room and look natural and great doing it).

I can't and am jealous (as I am constantly told to smile and when I see pictures of myself, I agree, a smile helps as my "serious" face just looks cranky). You are one of the most consistently nice, generous and giving posters and I know you would never intentionally offend anyone - so please don't feel badly as while I might one day burn in the underworld - I will smile a bit amidst the flames because I am fully confident that heaven has a front row seat for you.

Thanks for the kind words, FF. I know for sure where I'm headed in the next world, but by chance you don't make it there, I'll do my level best to reach down and yank you up in the sky.





Now, here's my attempt to get this thread back on track (well, at least the part that I had a hand in derailing). I've been working on and off all day in the garden, so I have on my usual "work attire" of bib overalls, an old worn-out Oxford shirt, and a fedora that's seen better days.

Also, in the spirit of full disclosure, here is my smile-for-the-camera smile. Like my dear old Daddy used to say, "boy, you smile like a mule eating briars." :eeek:

 

[Fading Fast]

Denton, thank you. I, too, would hate to loose LB's posts and would feel horrible that I was the cause of it. I sincerely - and emphasized that it was without rancor or animus - offered to refrain from commenting on them to encourage her to continue posting.

And as to your comment on Big Man - yes, yes, yes.

 

[Fading Fast]

Thanks for the kind words, FF. I know for sure where I'm headed in the next world, but by chance you don't make it there, I'll do my level best to reach down and yank you up in the sky.





Now, here's my attempt to get this thread back on track (well, at least the part that I had a hand in derailing). I've been working on and off all day in the garden, so I have on my usual "work attire" of bib overalls, an old worn-out Oxford shirt, and a fedora that's seen better days.

Also, in the spirit of full disclosure, here is my smile-for-the-camera smile. Like my dear old Daddy used to say, "boy, you smile like a mule eating briars." :eeek:

Big Man, I knew you had a megawatt smile - thank you for proving me right. And thank you for your offer of an outreached hand - I am truly, sincerely and deeply touched.

On to lighter things - a well worn Oxford Cloth shirt is one of life's greatest simple pleasures. I, surprisingly for my vintage passion, don't own a ton of things - but I do have a decent number of Oxford Cloth Button Down shirts in my closet - the older the better.

 

[Eddie Derbyshire]

Oxford shirts do indeed weather well. Even when they get worn down to holes they still have a charm.

What brand is your hat Big Man? It's great!

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