The Dumbest Comment I Ever Heard

[funneman]

Here are a couple of new ones.

The other day I showed up for work in an Adam straw fedora, a black guyabera, cuffed khakis and black and white shoes.

One guy said I looked like Ricky Ricardo.lol

The other guy said I looked like Tony Montana.lol lol

 

[Mike in Seattle]

I was at a memorial service for a friend a few weeks ago. We showed up early to help organize things. The friend in charge clapped when I walked in. "Michael, you always know how to look appropriate for whatever occasion. Could I get you to ask people to sign the book and hand out programs at the door?" "Sure." "My daughter was going to do it" - points at someone who clearly didn't want to be there - late teens, arms crossed defiantly, listening to her iPod. I had on a charcoal pinstripe suit. I was really floored a few showed up in jogging shorts (it was 60 degrees, gray with threats of drizzle out) and yet again, thought, "Here's someone's memorial service and so many clearly don't have a clue - heaven forbid they give up a couple hours in someone's memory instead of spending it at the mall or watching ESPN."

I've mentioned on other recent posts the one who blew bubbles with her gum all through the service, another in her "good" black tank top over her Barbie pink bra (straps showing of course) matching her Barbie pink flip-flops. People 45 minutes late for an 11 am service saying "We woke up late and iHop was slow today!"

But the stupid remark came from an 18 or so year old granddaughter of a lady I know well. I'm at the door handing out the programs. The granddaugher says, "Uh, like, um, are you some...like...some mortuary guy?" Apparently, someone in a suit is a bit of a new thing for her, although her grandfather (prominent businessman who has been dead 15 or so years) wore them daily. Seeing Dorothy just roll her eyes with a look like "I wanna clobber her," I responded, "No, dear. I'm not like some mortuary guy. But if you were a relation of mine, showing up like that, you'd definitely need a mortuary guy."

 

[MAB1]

"the pimp needed to take his hat off". Pimp? Me?

I had my stingy brim on last Xmas and my buddy's kid called it, "Pimpin!" To which I replied, "I would think that a real pimp hat would have a wider brim."

Later I figured out that "Pimpin" was a compliment. :eusa_clap

Oh... and I've gotten the Grandpa thing too. I take that too, as a compliment. And when people yell things, I remove my hat, wave with it and smile. It shocks many to see how much damn hair I have on my head.

 

[John in Covina]

I was at a memorial service for a friend a few weeks ago. We showed up early to help organize things. The friend in charge clapped when I walked in. "Michael, you always know how to look appropriate for whatever occasion. Could I get you to ask people to sign the book and hand out programs at the door?" "Sure." "My daughter was going to do it" - points at someone who clearly didn't want to be there - late teens, arms crossed defiantly, listening to her iPod. I had on a charcoal pinstripe suit. I was really floored a few showed up in jogging shorts (it was 60 degrees, gray with threats of drizzle out) and yet again, thought, "Here's someone's memorial service and so many clearly don't have a clue - heaven forbid they give up a couple hours in someone's memory instead of spending it at the mall or watching ESPN."

I've mentioned on other recent posts the one who blew bubbles with her gum all through the service, another in her "good" black tank top over her Barbie pink bra (straps showing of course) matching her Barbie pink flip-flops. People 45 minutes late for an 11 am service saying "We woke up late and iHop was slow today!"

But the stupid remark came from an 18 or so year old granddaughter of a lady I know well. I'm at the door handing out the programs. The granddaugher says, "Uh, like, um, are you some...like...some mortuary guy?" Apparently, someone in a suit is a bit of a new thing for her, although her grandfather (prominent businessman who has been dead 15 or so years) wore them daily. Seeing Dorothy just roll her eyes with a look like "I wanna clobber her," I responded, "No, dear. I'm not like some mortuary guy. But if you were a relation of mine, showing up like that, you'd definitely need a mortuary guy."

**************

The general feeling is: why should I be inconvenienced by anyone or anything? Part of the phenomenon is also a total lack of concern as to how things get done, people learn that they don't have to contribute and then have a sense that it's always somebody else's gig to take care of things so that they don't have to be inconvenienced.

That is how it has shifted the sense of duty and service towards others versus focus on self and the related follow your heart, & do what you want to do.

Are we getting close to the tipping point in society? Will we reach a time in which those who dutifuly step forward and serve, finally give up and say I am not doing it anymore.

 

[Orvil Newton]

"Tip your hat to this lady son"

I customarily tip my hat to ladies when I am out walking. One afternoon while I was out for a walk a lady friend who is in her seventies pulled her car over next to me and said "I saw you tip your hat to that lady. How sweet!"

Now, every time I run into her in a restaurant or at the theater or market, she tells everyone around how sweet I am and that she saw me tip my hat to a stranger on the street.

For some reason, polite behavior has become remarkable.

 

[Jerekson]

Today I was talking to a friend, and she mentioned that not long ago she had had to stand up for me to someone. Obviously I was intrigued, so I asked...

Apparently, a man that I had met a while ago previously had been telling her that it was odd the way I dressed. He had asked her "what my deal was" and "if I had some sort of a problem".
She had done a good job on her part and, like she had said, stood up for me and told him that I had class, no more no less.
There's three things that bother me about this.
One, when I met this guy he seemed friendly enough and I actually liked him.
Two, if he has such an issue with the way I look, he really oughta show his masculinity by confronting me about it.
Three, how is it that someone who decides to look their best (instead of looking like they don't care) automatically has some sort of nervous problem?

And you know what's sad? I'll never look at that guy the same way again. All I will see is a cowardly, insecure jerk. And he deserves that treatment from me.

And it's even more of a letdown because this guy is twice my age. That's what makes it really, just...disgusting. A wise elder, for sure.

I can't wait until the next time I see him. Maybe I'll show up wearing a morning coat and a top hat.

 

[HamletJSD]

It's hard to call it a dumb comment coming from a young tot, but amusing nonetheless...

A little one tugged on mom's outfit, getting her to bend down, and whispered in her ear. The mom came up laughing and staring at me.
"He wants to know if you have a horse ..."

 

[MAB1]

"No, dear. I'm not like some mortuary guy. But if you were a relation of mine, showing up like that, you'd definitely need a mortuary guy."

:eusa_clap Let me tell you Mike... My nephew was a mortuary guy, and you're not my nephew. A good Funeral Director (FD) would never say anything like that.

BTW, my nephew is retired from the profession now, and he thanks God everyday, that he doesn't have to get up everyday to put on a suit and tie.

 

[John in Covina]

Today I was talking to a friend, and she mentioned that not long ago she had had to stand up for me to someone.

********************
From the beginning of time, for some, the only way to look good, is to try to make others look bad.

 

[carldelo]

I was at a memorial service for a friend a few weeks ago. We showed up early to help organize things. The friend in charge clapped when I walked in. "Michael, you always know how to look appropriate for whatever occasion. Could I get you to ask people to sign the book and hand out programs at the door?" "Sure." "My daughter was going to do it" - points at someone who clearly didn't want to be there - late teens, arms crossed defiantly, listening to her iPod. I had on a charcoal pinstripe suit. I was really floored a few showed up in jogging shorts (it was 60 degrees, gray with threats of drizzle out) and yet again, thought, "Here's someone's memorial service and so many clearly don't have a clue - heaven forbid they give up a couple hours in someone's memory instead of spending it at the mall or watching ESPN."

I've mentioned on other recent posts the one who blew bubbles with her gum all through the service, another in her "good" black tank top over her Barbie pink bra (straps showing of course) matching her Barbie pink flip-flops. People 45 minutes late for an 11 am service saying "We woke up late and iHop was slow today!"

But the stupid remark came from an 18 or so year old granddaughter of a lady I know well. I'm at the door handing out the programs. The granddaugher says, "Uh, like, um, are you some...like...some mortuary guy?" Apparently, someone in a suit is a bit of a new thing for her, although her grandfather (prominent businessman who has been dead 15 or so years) wore them daily. Seeing Dorothy just roll her eyes with a look like "I wanna clobber her," I responded, "No, dear. I'm not like some mortuary guy. But if you were a relation of mine, showing up like that, you'd definitely need a mortuary guy."

Hey Mike - this brings me back, but not in a good way. I was in the big funeral home on the main drag in Renton WA after my father passed away in 1999, taking care of some arrangements. There were two memorial services taking place that day - not a suit jacket or tie was in evidence among the 100 or so people I saw - amazing and depressing. Several days later at my dad's service, I wore the only suit - most of my brothers wore ties and jackets, but not all. The amazing thing to see was senior citizens, from the generation of proper attire, wearing chinos and windbreakers to a memorial service. Maybe they don't even own the clothes anymore - and I guess there's just no event that rates the effort to dress appropriately.

Carl - Renton High School Class of '78

 

[MAB1]

Hey, forget about how people dress. Who are we to judge. The important thing is being there.

BTW, ever seen the movie "Being There" ??? That's a great observation of how people are judged, on their attire. http://www.answers.com/"Being+There"?cat=entertainment&gwp=11&method=3&ver=2.3.0.609

 

[Senator Jack]

Excerpt from an article I wrote on funeral black. Though humorously written, I firmly believe this is how people are coping with death.

'Of course, it’s easy for us to forget about the Jungian power of black because we don’t see much of it any more. All we see is the everyday black of boardrooms, dance clubs, and nursery schools (an inordinate amount of babies in Misfits t-shirts nowadays) but with times a-changing what we get at memorial services is red and green and pink and khaki, all of which, at one time or another, have been called ‘the new black’, so perhaps in a way those colors are wholly acceptable for mourning. And as much as my traditionalism tells me I should be objecting to this, as well as to the spate of cargo shorts and tennis shoes that have funereally turned up, I’m unsure if this trend of the come-as-you-are interment is illustrating a lack of respect for the dead as much as it is heralding Western culture’s new healthy way of accepting the inevitable. Perhaps by donning nothing more than the daily wear of the street and office, mourners aren’t being lazy, as we tend to believe, but are simply coming to view the day of death as just another day in the life. We get up. We miss the train. We expire. Oom-bye, Uncle Ed. I’ll see you on the other side.'

Regards,

Jack

 

[donCarlos]

...pink and khaki, all of which, at one time or another, have been called ‘the new black’, so perhaps in a way those colors are wholly acceptable for mourning. ...

For me is the pink and khaki combination reason for mourning itself, no matter whose funeral it is.

To stay on topic, this has happened to me about a week ago. It´s not a dumb comment, but It made me angry and amused me at the same time.
I was in a pub with friends (all about 20 years old) and one girl just took my hat from my lap and put it on her head. I promptly took it back and told her that she can´t take it without asking me and not even then (because they all handle it like a baseball cap and I have to rebash it and adjust the brim again and again). About fifteen minutes later, she asked me for the hat (what an improvement!), but I didn´t want to risk the handling again, so I quoted somebody´s reply from here "OK, may I borrow your underwear?". Her reply got me on my knees. "I have none. May I have the hat now?". I gave up and gave it to her and I spent an hour at home fixing it.

 

[Jerekson]

********************
From the beginning of time, for some, the only way to look good, is to try to make others look bad.

Yes. And this guy definitely needs the help, let me tell you.

:and he thanks God everyday, that he doesn't have to get up everyday to put on a suit and tie.

Oh, the horror!

 

[byronic]

i dont wish to keep the funeral thing going but a colleague died a short time ago, as i had to rush to work later, i showed up at the funeral in a pea coat, navy pants and black shoes and hoped nobody would mind. - mind? i was a model of gravity in comparison to the collection of torn jeans, battered running shoes, tracksuits and bomber jackets that were present. in fact i felt over dressed. sad but true.

 

[Maj.Nick Danger]

Excerpt from an article I wrote on funeral black. Though humorously written, I firmly believe this is how people are coping with death.

'Of course, it’s easy for us to forget about the Jungian power of black because we don’t see much of it any more. All we see is the everyday black of boardrooms, dance clubs, and nursery schools (an inordinate amount of babies in Misfits t-shirts nowadays) but with times a-changing what we get at memorial services is red and green and pink and khaki, all of which, at one time or another, have been called ‘the new black’, so perhaps in a way those colors are wholly acceptable for mourning.

Regards,

Jack

All this makes me tend to agree with the inimitable Johnny Cash,....with the following quote which explains quite eloquently his penchant for wearing black.

Well, you wonder why I always dress in black,
Why you never see bright colors on my back,
And why does my appearance seem to have a somber tone.
Well, there's a reason for the things that I have on.

I wear the black for the poor and the beaten down,
Livin' in the hopeless, hungry side of town,
I wear it for the prisoner who has long paid for his crime,
But is there because he's a victim of the times.

I wear the black for those who never read,
Or listened to the words that Jesus said,
About the road to happiness through love and charity,
Why, you'd think He's talking straight to you and me.

Well, we're doin' mighty fine, I do suppose,
In our streak of lightnin' cars and fancy clothes,
But just so we're reminded of the ones who are held back,
Up front there ought 'a be a Man In Black.
http://www.rare-lyrics.com

I wear it for the sick and lonely old,
For the reckless ones whose bad trip left them cold,
I wear the black in mournin' for the lives that could have been,
Each week we lose a hundred fine young men.

And, I wear it for the thousands who have died,
Believen' that the Lord was on their side,
I wear it for another hundred thousand who have died,
Believen' that we all were on their side.

Well, there's things that never will be right I know,
And things need changin' everywhere you go,
But 'til we start to make a move to make a few things right,
You'll never see me wear a suit of white.

Ah, I'd love to wear a rainbow every day,
And tell the world that everything's OK,
But I'll try to carry off a little darkness on my back,
'Till things are brighter, I'm the Man In Black.

 

[MAB1]

Goodun Major Danger.

 

[Widebrim]

Made me laugh out loud

This past winter, a female coworker saw me on the street in my peacoat and black Stetson Chatham. She looked me up and down.

"Are you a spy?" she asked.

I looked her up and down.

"Are you a hobo?" I countered, and walked on.

Priceless.

 

[Widebrim]

Typical obnoxious comment taken to a new high

Well, I've got one that is mentioned in the very first post, but given the situation in which it occurred, it takes on new dimensions of disrespect.

I'm a teacher at a "trendy" area of Los Angeles, where it is not unusual to see fathers wearing stingy brim hats, which makes this all the more odd. One day we were having some function in the auditorium, so picture an area fairly full of people. I was wearing, I believe, a blue, pin strip double breasted suit with a gray, felt hat. Out of nowhere, a parent says to me, "I didn't know they allowed gangsters to work as teachers here!" I was taken off guard, to say the least, and made some polite remark so as not to make a scene. Looking back in hindsight, I could have said something like, "No, but they allow idiots to be parents," but that might have put a blemish on my reputation, as well as provide an excuse for the principal to call me to her office...lol

 

[dhermann1]

Maybe a simple and withering "Is that supposed to be funny?" would have done the job.
The kids in my old neighborhood in Brooklyn used to say "Yo, Godfather" when I walked by in a fedora. I was never sure if it was meant to be a compliment or an insult or what.