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Fear of the feminine

PrettySquareGal

I'll Lock Up
Messages
4,003
Location
New England
scotrace said:
Personally, a ponytail pulled through the back of a ballcap is a look I consider to be very feminine and quite fascinating. It's rather like the rumpled man's shirt plucked from the floor and tugged on to make coffee thing.

I believe a woman makes the clothes, and not vice-versa. I'm a big believer in inner cosmetics. The externals are nice but they are a bonus.

I think Rita Hayworth would have been as equally stunning in jeans and a ball cap. It's the way she carried herself.
 

Fleur De Guerre

Call Me a Cab
Messages
2,056
Location
Walton on Thames, UK
jitterbugdoll said:
I have a sizable wardrobe of house
dresses, casual day dresses, skirts, and even
wide-legged slacks to choose from--it did take me a
while to collect them
, but every piece looks polished
and pulled together.

This is my main problem. I just don't have the wardrobe to look elegant every day, though I'm building it up slowly. I have no idea how long it will take me to get enough together so that I can look how I would like to look. I am saddled with the problem mentioned earlier in the thread whereby, if I do dress up, people ask why, and probably think I'm going to a job interview or something. Not the look I want to convey! I wonder daily how to start changing my look without people thinking I'm just trying to get attention. I'm not in a position to do it anyway, I'd run out of clothes in a few days :(
 

LizzieMaine

Bartender
Messages
33,760
Location
Where The Tourists Meet The Sea
PrettySquareGal said:
What restored movie theatre??? Maybe I need to take a road trip. :D

The Strand Theatre in Rockland ME -- http://www.rocklandstrand.com

I'm the projectionist and ticket-taker two days a week. We usually show current indie films, but also feature classics from time to time. We're hoping to get a new print of Gone With The Wind for the first anniversary of our reopening this July -- if it works out, we're planning to recreate the local 1940 premeire of the film, which should be a lot of fun.

I'm also active with our local film society, which puts on various events at the theatre -- we did a big Do for Oscar Weekend this past March...

lizoscar2.jpg


Come visit anytime!
 

Tin Pan Sally

Registered User
Messages
325
Location
Ahwatukee, Arizona, USA
PrettySquareGal said:
I believe a woman makes the clothes, and not vice-versa. I'm a big believer in inner cosmetics. The externals are nice but they are a bonus. I think Rita Hayworth would have been as equally stunning in jeans and a ball cap. It's the way she carried herself.
I agree, one doesn't have to put a lot of work into being female. I enjoy dressing it up and showing it off though. True femininity or masculinity will shine through no matter what one wears.
 

mysterygal

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Messages
2,667
Location
Washington
scotrace said:
Personally, a ponytail pulled through the back of a ballcap is a look I consider to be very feminine and quite fascinating. It's rather like the rumpled man's shirt plucked from the floor and tugged on to make coffee thing.
Yeah, but that's around the house, not a going out in public thing..I don't know what it is, but there's something nice about wearing a guys shirt to bed
 

Miss_Bella_Hell

My Mail is Forwarded Here
Messages
3,960
Location
Los Angeles, CA
jitterbugdoll said:
My hair is always done, my makeup always carefully
applied--in short--I am always very overdressed,
especially for ultra-casual Arizona.

Me too, for Massachusetts, though I suspect I'm overdressed just about everywhere. It's never bothered me though, and I never get snotty comments from strangers, just compliments and a lot of "you hair looks great" or "where'd you get that suit/dress/etc?" I love being a girl and I think that shows.

On a related note, my non-vintage girlfriends think it's hilarious that I wear stockings (they don't even wear them in the WINTER!) and girdles. I've always worn stockings. It's odd to me that some people DONT'!
 

Viola

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Messages
2,469
Location
NSW, AUS
I like to dress in a feminine way. I feel better when I KNOW I look good. I suspect some of it is for me and not particularly for anyone else, as I doubt anyone else pays that much attention to, say, my eyeshadow, unless its where its not supposed to be.

I don't think of myself as having an incredibly girly style though. I don't wear pink, or pastels, ever.

I do like to wear skirts, though. I'm not always comfortable with it because I am not always comfortable with comments from strangers. Sometimes its just easier to do my hair/makeup nice and just wear my "nice" jeans and boots, because people's reactions are different. I've never gotten a nasty comment from a random woman while wearing jeans.
 

Etienne

A-List Customer
Messages
473
Location
Northern California
This is a great thread! One of the things that kept going through my mind as I was reading the posts was, "Does it matter what someone else thinks about it"--that is, if we dress up and look nice? (It's sort of like apologizing for elevating your respect for others, yourself, and your surroundings.) There's always going to be some who like it, some who don't and some who don't care one way or another! I love being a woman, I love looking nice all the time! I am gradually turning the corner and beginning to wear skirts and dresses more often--because I like it! (AND I think we're due for a change--we certainly can't get any more casual!) With all of the focus on skirts right now, gypsy and otherwise, there are lots of ways to look feminine! Even in the forties these skirts were worn! (Think Carmen Miranda!) And for the most part, I think that when people are dressed well and look nice, they behave more graciously and respectfully--and in turn, they are given the same. If someone asked me why I was "dressed up" (which rarely occurs), I think I would just tell them that it makes me happy! (And I'm SO much nicer when I feel happy!)
 

PrettySquareGal

I'll Lock Up
Messages
4,003
Location
New England
LizzieMaine said:
The Strand Theatre in Rockland ME -- http://www.rocklandstrand.com

I'm the projectionist and ticket-taker two days a week. We usually show current indie films, but also feature classics from time to time. We're hoping to get a new print of Gone With The Wind for the first anniversary of our reopening this July -- if it works out, we're planning to recreate the local 1940 premeire of the film, which should be a lot of fun.

I'm also active with our local film society, which puts on various events at the theatre -- we did a big Do for Oscar Weekend this past March...

lizoscar2.jpg


Come visit anytime!


Thanks for the info! Sounds like a road trip for this summer!
 

Mrs. MK

New in Town
Messages
30
Location
Vancouver, WA
Showing respect by looking good

I appreciate the comments PicklePod05 and Mysterygal and the rest of you are making. Here's my two cents. I think making yourself look nice when you go out shows respect to others and helps you to feel good about you. I know it does that for me. And on the other hand, I think who you are is more important than what you look like. True beauty comes from the inside.
I love to dress up and wear make-up. I don't think it's necessary to spend a lot to look good. Some of the sloppy worn out clothes people wear are brand new and cost a fortune!
Lynn
 

mysterygal

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2,667
Location
Washington
Agreed, it's not what other's think of you, it's doing something for yourself that makes you feel good. If you're feeling awkward in your clothes, your not putting forth your best, and definetely not feeling your best, I tend to think of femininty as confidence in yourself, inside and out. People are drawn to that, but most importantly, your much happier with yourself as well.
 
P

Paul

Guest
I always think if someone criticise you in a unconstructive way either verbally or by looks, about the way you dress then that says more about them than you, most like it so in there nature they will do the same to every they see who in not dressed like them. That is their problem not yours.
If a lady worn trousers I hope I would not thinck of her as less feminine then a lady who wore a skirt with nice makeup because I would also be guilty of the for mentioned. It all comes down to personal choice .When that taken away I will give up!
 

mysterygal

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2,667
Location
Washington
we have no right to go up to someone and criticize them...although, there have been many times I wanted to take a girl aside and say, 'um, dear..let me take you shopping' :p There are types of dress that I wonder if some women realize what it's saying about them..the example that comes to mind is the low rider pants with the g-string undies hanging out...it's just not a good look for any woman...or the mid-drif shirts with a huge belly hanging out. I very much appreciate open criticism...in a constructive way of course.
 

LizzieMaine

Bartender
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33,760
Location
Where The Tourists Meet The Sea
mysterygal said:
There are types of dress that I wonder if some women realize what it's saying about them..the example that comes to mind is the low rider pants with the g-string undies hanging out...it's just not a good look for any woman...or the mid-drif shirts with a huge belly hanging out.

There is no woman on earth for whom that's a good look -- but walk thru any discount-type department store, and you'll see rack after rack of it. That's exactly why I haven't bought a pair of jeans in years, because it's just about impossible to find any that aren't cut way-down-to-here, and I really don't think the rest of the world needs to see my poor old middle-aged belly.

But I think there's a lot of women who simply don't care -- they'll buy what's put on the racks because that's what's there, and they can't be bothered to demand alternatives. Maybe if enough women *did* start making noise about it and refusing to buy unflattering cuts, the manufacturers and retailers might wise up -- but it's never going to happen as long as people keep buying the stuff.
 

scotrace

Head Bartender
Staff member
Messages
14,392
Location
Small Town Ohio, USA
mysterygal said:
..or the mid-drif shirts with a huge belly hanging out.

The famous "Muffin Top."
Low rise jeans with a chubby overhang of flesh peering out beneath a midriff-revealing shirt. Like a baked muffin that has poofed out over the top of the pan.
It's SO unattractive. It's not that the extra flesh is the bad thing. It's that it is forced up-and-over. Hard to imagine anything less flattering. I always think of Fred Sanford, with his pants swooping well underneath his belly.

Who on earth started it? Must have been a man with a really bizarre fetish.
muffin.jpg
 

mysterygal

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2,667
Location
Washington
It got started probably by someone like Britney Spears..So now all these teenagers want that same look, sadly though, they don't realize they don't have the body of Britney!
There's places to find regular cut, it's just not the norm you see in stores anymore. Just an opinion, but, I hate Walmart's adult clothes...but, since I'm so short, everywhere else I've shopped, all the jeans seemed like they were made for the super model type, so for kicks, tried Walmart, I've found that their jeans fit me perfectly...go figure [huh]
 

Trixie

One of the Regulars
Messages
105
Location
Nowhere
I'm a stay at home mom & I wear vintage or vintage inspired clothes daily. I wear a lot of dresses, just simple day dresses, nothing fancy. You wouldnt believe the comments I've gotten from people! Lots of very nice comments luckily. Things like You look great! I wish I could wear dresses. Where do you work? They always seem shocked when they find out I wear dresses without being forced to do so by a job.

Unfortunately I've gotten a lot of negative comments too. ALL from women! Most recently I had a woman practically attack me while I was at the school. She said I was weird for wearing dresses & people wouldnt talk to me because of it. She went on & on. It was absolutely bizarre. I decided I dont care if I make women feel inadequate in their sweats. They make the choice to wear sweats & baseball caps. I hate to sound rude but it's not like I'm wearing a tutu or something completely out of place. [huh]
 

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