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Clean Jokes

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GHT

I'll Lock Up
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9,846
Location
New Forest
"An elderly couple, who were both widowed, had been going out with each other for a long time.
Urged on by their friends, they decided it was finally time to get married.
Before the wedding they went out to dinner and had a long conversation regarding how their marriage might work.
They discussed finances, living arrangements, and so on.
Finally, the old gentleman decided it was time to broach the subject of their physical relationship.
"How do you feel about sex?" he asked, rather tentatively
"I would like it infrequently" she replied.
The old gentleman sat quietly for a moment ...
adjusted his glasses, and leaned over towards her and whispered
'Excuse me, but is that one word or two?"
 
Messages
13,025
Location
Germany
GDR-joke:

"Hey, nice to see you!"

"Hello, my friend."

"But why do you look so sad?"

"See, I got a new pair of sandals."

"But this is a reason for joy!"

"Nah, they cost 97,50 Mark.

"97,50 Mark, what the hell??"

"7,50 Mark and I used 90 Mark on gas."
 
Messages
12,032
Location
East of Los Angeles
NPjgCRt.jpg
 
Messages
13,025
Location
Germany
Reporter asks an 108 year old man:
"Whereon do you ascribe your high age to?"

"I cannot say, yet. I'm still debating with an herbal liquor-manufacturer and an oat flakes-manufacturer."
 
Messages
13,025
Location
Germany
The ward physician asks the fresh graduated nurse:

"Did you draw blood on patient Nr. 6?"

"Yes, of course. But I couldn't get more than six litres out of him!"

"o_O"
 
Messages
13,025
Location
Germany
In Hamburg, twelve students scored a new record! They positioned themselves under one umbrella, without getting wet!

The trial will be repeated next time, when it's raining.
 
Messages
13,025
Location
Germany
The host:
"Don't you think, my wife sings very well?"
Guest:
"Excuse me??"
Host:
"I said: "Don't you think, my wife sings extra well, today?"
Guest:
"I'm sorry, I didn't understand you again. This broad there in the back bawls so terrible loud."
 
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