You know you are getting old when:

[Trenchfriend]

"Touchscreen gloves". Ok...

 

[Edward]

I’ve worn spectacles since age 15, bifocals since age 30-something, and just a couple weeks ago I purchased three pairs of readers, so that there will likely always be a pair within reach of where I do most of my reading. I remind myself that my age-related complaints are as nothing in comparison to what so many people of my acquaintance have faced/are facing. And it’s not that I’m without my health challenges.

Got my first pair of reading glasses just recently. I'm good with middle-distance and long distance, spend my day in front of a computer or in a classroom, so no need for varifocals (at several times the price, no wonder opticians are keen to push them!). If I'm sitting down to read a newspaper or a book, though, I've recently often found I'm removing my glasses and holding it close to my face to see it clearly. Handily, if needsbe the readers are also good for middle-distance for me, so I can if I need to sit with them on and read / do the computer/ still function well enough to find my way around. Strang experience to 'suddenly' need them, though.

In my mid twenties my wife commented that when I focus on a distance object my bottom eyelids move inwards towards my nose, it was the best way to focus. She had me off to the opticians where I discovered that I had a very common, shortsighted problem.

A pair of specs, a considerable wad from my wallet, problem solved. The optician did say that as I age there would come a time when the microscopic shrinkage of my body would negate the need for glasses. The optician was right, only that shrinkage gave me about a year of being free of glasses. Now I need them for reading! It really does suck, this getting old malarkey.

I've worn glasses since I was ten in the classroom / cinema / for TV.... When I went to university, I started wearing them all the time. I'm short-sighted enough that while I could find my way home without them, I'd struggle to make sure I was on the right train / bus, with seeing the numbers / destinations. My eyesight has improved markedly since my late 20s, though I doubt I'll ever get to the point of being able to shed them for distance. If I could afford it, I'd have synthetic lenses implanted - a friend did it in his middle 50s, and will now have perfect vision for life. Snag is, it's about ten grand.... if I came into money, though.... Funny thing is, I love my glasses and I'd still wear them with a non-Rx lens if I didn't 'need' them any longer. It's being dependent on them that I dislike.

I have floaters, little specks that make their way across my field of vision, but I’ve learned to ignore them.

Yeah. I get those too if I'm over-tired. First happened in my late 20s, terrified me as I didn't know what it was and thought I was going to go blind!

Choose:

Grandpa - Pa - Son

Great, Great, Great Grandpa for me.

I long ago learned to ignore easy, flippant dismissals of health and safety hazards of the "my grandpa smoked two packs of Camels a day and died in his sleep at age 86" and "we never wore seatbelts and motorcycle helmets yet here we are" variety.

Yes, something is gonna get ya sooner or later. I'd rather it be later.

My favourite was always "If you wear safety gear, you're more likely to have an accident because you're preparing for it." Popular view among organ donors, I gather.

"Touchscreen gloves". Ok...

Mn. Never saw the point of them, myself - yes, it can register that you've touched the screen, but unless your phone is the size of an iPad, the glove is still going to make you far too clumsy for any sort of accuracy!

 

[GHT]

The scary thing about getting old is, you might have had two bypass surgeries, a hip replacement, new knees, have or had, diabetes. Without specs you can hardly see and you can't hear anything quieter than a jet engine. You can be on an array of pills and potions, have bouts of dementia, poor circulation and you can't even remember your age.
Thank goodness you still have your driver's licence.


Oh, and I nearly forgot:

 

[FOXTROT LAMONT]

The scary thing about getting old is, you might have had .... Oh, and I nearly forgot:

My dear sir, allow neither age, flatulence, nor other somatic malady to turn your self towards cynicism.
Best.

 

[GHT]

My dear sir, allow neither age, flatulence, nor other somatic malady to turn your self towards cynicism.
Best.

By and large I am not a cynic, I still have a love of life. Tomorrow I am off to see my tailor, he has a studio at Sandbanks, Dorset. This old man is going to be a model. My tailor wants me photographed wearing one of the blazers that he has made for me. You never know, I could end up on his website.

 

[FOXTROT LAMONT]

^ That's the spirit. As for myself, I sat thru Barbie. Never ever again of course. But what is done is over.

 

[KILO NOVEMBER]

The scary thing about getting old is, you might have had two bypass surgeries, a hip replacement, new knees, have or had, diabetes. Without specs you can hardly see and you can't hear anything quieter than a jet engine. You can be on an array of pills and potions, have bouts of dementia, poor circulation and you can't even remember your age.
Thank goodness you still have your driver's licence.


Oh, and I nearly forgot:
View attachment 545841

The hilarious Billy Connolly on the advice he received from an older gent on turning 60:

 

[Rmccamey]

A new blazer can hardly compare to one of Ms. Tina's fabulous creations!

By and large I am not a cynic, I still have a love of life. Tomorrow I am off to see my tailor, he has a studio at Sandbanks, Dorset. This old man is going to be a model. My tailor wants me photographed wearing one of the blazers that he has made for me. You never know, I could end up on his website.

 

[GHT]

A new blazer can hardly compare to one of Ms. Tina's fabulous creations!

What a kind compliment Randy, you are going to have the lady go all bashful. "Aw shucks," is probably all the response I will get, take that as her thank you.
It must be perceptive of you. Last night Tina showed me the beautiful slate grey fabric that she has bought recently, there's a pair of wide hemmed "baggies," or baggy trousers, in the pipeline. Watch this space.

 

[Trenchfriend]

Some day in the future I may end this way...

 

[Trenchfriend]

Apprenticeship to be a cuddle therapist...

 

[Trenchfriend]

"A sin of youth is, when you're young and missing it."

Erich Maria Remarque...

 

[Trenchfriend]

Choose mobile:

-2G (like me!)
-3G
-4G
-5G
or whatever G...

 

[Trenchfriend]

Standing in grocery store, looking for good old "pan (steel) scrapers".

"Scrubbing Spiral"...

 

[GHT]

You know you are getting old when you can remember having a crush on Sophia Loren. It was her birthday yesterday, she was 89.

Not a grey hair on her head.

 

[FOXTROT LAMONT]

You know you are getting old when you can remember having a crush on Sophia Loren. It was her birthday yesterday, she was 89.

View attachment 547493
Not a grey hair on her head.

I was born in 1976 and Sophia has always been a favourite. And Gina. Hunchback of Notre Dame, Gina is the
most beautiful girl I've ever seen.

 

[Trenchfriend]

Like my Mom's youth in the 70s. Gina L., Claudia C., Brigitte B., Sophia L. and so on...

 

[Trenchfriend]

Do you still use classic TV Teletext/Videotext?

 

[Turnip]

I do regularly, especially for local news, weather forecasts…

 

[Trenchfriend]

You all have to thank me, because I worked on the world's overpopulation today and ate three AMERIKANER, two for lunch and one later!

Of course the classic german white cookie without black.

I was really happy to see them, but then I missed the ammonium salt...