You know you are getting old when:

[FOXTROT LAMONT]

That's known as brain and body having a conflict of interests.

Sharp memory, instant recall. Things I've begun to notice-Grease is/was playing here West End, mental note made
but seemingly forgot. And something playing at the Garrick; again, scribbled but ''lost.''

 

[Edward]

When you realise in your youth you loved listening to loud music... and now you no longer listen to loud music, you just feel the bass.

 

[Alice Blue]

I just received a used paperback I was eagerly awaiting, and the pages seem to be filled with tiny ant footprints rather than writing. I would need a magnifying glass to read this book.

 

[Trenchfriend]

When you realise in your youth you loved listening to loud music... and now you no longer listen to loud music, you just feel the bass.

Ha, 1995 and the parodys...

Means "Besonders Laut !".

"Leise is Scheiße!"

 

[FOXTROT LAMONT]

I just received a used paperback I was eagerly awaiting, and the pages seem to be filled with tiny ant footprints rather than writing. I would need a magnifying glass to read this book.

Ms Alice, at least you are reading. I have to literally-pun not really intentional but I'll use, force myself on a page it
seems since university.

 

[tonyb]

I just received a used paperback I was eagerly awaiting, and the pages seem to be filled with tiny ant footprints rather than writing. I would need a magnifying glass to read this book.

I’ve worn spectacles since age 15, bifocals since age 30-something, and just a couple weeks ago I purchased three pairs of readers, so that there will likely always be a pair within reach of where I do most of my reading. I remind myself that my age-related complaints are as nothing in comparison to what so many people of my acquaintance have faced/are facing. And it’s not that I’m without my health challenges.

 

[Trenchfriend]

I always thought "Centershocks" must be training shoes...

 

[GHT]

I’ve worn spectacles since age 15, bifocals since age 30-something, and just a couple weeks ago I purchased three pairs of readers, so that there will likely always be a pair within reach of where I do most of my reading. I remind myself that my age-related complaints are as nothing in comparison to what so many people of my acquaintance have faced/are facing. And it’s not that I’m without my health challenges.

In my mid twenties my wife commented that when I focus on a distance object my bottom eyelids move inwards towards my nose, it was the best way to focus. She had me off to the opticians where I discovered that I had a very common, shortsighted problem.

A pair of specs, a considerable wad from my wallet, problem solved. The optician did say that as I age there would come a time when the microscopic shrinkage of my body would negate the need for glasses. The optician was right, only that shrinkage gave me about a year of being free of glasses. Now I need them for reading! It really does suck, this getting old malarkey.

 

[tonyb]

^^^^^^
I had a bout of uveitis going on 20 years ago. The treatment involved steroids (drops and injections, which sounds worse than it is) which resulted in cataracts which was itself addressed by an artificial intraocular lens which corrected the vision in that eye such that I no longer needed spectacles to drive legally. But I wear glasses anyway, because they correct my distance vision in the other eye and my near vision in both and I’ve grown accustomed to having those little windshields over my eyes. I feel not quite dressed without them. And modern specs, with plastic lenses, are considerably lighter and more comfortable than the glass lenses I had back when I first needed the things.

I have floaters, little specks that make their way across my field of vision, but I’ve learned to ignore them.

 

[Trenchfriend]

Choose:

Grandpa - Pa - Son

 

[GHT]

Did your grandma wear very short mini skirts, thin panties, high boots, and no bra?
Did she listen to Led Zeppelin, The Beatles, Janis Joplin, and the Rolling Stones?
Did she ride on motorcycles and fast cars?
Did she smoke tobacco and.............................other things?
Did she drink gin & tonics, whiskey, and whatever?
Did she arrive home at 4 a.m. and still leave for work in the morning?

Know that you will never be as cool as your grandma.

 

[FOXTROT LAMONT]

Holiday now and thru next week, too zapped insomnia and lifestyle, but London stayed put so playing horses
in Kentucky and California, keyboard at ready. Too lazy today to delve deeply the excellent equine empiricals
the Yanks maintain so just eyeing tote board and gauging the public perception for chasing money paid.
This practice is followed for stock-actual corporate issue and thoroughbreds.

 

[LizzieMaine]

Did your grandma wear very short mini skirts, thin panties, high boots, and no bra?
Did she listen to Led Zeppelin, The Beatles, Janis Joplin, and the Rolling Stones?
Did she ride on motorcycles and fast cars?
Did she smoke tobacco and.............................other things?
Did she drink gin & tonics, whiskey, and whatever?
Did she arrive home at 4 a.m. and still leave for work in the morning?

Know that you will never be as cool as your grandma.

My grandmother rolled her stockings down to her knees, smoked three packs of Pall Malls a day, and had her first heart attack at thirty-five.

 

[tonyb]

My grandmother rolled her stockings down to her knees, smoked three packs of Pall Malls a day, and had her first heart attack at thirty-five.

I long ago learned to ignore easy, flippant dismissals of health and safety hazards of the "my grandpa smoked two packs of Camels a day and died in his sleep at age 86" and "we never wore seatbelts and motorcycle helmets yet here we are" variety.

Yes, something is gonna get ya sooner or later. I'd rather it be later.

 

[Trenchfriend]

You name it!
I have a female classmate, born Dec. 1984, always let me think about exactly Janis Joplin. She was always full of life, hedonistic, superficial, powerfull, smokes cigarettes (but seemingly not much), is still trim with surely strong metabolism and is too exhausting for my taste. Which intelligent man would marry such?? Foxtrott-Uniform-Charlie-Kilo, absolutely! But marry, OMG!!

 

[AbbaDatDeHat]

You name it!
I have a female classmate, born Dec. 1984, always let me think about exactly Janis Joplin. She was always full of life, hedonistic, superficial, powerfull, smokes cigarettes (but seemingly not much), is still trim with surely strong metabolism and is too exhausting for my taste. Which intelligent man would marry such?? Foxtrott-Uniform-Charlie-Kilo, absolutely! But marry, OMG!!

Well….not Bobby McGee.
Maybe Johnny Holmes.
B

 

[FOXTROT LAMONT]

You name it!
I have a female classmate, born Dec. 1984, always let me think about exactly Janis Joplin. She was always full of life, hedonistic, superficial, powerfull, smokes cigarettes (but seemingly not much), is still trim with surely strong metabolism and is too exhausting for my taste. Which intelligent man would marry such?? Foxtrott-Uniform-Charlie-Kilo, absolutely! But marry, OMG!!

A stray alley cat you'd bell, but rather not take to heart, hearth, and herrings? Talk about skinning a cat.

 

[Trenchfriend]

A stray alley cat you'd bell, but rather not take to heart, hearth, and herrings? Talk about skinning a cat.

Please again in understandable English, thanks!

 

[FOXTROT LAMONT]

Please again in understandable English, thanks!

Virgess diese Katze Trenchfreund. Wir sehen uns im Leseforum.

 

[GHT]

Please again in understandable English, thanks!

There are many versions of this proverb, which suggests there are always several ways to do something.
Look up: "The Money Diggers," by Seba Smith.