What happened to admiration?

[Matt Deckard]

I was contemplating buying a Lexus IS 300 about a year ago so I borrowed a friends for a few days to see how I really liked the car. Yes I know it's a modern car and may not have some style, though I am young and not tied to vintage I like to look trendy now and again... Well I went to a party with several of my friends on the JPL scene a few of them openly had the "that's your car... but you're younger than me and i should obviously be making more" attitude. I decided against the upgrade in car.

I remember in the 80's when somone would see a Corvette people would look and stare and say nice car. I see many times now how people look at a nice car like a bently and people have the "what a jerk attitude and would just as soon scratch the car rather than compliment and admire the success.

nowadays my success ebbs and flows, though when I hit another flow I think it's time to get something that makes me feel at home behind the wheel...

So what's the deal? Is admiration waning? Any of you see this or is it just me?

 

[RedPop4]

We've become a bitter, envious society, in many cases. I think some of this is due to the "parasite generation" phenomenon. People think they deserve whatever everyone else has and damn those that do.

 

[mysterygal]

I agree, there's a change in our culture from, working hard and seeing the fruit of your success to having no pride in work ethic but still having the 'I deserve this' mentality

 

[Matt Deckard]

Yeah... I think envy is in vogue.

Parasites or not... That term in it's own right hits those who get the Benz from pops... though it's something I still admire. I don't know If I'll give my children the works, though i hope I'll be smart enought to teach them how to make their way to get what they want.

 

[mysterygal]

My kids are definetely work for their car. I don't want to teach them that things can just be handed to them. I people work hard for something, their going to treat it with much more care than if just given to them

 

[RedPop4]

I'm trying very hard to get my kids to understand the word 'no' and that they don't deserve everything they ask for. I get berated for it constantly, especially by one of the grandmothers who do what grandparents believe they should do.

I used the word parasite to tie this to the other thread we had going in here earlier. IF my kids are given vehicles, the first one will be my truck which will be 20 years old by the time my older one reaches driving age in 8 years. LOLlol lol lol lol

 

[Feraud]

It is a real shame when someone cannot give a compliment. Our society is very lazy and coupled a sense of entitlement.
No one wants to go the extra mile for any reason yet openly justify why they deserve any expensive item.
I think admiration has been corrupted by insecurity and selfishness.

 

[Rosie]

I'll have to agree with you guys on this

I'll sometimes hear comments about how "lucky" I am that I can afford... or how I'm lucky I have a good job. I have to answer, luck has nothing to do with it, I've worked hard and conitnue to work hard so that I can have a decent present and a hopefully better future.

Some people just have this awful sense of entitlement and seem to not like it if others are better off than they are. It's sad

 

[scotrace]

There's an element of sensitivity, too

A friend who owned a very successful brick making company in a tiny town could have bought a Bentley for every day of the week, but he never stepped above a Buick for fear of seeming to rub it in people's faces.

If you live in a suburb of Allentown PA, and all the pickups have "Live Union or Die" bumper stickers, it may be best to avoid conspicuous motorcar consumption.

However, if you live in a suburb of Hartford, CT, who cares?

I tend to see others who have really wonderful things as a reason to renew my determination to win the game. Wow... sweet car. Congratulations!

But it's true. Many people today seem to have a problem with encouraging success in others.

 

[Barry]

I tend to see others who have really wonderful things as a reason to renew my determination to win the game. Wow... sweet car. Congratulations!

But it's true. Many people today seem to have a problem with encouraging success in others.

I think it is even worse sometimes when it happens between friends. Reminds me of that old song by Morrissey: "We hate it when our friends become successful."

A portion of the song:

We hate it when our friends become successful
And if they're Northern, that makes it even worse
And if we can destroy them
You bet your life we will
Destroy them
If we can hurt them
Well, we may as well ...
It's really laughable
Ha, ha, ha ...

You see, it should've been me
It could've been me
Everybody knows
Everybody says so...

 

[jamespowers]

So what's the deal? Is admiration waning? Any of you see this or is it just me?

One word jealousy. People just can feel good that some is doing well. It all revolves around them. They worry that someone might have fifty cents more than they do.
Just do what I do. Get on with your life and do what you want. There will always be jealous naysayers. If they make remarks then they are off the Christmas and friend list. Life is too short to be surrounded by negative people who are always looking for the next chance to nitpick and stick their nose where it doesn't belong. Shut the door on their nose.

Regards,

J

 

[Matt Deckard]

One word jealousy. People just can feel good that some is doing well. It all revolves around them. They worry that someone might have fifty cents more than they do.
Just do what I do. Get on with your life and do what you want. There will always be jealous naysayers. If they make remarks then they are off the Christmas and friend list. Life is too short to be surrounded by negative people who are always looking for the next chance to nitpick and stick their nose where it doesn't belong. Shut the door on their nose.

Regards,

J

Do you have 50 cents more than I? We'll have to talk about this at the Queen Mary!

 

[Jack Scorpion]

I can't say I'm struck by envy. If someone younger than me gets a brand new car, I'd attribute it to rich parents (I'm 21) - and I don't offer any admiration to the child of a rich parent for having money (The parents, sure, but, you know, I never got an allowance or anything. Parents should make their kids earn their own). If they earned the money themselves, then sure, they deserve it. I wouldn't look bad at them in any way.

I however have a weirdness about me. I don't want a nice-looking car, especially in the next few years of my life. I have friends that live in questionable neighborhoods, I love city-exploring, and I know that a nice looking car, especially driven by a whiteboy, will attract the worst kind of attention in a large percentage of most cities. I don't want to get pointed at as I go down the street. Fitting in in Beverly Hills has never fit into my day dreams.

Suburb life is probably a whole different world I imagine.

 

[Paisley]

I'm not sure if people's hearts are any purer than they used to be. I think people might have demanded better of themselves than unabashed jealousy or Schadenfreude.

I'm generally not a jealous person, but I'm not immune to it. If someone is smarter or funnier or more talented than I, I try to enjoy their talent. If someone has a better job, I remind myself that my own job suits me very well, and that they may be making sacrifices that I wouldn't want to make. But if someone has a bigger house or fancier car, I just don't care--I wouldn't want the big payments or the upkeep.

 

[Matt Deckard]

I think it's better to push on and strive to be the better self and not look up and wonder why I'm not at that point, or how i can get that away from them and put it in my hands. Yes i want success. I want to study how others have achieved success... I can always do a little bit better, be a little more understanding. Learn what I did wrong and not make the same mistake again, over and over again as i have done in the past.

I admire those that I see with the things in their life that I want as those from which I can learn. I get caught up in pettynes now and again myself though without the self diognostic of being able to see that weakness in myself i myself will not be able to push ahead.

 

[Vladimir Berkov]

I think a lot depends on the person driving the car and what kind of car it is exactly.

With a IS 300 I don't really understand people getting put-out about it. It is just a normal car. Now, things like Vipers, Lambos, etc I can understand it a bit more. But that is mainly not because of the car, but because of the drivers who often pick those kind of cars.

I don't have a whole lot of respect for people who buy cars as an attempt to impress other people.

 

[jamespowers]

Do you have 50 cents more than I? We'll have to talk about this at the Queen Mary!

Hahahahahh! I'll give you the fifty cents so we are even.

Regards,

J

 

[jamespowers]

I can't say I'm struck by envy. If someone younger than me gets a brand new car, I'd attribute it to rich parents (I'm 21) - and I don't offer any admiration to the child of a rich parent for having money (The parents, sure, but, you know, I never got an allowance or anything. Parents should make their kids earn their own). If they earned the money themselves, then sure, they deserve it. I wouldn't look bad at them in any way.

I am not quite sure I understand this. I went to high school with a guy that drove a black Ferrari every day. It never crossed my mind that his parents were giving him an unfair advantage over me. All I was interested in is getting a ride once in a while.
The world is inherently unfair and you really have to get used to it. Someone is always smarter faster or better than you in/at something. I find that concentrating on being good at something yourself leaves little time to worry about the "advantages" others have over you.

Regards,

J

P.S. Do you know it costs $10,000 to tune up a Ferrari!?

 

[PrettySquareGal]

I am not quite sure I understand this. I went to high school with a guy that drove a black Ferrari every day. It never crossed my mind that his parents were giving him an unfair advantage over me. All I was interested in is getting a ride once in a while.
The world is inherently unfair and you really have to get used to it. Someone is always smarter faster or better than you in/at something. I find that concentrating on being good at something yourself leaves little time to worry about the "advantages" others have over you.

Regards,

J

P.S. Do you know it costs $10,000 to tune up a Ferrari!?

I understand it and agree with him. I went to a prep school with the children of millionaires. They had limo rides to school. I had a bus pass (I was a scholarship kid). They didn't merit those things more than I did, nor did it make them any more worthy. But did they have more advantages? Absolutely! I think it's naive to think otherwise.

Now, talking about impressions...if I see a young kid riding an expensive car, I assume his or her parents helped them out with it. If I see a 25 year old, maybe they are a trust fund kid, or maybe they earned it. But really, you can't discern character based upon those kinds of externals. That doesn't mean you can't think "Ooooh, nice ride!"

 

[LolitaHaze]

The lack of polite admiration doesn't just stay with "things". I have found that as a Burlesque dancer (and go-go dancer) that some people just can't handle the spotlight being on anyone but them. You can always tell who they are because they will do one of two things... they either stand in a corner with a look on their face that is really similar to having smelled dog poo on the shoe or they will try to "out dance" you. Not just dance and have a good time, but they try to out sex (appeal) you. It only makes them look foolish, because it is obvious what they are trying to do. It is almost like they are determined not to enjoy themselves.