What happened to admiration?

[jamespowers]

The lack of polite admiration doesn't just stay with "things". I have found that as a Burlesque dancer (and go-go dancer) that some people just can't handle the spotlight being on anyone but them. You can always tell who they are because they will do one of two things... they either stand in a corner with a look on their face that is really similar to having smelled dog poo on the shoe or they will try to "out dance" you. Not just dance and have a good time, but they try to out sex (appeal) you. It only makes them look foolish, because it is obvious what they are trying to do. It is almost like they are determined not to enjoy themselves.

That actually explains Christina Aguilara and Britney Spears---to name a few. lol

Regards,

J

 

[Senator Jack]

There are some cars that just say 'jerk'. Can't help it, that's what it is.

Let's take a look at the Corvette.

50s Corvettes are inherently cool and just by association, so are the owners. Till you meet one, and then you can pass judgment. Most of them know the car, can fix the car themselves, but yes, you do meet a few rich SOB's that just bought the car as an investment or 'toy'. (I hate when someone says that about the pony. I'm not a rich SOB with a toy - it's my car and my only car.)

Then there are the 60s Corvettes, and these scream 'toy'. Don't know what it is about them, but I meet few really cool 60s Corvette owners.

Then we get to the 70s Corvettes. When these first came out, the guys who drove them were jerks, but the guys who are rebuilding them now are considered cool. Again, don't know why.

80s Corvettes to 2006: Jerks, and usually jerks with moustaches who like to drag race against Ferraris on very busy thoroughfares. (like the two guys who wound up killing another motorist out on Long Island.)

Other cars:

Mercedes: always considered cool - even today's models. No one will think you a jerk. Makes the rich SOBs seem less SOBish.

Lexus: Jerk. Period.

Infiniti: See above

Audi: Any model - People won't judge you to be cool or uncool.

Redesigned Thunderbird - a tough call. Driven by men in their 50s with the kids out of the house. You have to wear a green trenchcoat and a GAP baseball hat to drive one. (The outfit seems to come with the car.) If it had not instantly been bought up by the old man banker crowd, it would have been a cool car. Will be a cool car when the old man banker crowd starts to sell them off.


Regards,

Senator Jack

 

[Lincsong]

Who's going to be the richest in the graveyard?

It's all jealousy, frugalness and ignorance.

A lot of people see someone with something nice and the first thing in their pea head is; "where did he get the money for that?" or "how much did that cost?" In certain communities of "golden agers" they have so much jealousy in themselves that they moan and groan about everything. :eusa_booh I have neighbors where if they see someone with a new car, remodeling the kitchen or bathroom, building an addition they immediately try to find something wrong with it. "Oh that addition is too big, it doesn't fit with the character of the neighborhood". "why is he wearing a suit and tie?" Most of these busybodies have coffee cans full of money buried in the backyard and are all in a race to be the richest guy in the graveyard. To put it simply it's no one's business how big someone builds their house. Good fences make the best neighbors. You would think the busybody was paying for it himself. Basically its a mental disorder; when they see the guy down the street with a bigger house than theirs it's just a painful reminder of their own inadequacies.

 

[Benny Holiday]

I don't know what things are like economically at the 'street level' over there in the States, but here in Australia, especially Sydney, the standard of living has been slipping further and further over the last decade. Perhaps, a lot of the erosion of admiration here has to do with the unconscious realisation that the gap between the 'haves' and 'have nots' is growing larger.

I say unconscious because, until recently, the average Sydneysider still thought he was living in the land of milk and honey. Sure, housing prices have been through the roof for 15 years, but interest rates have been low for some time. Gradually, though, prices have gone creeping up, from groceries to clothes to the cost of going to the movies. (Except for petroleum, which has been shooting through the roof this last year and half). Now, at the same time, inflation has been supposedly low. How does that work? Simply, wages have not gone up to compensate for all the increase in the cost of goods and services.

Families are feeling the strain, and a lot of medium to low wage earners are becoming more and more resentful of those who flaunt their status symbols before all and sundry. I'm not trying to justify the 'decline' of admiration, it's just one of the reasons I can see people becoming more resentful of those who are seen as the 'well-to-do' in this city. A simple observation, if you will.

 

[Sefton]

If someone has something nice that happens to be something that I can't afford I'm happy to give a compliment...unless they cop an attitude that they are inherently better than me and everyone else simply because they can afford the goods. Everyone wants to be rich, but they don't want to acknowledge that it (usually) takes a lot of hard work and talent to get there.

 

[Tin Pan Sally]

I don't know what things are like economically at the 'street level' over there in the States, but here in Australia, especially Sydney, the standard of living has been slipping further and further over the last decade. Perhaps, a lot of the erosion of admiration here has to do with the unconscious realisation that the gap between the 'haves' and 'have nots' is growing larger.I say unconscious because, until recently, the average Sydneysider still thought he was living in the land of milk and honey. Sure, housing prices have been through the roof for 15 years, but interest rates have been low for some time. Gradually, though, prices have gone creeping up, from groceries to clothes to the cost of going to the movies. (Except for petroleum, which has been shooting through the roof this last year and half). Now, at the same time, inflation has been supposedly low. How does that work? Simply, wages have not gone up to compensate for all the increase in the cost of goods and services.Families are feeling the strain, and a lot of medium to low wage earners are becoming more and more resentful of those who flaunt their status symbols before all and sundry. I'm not trying to justify the 'decline' of admiration, it's just one of the reasons I can see people becoming more resentful of those who are seen as the 'well-to-do' in this city. A simple observation, if you will.

You may be right. The provider(s) for an average middle class family in America doesn't have a pension plan anymore, and can't afford to put enough into a 401K to retire comfortably.

 

[Paisley]

There are some cars that just say 'jerk'. Can't help it, that's what it is.

Let's take a look at the Corvette.

50s Corvettes are inherently cool and just by association, so are the owners. Till you meet one, and then you can pass judgment. Most of them know the car, can fix the car themselves, but yes, you do meet a few rich SOB's that just bought the car as an investment or 'toy'. (I hate when someone says that about the pony. I'm not a rich SOB with a toy - it's my car and my only car.)

Then there are the 60s Corvettes, and these scream 'toy'. Don't know what it is about them, but I meet few really cool 60s Corvette owners.

Then we get to the 70s Corvettes. When these first came out, the guys who drove them were jerks, but the guys who are rebuilding them now are considered cool. Again, don't know why.

80s Corvettes to 2006: Jerks, and usually jerks with moustaches who like to drag race against Ferraris on very busy thoroughfares. (like the two guys who wound up killing another motorist out on Long Island.)

Other cars:

Mercedes: always considered cool - even today's models. No one will think you a jerk. Makes the rich SOBs seem less SOBish.

Lexus: Jerk. Period.

Infiniti: See above

Audi: Any model - People won't judge you to be cool or uncool.

Redesigned Thunderbird - a tough call. Driven by men in their 50s with the kids out of the house. You have to wear a green trenchcoat and a GAP baseball hat to drive one. (The outfit seems to come with the car.) If it had not instantly been bought up by the old man banker crowd, it would have been a cool car. Will be a cool car when the old man banker crowd starts to sell them off.


Regards,

Senator Jack

Many of my coworkers are, I suspect, very well off, yet don't talk about their stuff. I've worked here for three years, but I know what only a few of them drive.

One partner drives a new Corvette. I know this because he has been kind enough to offer me a ride home a few times when I worked late and we were leaving at the same time (I ride the bus to work). He said he'd wanted a Corvette since they came out when he was a kid. I think a jerk would have let me ride the bus.

Another coworker drives a Lexus. (A friend told me how nice her car looked, and what kind it was.) I've never, ever, seen her be a jerk to anyone.

Both of them have always been kind, considerate and professional. You aren't what you drive.

 

[Senator Jack]

To clarfiy my statements about presumed demeanor of car owners:

Certainly not everyone who drives a certain type of car is going to be a jerk, but it can't be gainsaid that the public presupposes an individual based on things such as dress, car, and even hairstyle. To whit, what does one automatically think about a man sporting a mullet or a rat-tail?

I can only go by experience on this one. For the last seven years I've owned a vintage Mustang. I've put a lot of work into the car. I don't have a lot of money - I don't even own my own house - but people tend to presume I have money because the car looks expensive. It doesn't matter that the car isn't as expensive as your typical SUV, they just presume it is expensive and that it is my 'toy'. Again, I don't have another car, this one is my daily driver, and I drive it because I happen to like the car. Certainly, the comments I get bother me, but unless I sell the car, I have to bear those comments.

Thus, presupposition should be taken into consideration whenever anyone considers buying/wearing anything that can be judged, because though we can say that a person isn't their car, or clothes, or even job, the fact is, it's all these facets that do let us make snap judgments about people. And it's been proven by behaviorists that people decide if they like or dislike someone within fifteen seconds. No, a man not be your typical mullet wearing man, but if he considers getting a mullet because he likes it, he's going to have to realize that he's going to get the same comments as his similarly tressed brethren. A woman might have inherited her great-grandmother's mink, and she may think it glamourous to wear it, but in today's world she must understand that she will be thought an insensitive jerk for wearing it. I'm not sure the question of admiration and jealosy comes into play here. It's more likely that we, as humans, can't shake the habit of stereotyping each other.

Regards,

Senator Jack

 

[Twitch]

I've always been a connoisseur of fine automobiles endowed with performance and comfort. I have enjoyed many a drive in a high performance car on lovely days. I've sped and slid through turns and simply relaxed in the comfort cocoon my vehicle offered.

I have never ever been insecure in my vehicle choices to the point of giving half a damn of what anyone else thinks of my car. In Southern California a Lexus is a nothing, blend-in car compared to the exotica and expensive you'll see on the roads.

Buy what you deserve. If you deserve a nice Lexus, by all means, obtain one. If you think less of yourself then rattle around in some obtuse grungemobile. Assigning personality types to auto owners is arcane and childish. If you suddenly change and conduct yourself like an unsimpathetic snob simply because of the car you drive then your shallowness is frightening.

You're a good person and deserve to be happy and comfortable if a Lexus suits your fancy.

 

[jamespowers]

It's all jealousy, frugalness and ignorance.

A lot of people see someone with something nice and the first thing in their pea head is; "where did he get the money for that?" or "how much did that cost?" In certain communities of "golden agers" they have so much jealousy in themselves that they moan and groan about everything. :eusa_booh I have neighbors where if they see someone with a new car, remodeling the kitchen or bathroom, building an addition they immediately try to find something wrong with it. "Oh that addition is too big, it doesn't fit with the character of the neighborhood". "why is he wearing a suit and tie?" Most of these busybodies have coffee cans full of money buried in the backyard and are all in a race to be the richest guy in the graveyard. To put it simply it's no one's business how big someone builds their house. Good fences make the best neighbors. You would think the busybody was paying for it himself. Basically its a mental disorder; when they see the guy down the street with a bigger house than theirs it's just a painful reminder of their own inadequacies.

Amen! Simply, we need a lot more Horatio Alger and a lot less Stalin.

Regards to all,

J

 

[Paisley]

For all I know, the person behind the wheel of a Lexus or Ferrari is taking his boss's car to the car wash.

 

[Matt Deckard]

But I wasn't... I swear!

 

[V.C. Brunswick]

Sometime last year I remember a rather disturbing news story that came in the wake of the AIG bonus scandal. It seems that many of the trendy or upscale stores were now offering plain bags to their customers instead of the usual fancy ones emblazoned with their logo because it was making the customers a target for harassment and even physical assault by irate people who had perhaps lost their jobs or their homes to foreclosure.

 

[Jennifer Lynn]

I remember a few years back I made the mistake of hesitating to befriend someone because they had flashier wares (car, clothes, etc) than I and happened to be "from money", as other friends put it. I did get to know this person, and learned that not everyone who makes good money or comes from a wealthy family intends to be flashy; some simply desire comfort and high-end quality, and end up picking the pricier good because it fits what they want.

I say if you have the money (or not), go for what you want and be proud of what you chose to buy.

 

[LizzieMaine]

I got no problem with someone driving a fine, expensive car -- as long as they don't use it to cut me off in a parking lot. Then we got problems.

 

[Undertow]

I must say I don't believe people's reactions are necessarily jealousy; in fact, I would suppose you may only run into 30% or fewer that were actually jealous. I think if anything, there has been a shift in the way people perceive certain durable goods and their owners.

At one time, owning a nice car COULD mean you worked hard for your reward. But consider those were the years when a "career" meant something (now you're hired and fired on a whim), and a "college degree" wasn't just a piece of paper (because nearly any stooge can sit through classes long enough to get their BA in English...I should know).

Also, consider that within the last 2 years people have actually started struggling with basic aspects of life; i.e. buying milk, bread, paying rent, getting gas, etc.

In all, I would say it's not always jealousy, but perhaps just anger when they see some corporate hot-shot driving around in a car that cost more than 8 years rent. Hey, who's to say they're not jumping to conclusions? Maybe that's the case. But in this day and age, when the population is flooded with the newest, latest and greatest, when a $1000 computer is junk in three months, when a $500 iPhone is a must just to gel with the rest of the world, it might not be jealousy - it might be fatigue. [huh]

 

[Foofoogal]

fftopic:

this thread just makes me miss Twitch.

 

[nobodyspecial]

A few random thoughts in no particular order.
Nobody deserves a Lexus, or any other consumer good for that matter, you can afford one or you can't. If you want one and have the money, buy one. Some people will be jealous, some will be envious and most just won't care.

The most annoying types are not those who drive expensive cars (or live in big homes or whatever), but are those who talk constantly about their expensive car or big home or boat or whatever. The people most comfortable with their wealth don't spend a lot of time talking about it in general conversation.

Good fences do not make the best neighbors. The best neighbors are people you know well and care about and they care about you. People you will help out when they are in a jam or will help you out as needed.

 

[23SkidooWithYou]

This reminded me of something....

I was in my twenties and working as a sales girl in the fine jewelry department of a local store. A local kid had made good in the football world and was on his way to bigger and better things. I guess the offers were coming in, contracts signed and life for the family was changing. His Mother, a beautiful woman inside and out, came to my counter wearing a gorgeous fur coat and matching hat. (This is NOT about fur...please don't get sidetracked.) I squealed and probably said something really profound like, "Oh my gawd! Your coat is stunning. I am so jealous." This beautiful woman stopped me and said, "Honey, don't say that. Never say your jealous." She went on to explain that when she was raising her sons, she was cleaning houses and doing people's laundry to make money any way she could to keep them housed and fed. She said things were so tight that she even pressed soap scraps together to reuse. She went on, "When I would see a lady in a fine fur coat, I would tell her how pretty she looked and then I'd ask God...Someday Lord, let me be as fortunate."


I don't think jealousy bothers me as much as judgement. If I'm the one working for it, it's nobody's place to imply I shouldn't have it based on gender, age, or financial status. I find that those who can easily afford luxury items, seldom criticize others for enjoying the same. It's usually the people who maxed out the credit cards and live pay check to pay check and are still borrowing money from their parents that seem to resent when others have the same things.

It's also sad that there are such self centered people in this world. When someone pulls up in a new car, the moment is about them. Congrats, nice wheels, you are styling in this baby. But the self centered only ever experience the moment in terms of themselves "Why does he have that and I don't". The inability to pay a compliment just makes them all the poorer!

 

[sixties.nut]

There's that New Math poppin up again. LOL

Hahahahahh! I'll give you the fifty cents so we are even.

Regards,

J

Matt, admiration is still alive and well, if your personal economy is up to it, I'd say go for it. But first I'd look around and see if I could 'borrow' one of my buddies A4 or S40's before I plunked down on a Lexis...


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don't mind me, I drive a ten year old Jeep