was I unrefined?

[armod]

I was in a situation today where I wasn't sure whether to remove my hat or not.

it was at a cafe at a marina at an outdoor table. I was drinking coffee and smoking a cigar (not eating). the tables around me were all empty and the only other occupied tables were in a seperate section of the outdoor area.

the tables weren't formal in any way (knee height with bench seats), and I was by myself.


I just wasn't sure what the rule would be there so I kept it on because the shade wasn't doing a great deal

 

[LordBest]

As I understand it, if you are outside, you may keep your hat on. Even if dining.

 

[Spats McGee]

Informal, outdoor, marina . . . I'd say that it was OK to keep the hat on.

 

[Carlisle Blues]

You will inherently know when to remove your hat ... chances are you will feel uncomfortable if you don't.

 

[Goose.]

As stated by the other gentlemen, no harm. No foul.

 

[Anachronism]

also, keep in mind, a hat outside on a sunny day is a little extra insurance against sunburn and skin cancer. Having watched someone battle skin cancer before, I would strongly recommend *anything* that helps prevent it.

 

[Dewhurst]

If it is a situation where you would keep your jacket or coat on (in that weather) then hats are a go.

You have to remember, much of hat etiquette comes from very different times. Hats were once ubiquitous, with accomodation being the same, and many points of etiquette assume such a fact.

 

[Carlisle Blues]

You have to remember, much of hat etiquette comes from very different times. Hats were once ubiquitous, with accomodation being the same, and many points of etiquette assume such a fact.

Excellent point.. I went out to brunch recently and the coat check asked me if I wanted to leave my hat. NO WAYYYYYYYYYYY the person looked like as if they were going to pounce my little hat.

No place to put it except my head. Got great compliments and my hat was not harmed. lol lol lol

In another era this would have been totally unacceptable. :kick:

 

[Pduck]

I would say that you were right to leave your hat on, but wrong to smoke a cigar where food was being served. Even though you were outside, the smoke may disturb some diners.

But that's just me.

 

[patrick1987]

Keep hat on. You don't want it to blow away, do you? Keep cigar lit. Enjoy your meal.

 

[Not-Bogart13]

I am the sort that thinks eating with a lid on is rude. However, outdoor situations like that fall into a different category. It's almost like being at a BBQ.

So, from one who is offended by eating with a lid on - You made the right call.

 

[reetpleat]

I am the sort that thinks eating with a lid on is rude. However, outdoor situations like that fall into a different category. It's almost like being at a BBQ.

So, from one who is offended by eating with a lid on - You made the right call.

And since thee is no one around you, it doesn't make much difference anyway. If you are alone, manners do not have any meaning.

 

[univibe88]

Excellent point.. I went out to brunch recently and the coat check asked me if I wanted to leave my hat. NO WAYYYYYYYYYYY the person looked like as if they were going to pounce my little hat.

At least they asked. I recently went to dinner and the hostess asked to take my wife's coat but didn't even ask if she could take my hat.

 

[Sargon]

If I'm not mistaken even indoors it is acceptable to leave the lid on while eating if you happen to be at a lunch counter.

 

[Chinaski]

I thought I'd jump into the fray with my first post to the Lounge!

It seems there are two answers at work here: there is the proper, written, hat-wearing etiquette rule, that hasn't wavered through changing social mores and times.

Secondly, there is what happens in actual practice in different places and situations. My guess is this is where it can get confusing. There are probably places where local custom dictates removing a hat even though "the written rule" says it's not necessary, and vice-versa - places where standards have relaxed, so to speak, with regard to the written rule.

Sounds to me like you did alright in the situation you were in.

 

[Mike in Seattle]

And since thee is no one around you, it doesn't make much difference anyway. If you are alone, manners do not have any meaning.

I'd have to disagree...courteously and respectfully, Reet. I think following etiquette, manners and other rules of society definitely apply and perhaps show more about the person when they still follow or at least consider their implications even if they are alone. Should one do the right thing and act properly only if others are watching or present to witness said behavior? Or should I act properly because it is, in and of itself, the right thing to do?

I think it shows that the original poster was a well-mannered gentleman for even considering the issue when he was outside, alone, seated in a completely different section than any other diners.

 

[The Lark]

Sometimes I will keep my hat on even when I know its appropriate to take it off, usually at parties or when I'm at university. These days, a good hat is outlandish enough to almost always be seen as an affectation when worn by a young person so I figure may as well milk it for all its worth.

 

[armod]

I think it shows that the original poster was a well-mannered gentleman for even considering the issue when he was outside, alone, seated in a completely different section than any other diners.

thanks mike. I try to be well mannered but don't always know the proper or correct way to go about everything.

I got a copy of emily post's etiquette from the library. I only have two weeks to read it though :eusa_doh:

may as well milk it for all its worth.

I did that later when a motor yacht pulled into the marina and I helped them tie off their docking lines as I finished my cigar.

people kept asking me if it was my boat.

 

[Belegnole]

I was in a situation today where I wasn't sure whether to remove my hat or not.

it was at a cafe at a marina at an outdoor table. I was drinking coffee and smoking a cigar (not eating). the tables around me were all empty and the only other occupied tables were in a seperate section of the outdoor area.

the tables weren't formal in any way (knee height with bench seats), and I was by myself.


I just wasn't sure what the rule would be there so I kept it on because the shade wasn't doing a great deal

I can understand why you ask. While the rules of etiquette have changed with the times. Some of us like or prefer those of the past or those of a more "polite" time. To truly answer your question we would need a few more details. For instance, I was taught hat rules throughout my life and some at a very early age so though I'm not an expert I sure had a few things crammed into my head. For instance one thing I remember from early on and from the military is that the inside outside rule has variations. With places like restaurants outside dining may be considered within the restaurant when considering whether to wear a hat or not. Just because there is no roof does not mean that you are not within the bounds of the business. So, you could consider it like your inside and remove your hat. On the other hand you mentioned it was very casual. This would sound more like being in a Diner, in which you would not remove your hat if at the bar, but would if in a booth (some debate there). Also when dining outside is there an umbrella at the table etc, etc, etc.....

With what you mentioned I may have left my hat on....BUT I can see why you would have debated taking it off. Great question.

 

[St.Ignatz]

Over thinking, it's not just for college students anymore.

Let's review. You're outside drinking coffee while smoking a cigar in the daytime with no one else around. Hmm. Unless the hat is making you sweat or doesn't keep the sun from your eyes then wear it. Whats the big whoop? Relax and enjoy the marina.