The Calendar Is Ticking

[LostInTyme]

The calendar is ticking,
and the clock is winding down.
The end of a long road,
is ever nearer.
The light at the end of the tunnel,
has begun to fade.

My bones, once strong,
have become thin and brittle.
My once supple skin,
is now wrinkled and spotted.
A falling leaf,
can cut me to ribbons.
What hair remains,
is grey or snow white.

Once I was strong and muscular,
now I am weak and bent,
and every joint screams in pain.

My sight is fading,
My hearing is waning,
Hums and buzzes are my constant.

How cruel, aging treats us.
My mind, is ever brighter
more electric then I have known before.
It makes me think of things,
yet to do, but out of reach,
in the remaining time.

​

 

[GHT]

 

[tonyb]

No Pollyannas here, eh?

 

[belfastboy]

No Pollyannas here, eh?

she dead!

 

[belfastboy]

No Pollyannas here, eh?

My older sister (3 years older at 78) just died, complications of vascular dementia which she had been dealing with for 8 years. The worst phase was the first 4 years when she was aware of what was happening, aware of what the future held for her, it was having the experience of witnessing her own death, in small increments, each passing day.

This sobering experience has a way of beating the snot out of any silly Pollyanna induced notions about life in its end phase.

 

[tonyb]

A favorite uncle died at a quite advanced age a couple years ago. The proximate cause of death was renal failure, I think, but he had been struggling with vascular dementia for a couple-three or four years prior. The last time we talked, maybe a month before he died, he was still kinda present, but only kinda.

I confess that dementia of any kind frightens me. I know of no one of my biological heritage who had it, but then, many of them shuffled off before a typical age of onset.

 

[belfastboy]

A favorite uncle died at a quite advanced age a couple years ago. The proximate cause of death was renal failure, I think, but he had been struggling with vascular dementia for a couple-three or four years prior. The last time we talked, maybe a month before he died, he was still kinda present, but only kinda.

I confess that dementia of any kind frightens me. I know of no one of my biological heritage who had it, but then, many of them shuffled off before a typical age of onset.

I know you can get tested for the gene that predisposes one to dementia but I don't wanna know. My buddy's symptoms started in his mid 50's and his wife late 60's. Life's crap shoot.

 

[Tiki Tom]

My mother-in-law died two weeks ago in our home. She was just shy of 90, the breast cancer had returned with a vengeance. She decided not to fight it. She died with her two daughters holding her hand. Her body was an absolute wreck, she could no longer walk or do simple things, but her mind was as sharp as ever. Pain was not an issue as the good Hospice people (Saints!) had her well medicated, but not over medicated. She saw the end coming, yet I have never seen anyone die with such bravery and dignity. A lifelong religious woman, she calmly welcomed death.

I never before saw anything like it. My family always handled death in a mad, frantic panic. Denial and chaos were the name of the game. My wife’s family handled it completely differently. I have learned something.

I figure that I’m next up in the batters box. Hopefully it won’t be for another 15 years or so. Mostly because I want to be around to give my wife emotional and practical support. (My mother-in-law had been widowed 35 years when she passed.). Anyway, as I said, I learned something these last few months. Thank you, Mom. R.I.P. and may God bless you.

 

[GHT]

My older sister (3 years older at 78) just died, complications of vascular dementia which she had been dealing with for 8 years.

A favorite uncle died at a quite advanced age a couple years ago. The proximate cause of death was renal failure, I think, but he had been struggling with vascular dementia for a couple-three or four years prior.

My mother-in-law died two weeks ago in our home. She was just shy of 90, the breast cancer had returned with a vengeance. She decided not to fight it. She died with her two daughters holding her hand.

My apologies for my flippant jokes. Bereavement is a pain that I know only too well. I didn't mean to trivialise the subject.
Tina & I have been married forever, we are such soul mates. Recently I have mentioned that the lady has had surgery, and more or less left it at that.
What Tina actually had was heart surgery, known as cardiac ablation. It's a treatment for irregular heart rhythms, called arrhythmias. It uses a catheter, and heat or cold energy, to create tiny scars in the heart. The scars block the faulty signals that cause irregular heartbeats. The operation took almost six hours.

Following surgery she remained in hospital until her surgeon felt confident enough for her to go home. She will be regularly monitored and has an appointment with her surgeon, mid October.

It has been a stressful period but her heartbeat, that was out of time, causing her chronic fatigue, is regular again. The monitoring is to ensure that it stays that way.

Prayers answered, she is safely home with me now. Each day the risk of me becoming a widower recedes, but I'm still concerned, how can I not be?

 

[LizzieMaine]

I was diagnosed last week with high blood pressure, which comes as no surprise, given my job and my family history and the world I find myself living in. And I find the only reason that I'm worried about it, or my various other symptoms of gradual physical deterioration, is that it's going to having to carve off an increasing number of pounds of flesh for the administrative parasites who run our local health care conglomerate.

I'm not afraid of getting old. I'm afraid of dying of gangrene on a bench on the street like a woman about my age did here last winter.

 

[tonyb]

My apologies for my flippant jokes. Bereavement is a pain that I know only too well. I didn't mean to trivialise the subject.
Tina & I have been married forever, we are such soul mates. Recently I have mentioned that the lady has had surgery, and more or less left it at that.
What Tina actually had was heart surgery, known as cardiac ablation. It's a treatment for irregular heart rhythms, called arrhythmias. It uses a catheter, and heat or cold energy, to create tiny scars in the heart. The scars block the faulty signals that cause irregular heartbeats. The operation took almost six hours.

Following surgery she remained in hospital until her surgeon felt confident enough for her to go home. She will be regularly monitored and has an appointment with her surgeon, mid October.

It has been a stressful period but her heartbeat, that was out of time, causing her chronic fatigue, is regular again. The monitoring is to ensure that it stays that way.

Prayers answered, she is safely home with me now. Each day the risk of me becoming a widower recedes, but I'm still concerned, how can I not be?

No need to apologize. We’re all adults here, and all who have made their contributions to this thread so far are well past the median age, so we’re all aware there’s but one way our stories end.

I’ve had a couple of ablations myself in recent years. They were a walk in the park compared to the bypass surgery I had in 2006.

Both of my ablations were successful, and both were done far more expeditiously than your Tina’s — a couple hours, maybe, as I recall. I was kept in the hospital just one night on both occasions.

My electrophysiologist is very well regarded among his professional peers, and it helps that he’s also a real nice guy. He’s gone to bat against the insurance company on my behalf a couple of times. Other patients of his regard him similarly. I’m very thankful there are people such as him willing to do what they do. I wouldn’t do it even if I could.

 

[LostInTyme]

I had an ablation that resulted in a hole in the heart and the pericardium filling with blood and subsequently crushing the heart. It was not a good experience, and I was saved only by some excellent docs, techs and nurses.

 

[tonyb]

^^^^^^
Yeez! Where did this happen?

I trust you’ve healed up okay?

A friend, a fellow a few years older than me, was quite distressed when his wife was diagnosed with heart failure. I told him that many millions of us here in God’s Country are heart failure patients and live for decades with the condition, to varying degrees. Most are physically and mentally active and lead normal lives in most regards.

 

[tonyb]

I’ve long thought that I would find life with dementia tolerable so long as I could still appreciate beauty.

Imagine my delight, then, when I stumbled across this quote from Franz Kafka …

“Anybody who preserves the ability to recognize beauty will never get old.”

 

[belfastboy]

I’ve long thought that I would find life with dementia tolerable so long as I could still appreciate beauty.

Imagine my delight, then, when I stumbled across this quote from Franz Kafka …

“Anybody who preserves the ability to recognize beauty will never get old.”

to an extent, as it depends on the type of dementia. With my sisters type of dementia/memory loss, it affected short term memory including the memory of how to eat, how to swallow, how to walk, sit up straight......etc etc.

 

[tonyb]

^^^^^
Sounds torturous.

My wife’s father had Alzheimer’s. He died three years ago.

I resist characterizing anyone’s death as a blessing, but I understand the sentiment. Wife’s dad (I never did refer to him as my father-in-law, what with he and I being closer in age than I am to his daughter) passed away before his dementia got to the point your sister lived through. He was able to eat and tend to basic bodily functions. He was living in an adult family home with lotsa locked doors and round-the-clock staffing. The exact cost of that care escapes me at the moment, but it weren’t cheap. The people who ran the place, Ethiopian immigrants, treated him and the other people living there kindly and respectfully. They certainly held up their end of the deal.

 

[belfastboy]

^^^^^
Sounds torturous.

My wife’s father had Alzheimer’s. He died three years ago.

I resist characterizing anyone’s death as a blessing, but I understand the sentiment. Wife’s dad (I never did refer to him as my father-in-law, what with he and I being closer in age than I am to his daughter) passed away before his dementia got to the point your sister lived through. He was able to eat and tend to basic bodily functions. He was living in an adult family home with lotsa locked doors and round-the-clock staffing. The exact cost of that care escapes me at the moment, but it weren’t cheap. The people who ran the place, Ethiopian immigrants, treated him and the other people living there kindly and respectfully. They certainly held up their end of the deal.

We have a new(ish) faciliity opened here called "Dementia Village"...weird name. It is a facility, like a small village with shops and services, secure grounds where the patients are allowed free run of the 'village'. It is a wonderful place. The downside is the $8 to $11K per month cost. My sister was on the wait list but she began to go down hill so very quickly went beyond the village's scope before a room came available. On the upside her children were able to keep her in her home waaaay past the point where it made sense......but they found a way.
I have come to believe the "blessing" of a passing has more to do with those tasked with the care giving. The weak spot of our 'assisted death' program here is you have to do it before you are really ready. But if you wait too long you are deemed not able to make an informed choice.

 

[tonyb]

^^^^^^
”Memory care centers” is the somewhat euphemistic way some dementia facilities are referred to around here. Just as well. We all know what they mean.

I can’t recall who it was who responded to being asked why he made a point of frequently visiting an elderly relative deep into dementia when that oldtimer didn’t know who this visitor was.

“But I know who he is,” he said.

 

[ChiTownScion]

I was diagnosed last week with high blood pressure, which comes as no surprise, given my job and my family history and the world I find myself living in. And I find the only reason that I'm worried about it, or my various other symptoms of gradual physical deterioration, is that it's going to having to carve off an increasing number of pounds of flesh for the administrative parasites who run our local health care conglomerate.

I'm not afraid of getting old. I'm afraid of dying of gangrene on a bench on the street like a woman about my age did here last winter.

Were you put on medication to treat it?

 

[LizzieMaine]

A little. Trying not to take too much because I worked in radio with a guy who was on heavy BP meds and it made him dopey. You can't earn a living when you're dopey, unless you're in politics.