Responding to public mocking

[djd]

I doubt it's possible to generalise too much... Younger people are more inclined to want to conform to the current trends in the UK. It's probably because being such a relatively small place its very easy for fashions and crazes to sweep the entire population. It's the same with music as with fashion.

 

[skyvue]

With all due respect to you for wearing a hat, perhaps it is your overall appearance that brings out this rage in people. The way you described yourself sounds like you are a fop- tone it down. Maybe switch the homburg for a fedora or ditch the 3 piece suit etc.

You are combining far too many "vintage" elements for a modern caveman. Also, too much grey may be a problem too- mix up your colors.

that's my take on this. Look sharp and not vintage and you will hopefully turn this attention into compliments.

I'm not the first to say it, but I couldn't disagree more with this advice. Wear what you want to wear, and ignore the clowns who offer negative feedback. Who in the world cares what some total stranger thinks? I wouldn't for a moment consider changing my attire to appease a lout like the one the OP described.

I get nothing but compliments on my 90% vintage wardrobe here in NYC, but even when I return to my hometown of Oklahoma City, I don't change my look. I couldn't care less what someone I've never met and will likely never encounter again thinks of my taste in garb. If I lived in a place so close-minded that it was a problem to wear vintage, I'd consider moving.

On the other hand, my wife and I wore vintage for the eight days we spent in London, and we got no negative response at all.

 

[kaosharper1]

I often travel to London and typically wear a fedora (usually the one in my avatar). I have to admit that I haven't gotten many responses positive or negative. Maybe it's different in the country than in the city.

 

[John in Covina]

It seems that people here feel compelled to comment when someone wears a hat nowadays and I'm interested to know how you respond to the negative feedback. I xas in Oxford the other day wearing my grey homburg and grey 3 piece suit and a 40ish man riding a bicycle stopped and exclaimed "oh my God, what DO you look like?" And then called me a few choice words which I can't use on the Lounge. This happens to me quite often. Does this happen to anyone else and how do you respond?

The theme of this thread has been repeated numerous times over the past few years. What you will find is that there are people that will turn this thread around and say that we are all elitist snobs. If you wait long enough and the thread develops the way it usually does, I can pretty much guarantee some body will get huffy over the whole thing.

There are a number of responses you can use.

First is to simply do or say nothing, which can only indicate their opinion is not valued.

You can say to them that you are really NOT interested in their opinion.

I like the old - "if I wanted your opinion I would have beaten it out of you" line.

or the "And your opinions matters- How?"


The problem remains if someone is agitated enough to shout at you and maybe call you names then what kind of response will responding to them generate. They may be come enraged.

I have heard it said that much of the problems being encountered in the UK and Europe has to do with WWI and WWII. Too many countries lost the best of their man folk in those wars and the gene poll is tilted towards the type that was not allowed into the armed forces. We maybe seeing the results.

 

[John in Covina]

Maybe we need a "Vintage Walk"?

That is a great idea. Any time you can put together some type of gathering of the Fedora Loungers is a positive thing. Actually, one of the things that could possibly be done is to have a vintage walk and write an article or letter to the editor about the discrimination that is rampant in supposedly civilized countries today.

If you can motivate people, the politically minded and/or those that have a background in social justice issues- organize it as a "Protest Walk for Vintage" and invite the press.

 

[Icthruu74]

Although I do not dress vintage, my choice in clothing is generally made based on what I like and no one else. I do not care to conform. And I do not comment on the clothing choices others make if I dislike them. If I see someone wearing an item that I particularly like I will complement them on it, and perhaps ask what it is and where they acquired it.

Living in the upper midwest, I get a lot of "Hey Tex"s even when wearing a fedora, and even a boonie hat once. It seems that anything other than a ball-cap facing in an incorrect direction is considered out of the ordinary.

 

[Aerol]

There used to be a Thread on "The dumbest comments I ever heard." You could get some ideas from that. In your specific instance "You kiss your mother with that mouth?" would be an appropriate response.

 

[HatsEnough]

I guess it is hard for me to understand worrying over much what other people think of my hat. I've gotten the "Hey Capone" comment. I've gotten asked if I am a "newspaper guy." I have gotten smiles, nods, and "Hey, cool hat" comments. I can't remember ever having a negative comment.

Also, oddly enough, I see a lot of you folks saying that people bring up Indiana Jones in reference to your hat all the time. I have never once had anyone equate my hat to that movie. Never. Maybe I don't seem like an artifact thief?

 

[John in Covina]

I have copied this from the other thread and made a few changes to it but I think that while no all people fall into the low regard for others we seem to be seeing a rise in that lack of regard.

From the other thread: This also seems like a rising trend that people are not content to keep their opinion to themselves.

From bawling brat to 20 somethings acting like teenagers to even older people that have never really grown up, all have an inflated sense of self. For more than a 3 decades in the US we see an upbringing that has put an emphesis on self importance in combating the dreaded "low self esteem" that plagued our school children. The efforts to inflate their self esteem then extends to kids having no qualms imposing on others, especially when it come to their opinions.

Being in a group adds to the confidence that they may make loud comments or shout at others for the amusement of their peers and all around

Some kids, teens and young adults become enthralled with making fun of others and have no problems with trying to humiliate others in public. It may also have roots in those reality shows that are schools for bad behavior as well as the Jerry Springer type programs that focus on some of the worst ways to treat those around you.

If you have watched Doc Martin the gaggle of school girls that roams the streets of the town take great delight in making vicious / condescending remarks directed at the Doctor for the groups amusement. that is a line that gets crossed more and more today.


When I was a kid and a teen most of the kids I hung out with might make fun of someone behind their backs but they had a level of empathy that prevented them from humiliating others in public or at a party. We could be mischievious but we were not cruel. Today it seems more people lack empathy and are more cruel. The funny thing is here in the US the school kids are consistantly directed to strive for "individuality," to value "following your heart" and to not have disdain for those that are different- however it seems that this education is very ineffective.

The old saying usually has merit: "If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all."

 

[fmw]

With age you will begin to lose the concern about what other people think. You should dress as you want to dress. Don't accomodate rude pigs like the one you encountered. Your goal shouldn't be to please them.

 

[EggHead]

Also, oddly enough, I see a lot of you folks saying that people bring up Indiana Jones in reference to your hat all the time. I have never once had anyone equate my hat to that movie. Never. Maybe I don't seem like an artifact thief?

Maybe I look like an archeologist? Leather jacket perhaps? My avatar picture drew that comment for the brown hat.

 

[rgraham]

I would have told him to "get stuffed" and be on my way.

 

[cybergentleman]

I am all about vintage dress!!! What I am trying to say, and I should have been more clear about this, is that there is dressing vintage and looking sharp, and then there is wearing dated clothing for the sake of looking vintage but just looking out of place. I've seen plenty of people, generally younger crowds and hipsters wearing "vintage" outfits for the sake of looking hip but it looks bad. with a capital B.

People out there who would dare scoff at a passerby for the way they look are jerks- end of story. My advice is to evaluate the outfit- maybe it looks foolish, if you are convinced it looks proper then yes, stick to it. I do stand by my thoughts though regarding the fact that a three piece suit in grey plus a homburg is a lot of intense text book vintage- hope you did not look like a pimp.


please tell me you do not carry a cane.

I'm not the first to say it, but I couldn't disagree more with this advice. Wear what you want to wear, and ignore the clowns who offer negative feedback. Who in the world cares what some total stranger thinks? I wouldn't for a moment consider changing my attire to appease a lout like the one the OP described.

 

[Rick Blaine]

Being an Americain who has lived in Europe for the last 11 years, I think that there is much more tolerance in the States for the whole "doing your own thing but not bothering anybody" attitude. I don't know if you consider Britain as part of Europe, but the people here have a very hard time accepting anything which is out of the ordinary-whether it be something positive or not. There is a huge emphasis on conforming and doing things just like everyone else.

I think you are spot-on...and t'was ever thus. I visited the UK in '78 and had no hat, but DID have straight black hair to the waist,(it was the 7o's ya'll!) tied with a headband of some sort & clean shaven.

As some of my peeps were NDN (and NDN fighters) I couldn't take too much offense, but I got allot of "woo-woo-woo" "Red Indian" "Geronimo" and so on. They did seem threatened in some way. It was always from a group, never a solitary individual. A desire to conform and see to see others do too ran deep, it seemed.

Happily they didn't pay me too much mind, as, "back then" getting pissed and Paki-bashing was the emerging national hobby. :censored:

 

[DJH]

I can't get out of my head, the image of a guy on a bike, stopping, stepping off, yelling abuse at a close by vintage dressed person, getting back on bike, riding away.

 

[MisterCairo]

I have heard it said that much of the problems being encountered in the UK and Europe has to do with WWI and WWII. Too many countries lost the best of their man folk in those wars and the gene poll is tilted towards the type that was not allowed into the armed forces. We maybe seeing the results.

:eusa_clap:eusa_clap:eusa_clap

 

[jwalls]

Dressed as above for the SASS Convention this passed Christmas a rather shabbily dressed Brit said " Do you always dress that way?"
Quote I "Only when I wish to test the manners of strangers!"

 

[mercuryfelt76]

Thank you for all your responses I really appreciate your advice I've learnt a few things. But many of you are missing the point. I'm not bothered by what people think otherwise I wouldn't dress the way I do. But I don't look ridiculous, I get far more wolf-whistles from girls and nice comments than bad ones... far more. I LOVE the way it looks and many people agree.

It's not that I care what people think and I'm not looking to avoid the attention - I know how to conform. I started this thread to find useful gentlemanly responses which show people 1) that I don't care what a stranger thinks but most importantly 2) remind them that they are the idiot for thinking the whole world values their opinion.

My homburg attracts a lot of great comments which make me feel that I do look to others the same as I feel I look. Even the hoody wearing hip hop kids call out "yes gangsta" or "looking sharp". In fact it's never the kids that make the comments. My 3 piece suit is a modern (and looks Taylor fit) suit which on it's own looks fantastic and I keep in shape, so it doesn't hang off me as can sometimes be the case with off-the-shelf suits.

Thanks to a few replies here I think I've found the route cause of these comments - I'm 35 but I only look about 18 - I get asked for I.D. all the time. And people think I'm trying to look grown up.

As I said earlier it's NOT the suit which attracts attention. I already said in the start of the thread, it doesn't matter what I wear with it, it's the hat which gets the comments. Even if I'm wearing a small fedora with a T-shirt and jeans I still get comments. But since I've started wearing a nice suit to match I've had so many nice comments that I'm better off in the suit.

John: I like your responses, I'll use some of them.

Jmw: thank you, you're very supportive.

To everyone else, I'd really like to hear what is a good thing to say which stops me looking like I've been outsmarted and shows anyone who's nearby that if you make these comments you will come off looking stupid and not me.

Ok I will, with age, learn to care even less but on a few occasions I just wanted to make the abuser feel that they've wasted their energy and discourage this behaviour of ridicule sweeping Europe. It's so funny, in London we love a rebel but only if they conform to rebel stereotypes.

 

[mercuryfelt76]

Dressed as above for the SASS Convention this passed Christmas a rather shabbily dressed Brit said " Do you always dress that way?"
Quote I "Only when I wish to test the manners of strangers!"

BRILLIANT! That's the sort of thing I'm looking for. Love it.

 

[Richard Warren]

There is no polite way to respond to such behavior, other than to box the offender's ears. Unless you are willing to go the distance, ignore it.