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If you get a bespoke hat in beaver felt it def doesn't need to be babied. After all the rodent known as beaver lives in water. They are durable and even if they get beat up quality fur felt is amazingly resilient.Hmm. I thought the firm/stiff vs. soft, and the western vs. fedora questions were independent of each other. But maybe I don't fully understand how you are using the terms. My only experience with fur felt hats comes from my three Akubras. A Stylemaster, an Adventurer, and a Banjo Peterson. I call all three of them fedoras, though perhaps the Banjo is considered an Aussie country hat (does that make it "western"?. Please correct me if I'm wrong, but I think they all have what would be called firm/stiff felt, and I am not looking for anything softer than they are.
I suppose some people who spend the extra money for a bespoke hat may think of it like fine jewelry that may only come out on special occasions. Perhaps in the same vein as owning a nice tuxedo even though it is not worn very often. My attitude about a custom hat is actually the exact opposite. I would get it with the intent that it was what I wore most often, and would become part of my signature style. But I think anything that gets that much use would need extra durability, so I think firm/stiff would be the only way to go for me. I associate fine/soft with delicate, and I definitely don't want something that needs to be babied.
It cleans up so well and relatively easily. Rand Custom Hatters has a facebook page and from time to time they show hats worn so much, beat up so badly they look like candidates for the waste bin. Then they show the 'after' refurb pic and a like new hat. I am in the process of cleaning a bunch of hats for DeadlyHandsome and then installing new sweats and ribbon. The more I work with fur felt the more respect I have for it. Amazing stuff.