Is chivalry dead?

[SgtRick]

I was wondering....as I often do, if ladies still appreciate a man who opens doors for you, pulls out your chair during dinner, or holds the umbrella over you when it's raining. Has womens lib really stopped a man from being nice to the fairer sex? As you watch the classics on TV or DVD and you see a man do these things for his date or spouse do you wonder if we as men have lost "it"?

 

[Edward]

Has womens lib really stopped a man from being nice to the fairer sex?

I don't believe so, but I've often seen it cited as an excuse by those who are less than gentlemanly.

 

[Whoa Mama!]

I really, really, really want to say yes, but I don't think it is, necessarily. I think people often just forget, in their busy lives and our rush-rush society. Sometimes it jumps out and surprises me, though. I just think we've become a less-polite society in general...

One thing I believe a lot of women forget about chivalry is that it's a two-way street. Yes, men should be chivalrous....but women should be worthy of that honour and attitude towards them. Seriously. And I'm not a women's libber, necessarily, but wouldn't it be nice if we ALL shared the chivalry load?

Wouldn't it be nice if more people tried a bit of chivalry, every day? Just a bit, at least?? I'm female, but I open doors for elderly people or anyone who needs it. I'll let that person with just one item to purchase in the grocery line ahead of me when I have a full cart. And I smile and say thank you when someone does something nice for me. Like waving when someone lets me merge in front of them on the freeway. A smile goes a long way.

Oops! Almost forgot to mention that, yes. I DO appreciate if a man goes out of his way to do something like your suggestions!

 

[LizzieMaine]

What it all boils down to is that if you use changes in society as an excuse for acting like a jackass, you really *are* a jackass. "Chivalry" is just a fancy-pants word for common courtesy.

 

[SgtRick]

I always hold open doors for ladies no matter what. I was just brought up to respect everyone. Ma'am and Sir are part of my daily vocabulary.

 

[djd]

It does bug me though, when people (men and women) do not even acknowledge a courtesy - such as holding a door open. That happens all too often. Plus if women are going to be as obnoxious and agressive as men they largely forgo any extra consideration IMHO. That said, I try to be gentlemanly towards women whereever possible

 

[beth]

I do appreciate it when a man does those things. I've know only a few young men that will hold the door open for me, but I've never had anyone do much more then that.

 

[Feraud]

The deeper society lurches into the fist bump mentality as acceptable in all social interactions the less likely you will find people (men and women) that understand why holding a door for anyone is relevant.

 

[LocktownDog]

"Chivalry" is just a fancy-pants word for common courtesy.

Agreed. Just be courteous without expectations. Why worry about how others react?

 

[rue]

I certainly appreciate those things and I think certain courtesies are still expected, like having a door held open, but I've noticed that a lot of the chivalrous acts that you see in the movies have disappeared. For instance, when is the last time you saw a woman walk into a room and all the men stood up? Or watched a man put his coat down for a woman to sit on so she won't get dirty? Open a car door for her? Light her cigarette even if he doesn't smoke? Walk on her left side down the street?

One thing that really bothers me lately is that I keep seeing men that sit in the passenger seat of the car and the woman that was driving gets out and fills the gas tank. Unless he's paralyzed he needs to get off his butt and do it for her and for that matter, he should be driving in the first place.

 

[Feraud]

The problem with comparing life to movies is how to discern what you see on film as an accurate reflection of real life? Fifty years from now should people judge mannerisms based on films made today?
When I gripe about how terrible society is today I judge it against itself and not an idealized past as reflected on film.

 

[Isis]

I have certainly never expected a man to do those things, but my darling do them, and I really appreciate that. I have also noticed that other women gets very charmed by him when he does such things. I don't think he is really concious of it even, he was brought up to do it and it comes naturally.

 

[rue]

Personally, I think movies have always been a reflection of society to a point. I know all the things I mentioned were done and not that long ago, because my mother witnessed it all the time when she was younger and she's only 59.

 

[Tatum]

I don't think it's dead. I can't walk in or out of a 7-11 without a man holding the door for me. Honestly! And I always thank them.

Hubby started opening the car door for me on special occasions years ago and I told him how much I liked it. Now, if I have a dress on, he does. Running errands, maybe not, but anytime we are out he does.

 

[Amy Jeanne]

Maybe it's regional, but 99.9% of all people here (man or woman) will hold the door open for you and will also say "Thank you" in return. It's just common courtesy.

As for my husband, he always gets out to get gas and he drives MOST of the time, but not because he's a gentleman -- lol. He just says I drive too slow. lol

 

[Drappa]

I'm not sure it's dead, but it's certainly dying, along with dress codes and such. My husband has always held the door for me or pulled out my chair, but I know other men his age we know never do any if it. Mostly it seems to be behaviour reserved for dates and only employed to impress in the beginning. I do have doors opened quite regularly by older men, but most younger men and women can't even be bothered to say thank you when you do something for them or get out of their way, so they'd never think of holding doors. Whenever I hear men of my generation talk about the why, they state that they have been told off by young women for being chauvinistic, though I have never actually heard anyone say that.

 

[Miss Golightly]

they state that they have been told off by young women for being chauvinistic, though I have never actually heard anyone say that.

Excuses, excuses........

I've read that to but have yet to hear one woman say she doesn't want a man to hold the door for her and that she can do it herself - it's nonsense - a lame excuse for these particular men to get away with bad manners.

 

[AtomicEraTom]

I said to someone yesterday, my exact words, "Chivalry is dead"

 

[Tomasso]

Is chivalry dead?

No.....but it's on life support.

 

[AtomicEraTom]

I always pumped gas for my ex and almost always drove. The only time she would drive is if we had a long drive, I have circulation problems in my legs, especially in the winter and it makes it hard to drive for a long distance. I will admit, I'm not a big fan of driving, either lol

One thing that really bothers me lately is that I keep seeing men that sit in the passenger seat of the car and the woman that was driving gets out and fills the gas tank. Unless he's paralyzed he needs to get off his butt and do it for her and for that matter, he should be driving in the first place.