Is chivalry dead?

[Undertow]

It has not died.

While some folks were raised to be idiots, others choose that path. In any case, Chivalry is still alive and well elsewhere.

 

[rue]

You and I are such total opposites Drappa lol

I guess after being divorced and having to do all the things that a man does on top of being a mom to two kids for over 6 years, I was more than happy to go back to being a homemaker when I married again. It's not that I can't do manly things, I just don't want to

 

[Drappa]

^We're not really, I am quite happy for him to drive most of the time or mow the lawn, and quite happy to do laundry and cooking, as long as he doesn't insist it's done that way and I can feel that it's no big deal if I did want to do it!
Since I used to drive 100 miles every day to and from work before we moved, I don't like driving all that much anyway, it was really stressful.

 

[Tomasso]

if I have been a passenger 20 times to the exact same place, I am still unable to tell how to get there or which vague direction I need to take, unless I have driven there myself......

While my sense of direction is fairly good, I too find that driving in a particular area does vastly reduce the time needed to grasp the lay of the land. As a passenger there are various things (conversation, reading, drinking in the sights, daydreaming, napping, etc... ) that can distract from the route being taken.

 

[Old Rogue]

I always hold the door for ladies or even other men who happen to be going in just as I am coming out. Nine times out of ten that and a nod of the head along with a "good morning" (or afternoon or evening as the case may be) earns an appreciative look and a thank-you. I don't think it's just a southern thing, I've traveled all over the US for business and pleasure and get pretty much the same reaction everywhere. While there are boorish people out there, I don't think chivalry is dead; most of the time it's lurking just beneath the surface and only needs a tiny bit of encouragement to show it's face.

 

[Pompidou]

Ladies let me drive once. If they see me twice, they insist on driving. It's a combination of bad in the crazy sense driving and an old ratty truck held together by duct tape and in need of a muffler. I spend a lot of time in the passenger seat.

 

[AtomicEraTom]

I love a woman who can work on a car. I have a friend and she can outwrench me some days. I am practically drooling lol

I do believe that men should do men's work. If a woman wants to, I would never go "No, this is men's territory" but I don't feel that women should be changing oil and tires while the man sits and watches the Tube, either.

Oh Lord.... I think you misunderstood me Edward.... I'm not archaic for goodness sake lol I do think women should know how to drive, among many other things (change a tire, use a screw driver, mow the lawn, etc), so that if they are without a man they can get on fine. But if a man is around, I should hope that he would be the one to do them.

 

[SgtRick]

I can cook, clean up after myself, do my own laundry and other asorted domestic tasks. That doesn't mean I want to do them all the time. I was housebroken at a young age and learned to take care of myself. Manners were also learned at a young age. Treating all people, especially ladies, with respect was never an option in my house. Those lessons continue on today.

 

[MissChloeCorville]

I hate to say it but I really do think it is. People that are older still do it because we were raised with it thus, it is still alive in a sense. Times change and so do the way people act. So i think slowly it's dying out.

 

[Formeruser012523]

I think it's dead with younger people. Not sure they're raised to open doors, work on cars, etc.
It seems to be the case with older people, though.

Yesterday a gentleman held the door for my mother & I as we entered a building. We said our "thank you's" & received a smile from him, in return. Living in a southern state I sometimes think that's a little more expected of people.

 

[rue]

I do believe that men should do men's work. If a woman wants to, I would never go "No, this is men's territory" but I don't feel that women should be changing oil and tires while the man sits and watches the Tube, either.

Exactly

I can cook, clean up after myself, do my own laundry and other asorted domestic tasks. That doesn't mean I want to do them all the time. I was housebroken at a young age and learned to take care of myself. Manners were also learned at a young age. Treating all people, especially ladies, with respect was never an option in my house. Those lessons continue on today.

Oh yes.... it should work both ways. I think men should know how to do all those things too, even if they never have to. My son was taught how to do all of that and my daughter will be, for example, learning how to change a tire on her car when she gets one this year. I don't want to send them into the world helpless.

 

[Atticus Finch]

Is chivalry dead?
I was wondering....as I often do, if ladies still appreciate a man who opens doors for you, pulls out your chair during dinner, or holds the umbrella over you when it's raining. Has womens lib really stopped a man from being nice to the fairer sex? As you watch the classics on TV or DVD and you see a man do these things for his date or spouse do you wonder if we as men have lost "it"?

I still do the things mentioned above. While Jackie is very "modern", she understands that I am quite proud of my traditional Southern upbringing. She doesn't complain when I open the car door for her or, when it is raining, drive her to the front door of where we're going before I park the car. I think that she understands that I do those things as much for me as for her.

And, yes, I still hold the door for strangers. And I try to call people "sir" and "mame" even though I may be older than they. And I speak to total strangers when I pass them in the courthouse or on the street. I occasionally get some cross or confused looks, especially from younger people, but I couldn't care less. Again, I mostly do those things because I would be uncomfortable doing otherwise.

And, more importantly, my mother and grandmothers (were they still alive) would be uncomfortabe for me to do otherwise.

AF

 

[AmateisGal]

My hubby opens the car door for me all the time. I love it.

 

[R.G. White]

I don't think it's dead. But it's dying. At our school we have a special section for the teenage mothers. One day when they were all leaving, and I was waiting in the vestibule for someone, I opened the door for almost everyone of them, as it's quite clear it's a bit difficult to roll a stroller and open a door at the same time. There was another guy there, not much older than I, who shook his head and laughed like it was the most ridiculous thing in the world... I mean, if you aren't going to open a door for a woman alone, at least open it for a woman with a child.

 

[AtomicEraTom]

It's a 2 way street, as well. I have no problem wrenching, mowing, painting, blah, blah, blah, even if the woman is capable. But I can cook, clean, wash, iron, etc, but think that the woman should do it if I'm doing all the 'men's work'.

I can cook, clean up after myself, do my own laundry and other asorted domestic tasks. That doesn't mean I want to do them all the time. I was housebroken at a young age and learned to take care of myself. Manners were also learned at a young age. Treating all people, especially ladies, with respect was never an option in my house. Those lessons continue on today.

 

[Pompidou]

So much of the framework that chivalry was constructed around has long vanished. It's not surprising that chivalry is as well. When I was in college, a literature professor talked about how women's clothing particularly, but the culture around women in general, was designed to keep women dependent. Who knows if this is true or not. He mentioned all the rather impractical things women are persuaded to wear, like high heels, long nails, outfits not conducive to any sort of movement (how many movie scenes have a woman ditching her shoes and ripping her skirt to run?). The whole idea of, "You just worry about looking pretty dear, a man can do that," has long disappeared. That's a good thing, by and large. Makes you wonder if chivalry's disappearance isn't because of poor upbringing, but because it's no longer needed.

 

[chanteuseCarey]

My Mr. is very gentlemanly and chivalrous; he also cooks for me when I'm up at his house, and won't let me wash a dish or even walk it to the sink. He washes my back for me in the shower- nice! The other Saturday, I asked about wanting to help him work in his garden, he said he'd rather do the dirty garden work and that he'd rather enjoy hearing me play on his piano. And I never lead on the dance floor, he does.

 

[Undertow]

...I think that she understands that I do those things as much for me as for her...

I really liked this statement. I think this is where it sits with me, too.

 

[Chas]

Chivalry dead?

Not at all. It does, however, depend heavily upon the presentation and disposition of the female in question.

Manners are never out of style.

 

[AtomicEraTom]

I was watching TV today and there was a movie preview. The fella opened the car door for a gal and she says "Did you just open the door for me? Nobody's ever done that for me before, do it again." It made me think of this thread.