I wll never understand my generation! Can someone please explain this to me

[KL15]

I want to preface by saying that I wish not to offend. This is simply something I heard and would like to know how we got here. I was raised here in the south to be a southern gentleman. Although I fall off of that sometimes I get back on the wagon a continue. That being said, I was raised to believe that if you referred to a woman with the word "b**ch" that was an insult. So can someone please explain to me how in the world that word has become a term of endearment? I hear women around these days saying things like "I'm his b**ch" or "I'm his B." I hear men referring to women using that word and most women think it's no big deal. Or as I stated earlier, a term of endearment. What is all this about?

 

[Marc Chevalier]

Along those lines .... I've always wondered why "my old lady" was/is a term of endearment for a wife. Come to think of it, isn't "the little woman" patronizing as well?

.

 

[Starius]

I think the use of the word in that context is pretty much the modern equivalent of the "old ball and chain" kind of reference, or "old lady" like Marc mentioned.

I've always viewed this situation, whether it is said jokingly or not, as an affectionate expression for those who do not wish to show any kind of overtly affectionate expression, for whatever reason. Why they tend to go to more extremes as time goes on, I believe, is because words have a tendency to desaturate in power as time goes on (in popular culture) - only to be replaced with newer more potent (or volatile) words or phrases.

 

[warbird]

In my opinion, it is the unfortunate by product of the rap culture, their music, videos and lifestyle example. Personally it disgusts me as does the 'old lady' term, which was a by product of the fascination with the biker lifestyle in the 1970's.

Calling a woman you supposedly love a bitch or beotch is simply not endearable no matter how it is twisted and turned. It is seeking to degrade women as second class, as less than a man or as a man's property. Would you call your daughter that? I certainly wouldn't and if anyone did call my daughter that they would find themselves flat on the ground with a smashed jaw.

In my opinion it also goes to a man or men judging women's worths based on their physical features, 'get a boob job bitch' or get a get that tummy flat beotch', i.e. it's about what pleases him.. It is this objectification which bothers me most. I like a beautiful woman as much as the next guy, but I want their natural beauty not what some doctor creates. This may seem off base, but IMO it all ties together.

 

[Paisley]

Some people don't know any better. Maybe they are afraid to demand respect.

 

[epr25]

I work with a guy that for the last 2 years he has never refered to his wife by name it's always "the wife". I always thought that was weird. Not as offensive as the b word but odd none the less.

 

[Jovan]

Whether or not that's the case, Starius, I've never found it very endearing to call someone that. What's worse is that people STILL defend using the word "gay" to mean tacky, pointless, stupid, or any number of negative things with the idea that words change meaning over time. Okay... but that's like calling something "black" or "Hispanic" because it's stupid. If they did that, it would be nowhere near as widespread. As well, calling someone their bitch is basically calling them their dog... their pet to do with as they please. Not very nice. Or endearing.

Good to know members here regard women as people and equals.

 

[PA Dancer]

It's just a lack of respect to call anyone by anything other than their first name especially during introductions (if you forgot the persons name, fess up to it).

Yes, I know we all have those cute nicknames for our honey or sweetie, but their are appropriate times and places for theses. Same thing with nicknames between friends.

God knows what these people are thinking using bi*ch, ball and chain, the wife, and what ever others you can think of using in a relationship situation. In my experiences these people don't really like and or respect their significant other when using these terms.

Once again it's just a matter of them not doing their research.

 

[dhermann1]

Hipper than thou

I think a lot of it has to do with the American mania for being hipper than thou. It's hip, it's down, to use the latest street language. You're saying "I've been around, baby", "I've been around the block, know what I mean?" It's SOOO phoney.

 

[MaryDeluxe]

This reminds me of the "n" word. I can not stand this word being used. I have banned it from my classroom. One day I wrote up a Hispanic student who constantly was using the "n" word. We then had a heated debate about the orgins of the word and he tried to defend the use of the word by saying it was okay to use as long as you say it with an "a" on the end. I looked at him and said, okay then Sp*ca, I guess you can use any offensive ethnic slur as long as you put an "a" at the end of it! That was the last time I ever heard him use the "n" word in my class.

 

[Jack Scorpion]

Difficult to toss judgments and executions around on the evolution of slang. Every generation is guilty of the same crimes. For me, I'm an English language junky, and that includes slang. Sometimes using a negative term to refer to/address a cared-for-one can be an endearing use of language. So I'm simply aight with most anything you can come up with.

As for the multi-use of the word, Gay, I use it all the time, but only with my gay friends. The 6-letter F-word get used a lot, too. It is a measurement of friendship just how derogative you can go. Haha. Of course, that's a two-way street. Heck, in my eye: Over-sensitivity, politically-correctness and fear of offending someone else is what's wrong with America.

 

[warbird]

Over-sensitivity, politically-correctness and fear of offending someone else is what's wrong with America.

In general I agree with that statement completely. But things must be done with tact and kept in the place where they belong. When you refer to women in general in these types of terms in public one must be willing to be thought of in a negative light. Not you meant directed at you, you as in you who might speak this way.

 

[luvthatlulu]

This is simply something I heard and would like to know how we got here...I was raised to believe that if you referred to a woman with the word "b**ch" that was an insult. So can someone please explain to me how in the world that word has become a term of indearment?...What is all this about?

A real good question. Here are my thoughts, for whatever it's worth: There are two kinds of respect -- expected and earned . Everyone expects to receive a little respect from others and everyone else expects to have the same shown towards them. You can call it "manners", "being polite", etc. but it's really the same thing -- showing that modicum of decency that polite society deems proper in day-to-day human interaction.

How did we get where we are? Simple. By many of us not earning (or at least not demanding) that level of respect previously mentioned. No one should ever be referred to by a slur in any situation. Period. But that alone won't prevent some people trying to get away with doing it anyway. To a certain extent, I lay some of the blame for such terms becoming part of everyday vernacular on those who have allowed the terms to be used with impunity in the first place. What I'm trying to say is this: It's a pipedream to believe we can ever totally prevent people from using derogatory words toward others, but how each of us reacts towards them when they do will either encourage or discourage them from it again in the future. If someone were to call Lulu a "b****" to her face...I'm pretty sure they will live long enough to regret it. If I hear someone call her a "b****"...I know they'll live at least long enough to regret it and they will, if they're real fortunate, remember not to ever make that mistake again!

As my father used to say, "you can't ask anyone else to respect you if you don't first respect yourself."

 

[LizzieMaine]

When I was six I got my mouth washed out with soap -- literally and physically -- for calling my cousin that word. Maybe it's time that quaint old custom made a comeback.

 

[Bebop]

I say let's blame it on rap music. I think they started all the downgrading of women in recent years.

I'm from So. America and when anyone says "my old lady" there, they are talking about their mother, which makes a little more sense than talking about your wife or girlfriend. It is also used to refer to you father, as it is here. "My old man".

 

[Diamondback]

When I was six I got my mouth washed out with soap -- literally and physically -- for calling my cousin that word. Maybe it's time that quaint old custom made a comeback.

Time for old Fels Naphtha to make a comeback, I think...

 

[dashiell]

Honest opinion? I think it's a ... growth, shall we say? ... of the term "dog" or "dawg" used to (forgive me if I'm wrong") express camaraderie or affiliation among males. This term, in my opinion, may have gained popularity as an indicator of a pack mentality. A contrast from the precursor term "cat". So, perhaps if a woman is one's "dawg" she must then be one's "b*tch". Of course, the relationship differs a bit, from camaraderie to partnership, but I still think it's possible that "dawg" is to "b*tch" as "cat" is to "kitten". Though somehow less suave.

Or, quite possibly not. If someone referred to me that way, I'd have trouble not decking the person.

 

[KL15]

Great points everyone. :eusa_clap I thought I would get a more informed answer here than anywhere else. I just cannot address a lady with that word. It's degrading. I CERTAINLY couldn't address someone I was interesed in with that.

 

[Diamondback]

Or, quite possibly not. If someone referred to me that way, I'd have trouble not decking the person.

And I'd suspect even most of the cads of the Golden Era would have trouble not serving up a knuckleburger on the slime who refer to ladies in such manner. I know I always have to put a lot of work into keeping my fangs from coming out in such situations...

 

[dhermann1]

When I was six I got my mouth washed out with soap -- literally and physically -- for calling my cousin that word. Maybe it's time that quaint old custom made a comeback.

Same here, but I was 5, and by my grandmother. I didn't understand what the word meant, but I knew it got a big reaction whenever I used it. She sure got my attention with that soap and water!