I don't know if this belongs here but,

[SGT Rocket]

If I may chime in here, as a man. My wife and I were apart for 18 months (less three, 2-week periods we spent together). However, we were already married, and we had a two year old and a two month old when I left. We were living here in the Twin Cities area of Minnesota. I spent six months in Arizona, came back for two weeks, then went to Iraq for a year. I did go home on a two week leave from Iraq. I also went home once from Arizona for two weeks.

I think if you are mature enough you will be fine. However, when I was in Iraq, there were many men who go "Dear John" letters from their spouses or girl friends. It will be work, just like any relationship but you can do it if you both try.

 

[rue]

^ Oh yes... the dreaded 'Jody' :eeek:

 

[nosferaturoams]

Well, I will be honest. My boyfriend is STILL immature. From all these responses, I seem to pay more attention to the negative responses
Think I'll be moving

 

[Tatum]

Gosh, everyone is making me feel like we beat the odds.

 

[Amy Jeanne]

I was in New Jersey and he was in London, England for the first year of our relationship.

We've been married for almost 6 years. If you are crazy about each other it can be done.

Also, my British-born husband has joined the American military and he just came back from 4 months Basic Training and we are stronger than ever. He leaves for a year in January But I know we will get through it unscathed. Confidence, maturity, and outside interests are what keep us strong.

 

[Tomasso]

Confidence, maturity, and outside interests are what keep us strong.

Come on, fess up; you use some of this stuff too.......

 

[4spurs]

You never explained why you were staying, and why he was leaving.

What is it that you are doing that is so important that you can't stop doing it now?

What is it that he is going to do in Nebraska that is so important that he has to leave now?

Commitment means making sacrifices; what's at stake for both of you?

 

[Edward]

My last relationship was two hours apart by train, and we had very different working schedules. If she'd been prepared, in the longer term, to move into the city or I into the wilds of nowhere, it might have worked. Was never going to last in the long haul, though. (That said, we also had other radical differences, not least she wanted to keep the option of kids open, whereas wanting kids is a deal-breaker for me.) I would only get into a distance thing again if it was for the short term (the distance, not the relationship!). On a related note, there is no way on God's green earth I would even consider relocating for someone I wasn't 300% sure about..... after several years.

 

[AtomicEraTom]

Having kids is a deal breaker for me, too. I was seeing a girl and she told me that she didn't want to get married or have kids. These are the two most important things, if you ask me, so I moved on. We lived far apart, but that was no issue.

 

[SgtRick]

Come on, fess up; you use some of this stuff too.......

I got some of that too! Didn't work though.

 

[nosferaturoams]

I plan on attending school Here. Its cheaper then moving because residents don't have to pay for so much. We're NOT currently living together anyhow and he's moving because of money problems. The main reason though I will keep to myself because it is a rather personal issue.

We were just talking about him moving. He would prefer I stay (for now) because he wants to check it out first with his family.

Tatum I hope we end up like you and your beloved. Together (happily)

I'm going to stay. For now.

 

[Tomasso]

. The main reason though I will keep to myself because it is a rather personal issue.

Just whisper it; I won't tell anybody....

 

[SGT Rocket]

^ Oh yes... the dreaded 'Jody' :eeek:

Yep, sad but true...

 

[Undertow]

It can work in theory, but you need to be a strong on your own to begin with. If you're the kind of person that naturally needs alot of people around you and you find that you're very much social, I think it would be difficult.

On the other hand, if you're comfortable sitting at home 6 days a week reading magazines or watching the Three Stooges, you could probably get by for a stretch. It all depends on who you are. And don't go changing that, for godsake.

 

[Mr. Hallack]

Well I had it not work, and work. I was dating one gal back in the early 90's, she moved to Sacramento to go to school, 400 miles from where we both lived. Fell apart within a month. However years later I did meet my true love online in 97. I was still in So. Cal, she in Maine. Two years later we finally met face to face, I moved to Maine, over 10 years, two kids later, still together, in love and happy.

 

[Tatum]

I feel I need to add something else, on the heels of everyone's experiences. Our relationship has always been unusual, in that neither of us are jealous people in the least. We both do what we want, when we want...regardless of if the other is involved. If I want to go out with friends and he doesn't feel like it, it's not a problem. Vice versa is also true.

Heck, he missed my birthday four years running thanks to work. I was happy he made it this year! Life happens.

 

[chiefusmm]

I'm reminded of a song by Cheap Trick "Everything works if you let it" My wife and I have been together going on 20 years. Some of it living in sin some of it with paper. Because of my job I've never been home more than 4 months out of a year, and never more than 30 days at a time. As long as you have trust and love it works. Parting does make the heart grow fonder and homecoming are a whole lot of fun.

 

[Tatum]

I'm reminded of a song by Cheap Trick "Everything works if you let it" My wife and I have been together going on 20 years. Some of it living in sin some of it with paper. Because of my job I've never been home more than 4 months out of a year, and never more than 30 days at a time. As long as you have trust and love it works. Parting does make the heart grow fonder and homecoming are a whole lot of fun.

Yes! Hubby is gone a LOT on business for two days here, five days there. I swear it makes us appreciate our time together more!

 

[Mario]

A couple of years ago I had a relationship with a girl whol lived in the south of Germany while I was still based in Berlin, which is almost at the opposite end. The reason why it worked for us was that, as a musician, I was constantly touring Germany anyway, so after a show I could always sneak out and make my way down to the southern tip of the country. After a year I finally moved down there - and almost completely stopped working as a musican...

 

[Gracie Lee]

I say never give up! It rarely works out, but that doesn't mean you can't beat the odds. I'm kinda seeing someone who lives across the country, but we're trying. You can't have a doubtful heart, or a doubtful mind.

My man and I have been together for 5 1/2 years, and he moved to Philly last summer, whilst I stayed in Tampa. I know in my heart that no one else will love or challenge me the way he does, and we have the deepest trust in each other. I know I sound like a pathetic wimp, but I've been through it before, and if you *don't* have that level of trust and commitment, it truly is doomed. However, I also believe that if it's meant to be, it will be, regardless of some temporary separation. My advice is to stay where you're at. If you manage the distance, then kudos to you, you've got a great connection and a future together. It's far more important for you to make the right choices for you-singular than for you to try to make the right choices for you-plural.

As it happens, our story is very similar to yours, only I suspect we're older I have a good job, which just happens to share a campus with a good college, and when he finished his Ph.D. last summer, I decided to go back for an M.S. at the school I'm next door to. To continue in his chosen career track, he left for a very good position in Philly, but my plans for a degree work out best here. We've been apart for almost a year, and we're counting on at least another year of separation, possibly more. We see each other for a week or so every two to three months, as $$ allows. With airfare jumping, I suspect it will be less. We've also just decided to start planning our wedding when we are able to move in together. It can be done.