Want to buy or sell something? Check the classifieds
  • The Fedora Lounge is supported in part by commission earning affiliate links sitewide. Please support us by using them. You may learn more here.

I am embarassed to wear a fedora

qwerty

Familiar Face
Messages
69
Location
Serbia
Last seven days I spent on the coast of Lake Ohrid. And I have an interesting story to tell to all of you fedora lovers.
Me and my friends needed to come to this place that was 5km away from Ohrid and we did not know the way to get there. So we figured that we should hire a cab to get us there. Since there was six of us that was not such a good idea. So we decided to hire a boat to get us there via lake.
On the trip there a lot of interesting stuff happen, mainly becouse the guy stiring the boat was a character. But one thing is something that concerns you too. At some point we asked him why does he wear the hat he was wearing. The hat was tipical fisherman's hat with just slightly higher top. But very small brim.
I asked him: Why do you wear that hat?
He sad: I have to protect myself from the sun. I work here from early morning to late in the evening.
Me: But why don't you get a bigger hat, with a bigger brim?
Him: What? A sombrero?
Me: No, a regular hat (I was thinking maybe even tilley)
He then sad: I know what you are talking about, but I am too embarassed to wear a fedora.
And that was sad by a middle age guy, who actualy had a need for a good hat.
What do you think about that?
 

mysterygal

Call Me a Cab
Messages
2,667
Location
Washington
very sad, but how he feels could be from where he's from...sounds like fedora's are not exactly the norm around there. I have found them to be very classy on men and absolutely love the look...if anything,not knowing how much you talked to the guy, but your influence could definetely helped in steering that guy towards a much better hat choice
 

ledsled

One of the Regulars
Messages
185
Location
CT
me too

I hate to admit it, but I am embarrassed to wear a hat too. I don't let it stop me, but it does slow me up. For example, I will wear a hat while commuting in my car, but as soon as I get to my home street I will take it off... same with work, I will leave my hat in the car (except on the worst weather days). I cannot seem to get over this silly embarrassment.

Finding the Fedora Lounge has been a help, though. It's nice to know that others share the same interest. I am a newcomer to wearing hats. I've always just worn knit hats in the winter. I've never liked baseball caps. Only last summer when mowing a 2 acre field did I notice the need for a hat to protect me from the burning sun. That is when the first glimmer of awareness of the benefits of wearing a hat started.

My father wore a hat. My grandfather wore a hat. Why did I never think about wearing a hat before? I don't know. Maybe it has something to do with not wanting to be THAT old? But alas, I AM that old.

Funny thing is when I first wore a hat recently, I found it to be very comforting. It brought back early childhood memories of a hat that came with a Sunday suit outfit my mother got me. Now, wearing a hat is not only a "coming of age" for me, but also very much a comfort object.... and there's nothing wrong with trying to feel comfortable.

I wear a hat now when I walk the dog around the neighborhood. I am trying to overcome the feeling of embarrassment, but it is taking effort. Perhaps part of it is that people who have known me for years have never seen me wearing a hat before?

I'd be interested in hearing other people's feelings when they first wore a hat and how they resolved any feelings of embarrassment.
 

thefedorastore

A-List Customer
Messages
421
Location
Prosser, WA til fall
Look, That guy is trying to be different!

I assume the embarassment comes from a feeling that perhaps people are thinking you are trying too hard to be different or eccentric. Well, why not! Wearing a nice hat is not trying too hard. It's all a matter of self confidence. Those that think poorly of your hat wear have their own myriad of issues that they must overcome, and probably insecurities that they don't have the confidence to also wear a nice hat. Wear it with pride...., it's much like having a red tiny little British sports car when everyone else is drivng a '69 Chevelle!

Duane
 

Raindog

One of the Regulars
Hi Ledsled,
I found I had to do it in stages. Started off wearing a black cap, luckily it was winter. I had only compliments, so my confidence grew.
Next started wearing more outlandish hats such as my Afghan rebel hat. That drew some looks, but no comments.
Bolstered on by that I wore a Stetson (one in my Avatar) on odd occasions. That drew the usual Indiana Jones comments, despite being totally different in my eyes to the Jones one!
I now wear all my hats any time I want.
What also helped is the fact that I'm 41 years old and getting cantankerous. Who the hell do these people think they are saying anything to me? I just ignore any comments, or if they push it just look at them saying nothing. That shuts them up.
Personally I think we should cut their tongues out with red hot pincers. Have I crossed the line? Is that a bit much?:eusa_doh:

Jeff.
 

TommySalieri

A-List Customer
Messages
332
Location
Houston, Texas
Yes. That's diffinitely too much! lol People are people and well, what can you do?

I noticed that this seems to be a big issue with some people here. Who cares what others will think about you?! There isin't a law against choosing what you want to wear; so what should stop you from pursuing happiness and satisfaction with your appearence? You only live an average of 80 years and even then, 80 years isin't enough!

If you think you guys have it bad, imagine being a 20 year old with a fedora hat in a big Southern California city. I know that people are staring at me and I don't care. I am confident in what I say or do, so I could care less what Average Joe has to say about my tastes. The ladies dig it, my daughter loves it, and the men respect it. I love my hats and I love the look.

If us young guys can do it with ease, then you older folks shouldn't have a problem. Just some food for thought. ;)
 
TommySalieri said:
I noticed that this seems to be a big issue with some people here. Who cares what others will think about you?! There isin't a law against choosing what you want to wear; so what should stop you from pursuing happiness and satisfaction with your appearence? You only live an average of 80 years and even then, 80 years isin't enough!

My sentiments exactly. Who cares what people think? I don't. Of course, I have been characterized as eccentric since I was 20. :p I was probably eccentric before that but.... I have always been a more lead than follow sort.
Comments? I get 99% compliments. The 1% can go someplace hot where fire and brimstone smells fill the air. :p

Regards,

J
 

Russ

One of the Regulars
Messages
209
Location
Tokyo
Hmmm, I can't identify at all with this feeling. Either I have a screw loose, or the environment I grew up in was more accepting of hats (Ohio from the 1960s to the 1980s).

When I was a boy scout I had a nice felt campaign hat and thought nothing of wearing it with my uniform. The standard issue was that flat cloth cap, but the campaign hats were also official options. In college I had a wide brim leather hat which I wore without the slightest reservation. I never even considered myself a hat person.

When I started wearing hats again in my 30s I never gave it a second thought (and I had moved to Japan by this time). I get a lot of looks and a few comments. Last week on the bullet train a little girl said "strange old man" (hen na ojisan) as I walked by, but I just turned around and grinned as the mother covered the girl's mouth and gave an embarrassed smile. It was a positive, humorous experience and my reaction reinforced that.

My self image is not formed by the opinions of a few others who can't tolerate nonconformity . Indeed one reason I wear a hat is to not blend in with the crowd, I used to joke that if everybody wore a hat then I would stop because I would no longer be unique. :)

Okay, maybe I do have a screw loose.
 

Bargepole

New in Town
Messages
42
Who's looking?

I don't know whether things are different here, or whether I am just thick-skinned or what... but I honestly have no sense of others' gaze... nobody's looking. Or, for those who are, it's merely a bit of interesting street furniture in their day. "Oy! Indie! Har har har!" just means they've noticed and want to tell you they've noticed. Nothing else. For most people. a hat doesn't even register.

Your mileage... etc.... of course.
 

hatflick1

Practically Family
Messages
623
Hat Fear

Hats are definitely catching on here in Los Angeles, and I don't mean baseball caps. Recently I have spotted fedoras on heads all over town. Some are the current stingy brim styles. However, classic fedoras are being worn in numbers, especially in Hollywood, Silver Lake, and Echo Park. What with all of the vintage shops locally, there may be more of an appreciation for 'the old and classy.' When I wear my fedoras I often have guys (half my age) stop and ask where I got them. A clerk at Trader Joe's wanted to buy one right off of my head. My hope is...the enthusiasm spreads. Might take the fear out of what should be just plain fun.
 

J.B.

Practically Family
Messages
677
Location
Hollywood
hatflick1 said:
Hats are definitely catching on here in Los Angeles...

Yep! L.A.'s the Place!

I had a guy stop while I was buyin' a Lotto tikkett yesterday and ask me to write down the website address for him where I had bought the sky piece I was wearing...! :eek:
 

Jake Sullivan

One of the Regulars
Messages
167
Location
Central Illinois
Don't Sweat the small stuff!!

I am a new fedora owner myself, I am a Paramedic by trade. I have worn my hat to work and placed it on the hat rack in the ED. My uniform looks like a police officers ( polyester yuk!!) I don't wear it in the Ambulance but I do wear it to and from work, I just like it.
My wife says it is embarrassing and people at work grin, but they always ask why and where I purchased it. That just tells me they are curious and simply don't have the guts to be original and true to themselves.

Remember the leader of any pack usually stands alone.
 

Andykev

I'll Lock Up
Bartender
Messages
4,118
Location
The Beautiful Diablo Valley
Just put it on and go......

ledsled said:
I hate to admit it, but I am embarrassed to wear a hat too. I don't let it stop me, but it does slow me up. For example, I will wear a hat while commuting in my car, but as soon as I get to my home street I will take it off... same with work, I will leave my hat in the car (except on the worst weather days). I cannot seem to get over this silly embarrassment.


Hey, I wear my hat every day. Now when I don't , co workers say "Sarge, where's your hat?"

Ya, used to be the same with me. Comments "hey, here comes the Daily Planet"..or "Indy"...ya we've heard it all!


I say TO HELL with it and FULL STEAM AHEAD!

I am light complected Irish. SKIN CANCER. I just say that and they shut up.

Besides, you have to look inside yourself, be secure in who YOU are, and how YOU feel about yourself. And I say, as long as it isn't "arrestable" indecency". then GO FOR IT!

If you worry too much about it, remember, one day, your relatives will dress you for the final time, and you :eek: won't be able to say anything about it!;)
 

Benny Holiday

My Mail is Forwarded Here
Messages
3,802
Location
Sydney Australia
For those of us who graduated to Golden Era from the Rockabilly scene

I wish I had ten cents for every time I heard some clown call out "Elvis" from the years 1984-1995. Now it's "Hey, what are you, Al Capone?" or "Are you a gangster?"

I like to turn the tables on any idiot with an oversized mouth and the poor social grace to make such a comment. You soon find that, if you stereotype what they're wearing, they soon feel offended. If they're wearing a tracksuit, for instance, and I smile sarcastically and say, "Yeah, and you must be an Olympic athlete, you look so . . . uh, 'fit' in your little outfit," you can guarantee they'll suddenly feel upset. To which I add, "Oh, didn't you like some stranger commenting on your appearance? Funny that."

Basically, I have no time for rude people. If they can't be complimentary, they can shut the hell up and mind their own business. Of course, when I wear a full drape zoot suit, they just stare, with no exaggerated cultural reference at all to draw on!:p
 

J. M. Stovall

Call Me a Cab
Messages
2,152
Location
Historic Heights Houston, Tejas
When I started wearing my grandfathers Fedoras about ten years ago, I would sometimes have this uneasy, almost embarassed feeling too. Maybe I've been lucky, but as I would wear them more and more, and now pretty much every day, never in that entire time did I get anything but positive comments (mostly "cool hat, where did you get it?"). But like Rindog said, now that I'm 44 it's probably that I just would care less and less as I got older.
 

Forum statistics

Threads
109,144
Messages
3,075,070
Members
54,124
Latest member
usedxPielt
Top