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Do you tell?

PrettySquareGal

I'll Lock Up
Messages
4,003
Location
New England
Both of my grandmothers never revealed their age. It was an unspeakable and to ask a lady was in bad form. "21 plus" was the standard reply they gave. (My living grandmother now brags on turning 90 this summer.) I always said I'd be open about my age because I'd have nothing to hide.

Ah, youth.

I've always come out with it, but now I am starting to wonder if I should stop. Why? I've noticed that people have preconceived ideas about what a certain age should look like, or how one should behave. I like to be assessed for me, not an age bracket.

What do you ladies say if asked your age, not by a doctor or on a form where you can't fudge it, but by anyone you happen to meet and inquires? Fellows, do you ask a lady her age? And if you do, do you always respond that she couldn't possibly be said age because she looks a lot younger (and if you say that, is it always true?)
 

RetroMom

One of the Regulars
Messages
251
Location
Connecticut
I'm turning 40 at the end of the year :eek: .

But I don't mind admitting my age. Although, no one has ever asked. This may be because I'm happy with where my life is now. As I have gotten older, I have more self confidence and am more self assured than I ever was in my 20's.
 

LizzieMaine

Bartender
Messages
33,825
Location
Where The Tourists Meet The Sea
It depends on who's doing the asking, really -- if it's just a casual acquaintance I might fudge it a bit by asking "well, how old do you think I am," or something like that.

Thing is, I sometimes have to stop and think for a minute to remember how old I am. For a long time, the first age that came to mind was "twenty-eight," which I haven't been in, um, a while -- and now, more and more I actually have to do the math to figure out how old I am. Either I'm less conscious of my age than I used to be, or I'm careening so fast into middle age that I just can't keep up....
 

Amapola

Familiar Face
Messages
56
Location
Central Illinois
So far, I haven't thought twice about telling my age. But, as I am exactly 1/3 a century old, it gets closer to that question of whether you tell or not. I've always thought it was classy to hear women not say their age either in real life or in movies---it leaves people wondering, and seeing how self-assured she is. I don't know if I'm cool enough to carry that off though!

I have found that the age question for me comes when someone knows how old my daughter is. I think they are basicaly being nosy, wondering when I was pregnant with her!
 

fortworthgal

Call Me a Cab
Messages
2,646
Location
Panther City
I turned 30 late last year, and I've never thought twice about revealing it. But, I am very much the type of person to whom age is nothing more than a number. I often have to stop and try to remember how old I am, like LizzieMaine said.

Like Amapola said, I've always thought it was cool in movies when women didn't reveal their age. But I also don't know if I am cool enough to pull that off!
 

scotrace

Head Bartender
Staff member
Messages
14,393
Location
Small Town Ohio, USA
PrettySquareGal said:
Fellows, do you ask a lady her age? And if you do, do you always respond that she couldn't possibly be said age because she looks a lot younger (and if you say that, is it always true?)

Never. Because as a child, my mother and grandmother set me straight about asking such questions. So it just feels inappropriate to ask. I don't allow my daughters to ask such questions of their elders.

If a woman offers the information:
If she looks her age or older, I just give my own age in return. "Really? I'm xx."
If she does, indeed, look younger then her years, I usually try something like "45? I'm not sure what 45 is supposed to look like but I would have guessed much younger."

I wonder how men feel about being asked? I don't hesitate if the question comes from someone my age or older. But if from an obviously younger person, I stall 'em.

So, PrettySquareGal, you're seeking advice on anti-aging treatments and becoming uncomfortable with revealing your age. I see a pattern emerging... :p *



* I can feel Grandma winding up to hit me...
Also, my wife and I went on a hunt through a dozen drug stores. Walgreen's was the only source for the little German tins of Nivea creme. We bought several at 99c.
 

PrettySquareGal

I'll Lock Up
Messages
4,003
Location
New England
scotrace said:
So, PrettySquareGal, you're seeking advice on anti-aging treatments and becoming uncomfortable with revealing your age. I see a pattern emerging... :p *

* I can feel Grandma winding up to hit me...

Are you calling ME Grandma? :rage:

For the record, I have no plans to dye a premature gray. I have a few. I'm also looking forward to 65 when I let myself go and start smoking again. I will NOT join that dreadful Red Hat Ladies Society.
 

Lauren

Distinguished Service Award
Messages
5,060
Location
Sunny California
I don't ask people their age unless I feel really comforatable around them or have known them for a while. I usually don't have a problem telling people how old I am unless I think that they'll look down on me because of it. The thing I hate is when people are condescending and saw "Well, you're only what, 19?" For the record, I'm 25. :)
 

mysterygal

Call Me a Cab
Messages
2,667
Location
Washington
I grew up being taught never to ask a lady her age, so I just never do, unless it's offered which is hardly ever! :p With myself, I've always been comfortable with my age, it helps also when most of your friends are a few years ahead of you also ;) I have no problem being asked, since I have a sense of pride in my age, like fortworthgal said, there's a confidence I have now at this age that I didn't have in my early 20's.
Lauren, I know how you feel, whenever I go out with my hair in a ponytail, with little make-up (and especially overalls) I still sometimes get asked when paying with a debit, 'Is this your mother's card?' I'ts funny most of the time...oh, but being carded whenever I order a drink at a restraunt though is starting to get very old....I"m a grown up now!:rage: :D
 

LizzieMaine

Bartender
Messages
33,825
Location
Where The Tourists Meet The Sea
Lauren Henline said:
The thing I hate is when people are condescending and saw "Well, you're only what, 19?"

Sad thing is, that kind of stuff never really stops. I often write in a field dominated by seventysomething men, who often look at me and say "How can *you* know anything about this, you're only forty(mumble)..."
 

scotrace

Head Bartender
Staff member
Messages
14,393
Location
Small Town Ohio, USA
No. NO.

PrettySquareGal said:
Are you calling ME Grandma? :rage:


Yeesh. No Way Never.

MY Grandmother. I can hear her scolding when I say such things, or am tempted to not put something back where i found it, or when I see a cobweb in a corner.
 

Lauren

Distinguished Service Award
Messages
5,060
Location
Sunny California
Exactly! I'm glad you gals understand. Like sometime last year I was at an antique store and I saw a vintage dressed marked "Victorian". Thinking I was helping, I went and told the lady at the counter an approximate year from the dress. She looked at me like "What do you know, you're just a kid." It irked me something awful :rage:
 

mysterygal

Call Me a Cab
Messages
2,667
Location
Washington
With being in my twenties, I get a lot of that. I'm excited to turn 30 actually,especially after hearing from a lot of women of how when they reached that age, along with it came a new sense of respect from others
 

PrettySquareGal

I'll Lock Up
Messages
4,003
Location
New England
mysterygal said:
With being in my twenties, I get a lot of that. I'm excited to turn 30 actually,especially after hearing from a lot of women of how when they reached that age, along with it came a new sense of respect from others

It's true in the world of business.
 
I've always come out with it, but now I am starting to wonder if I should stop. Why? I've noticed that people have preconceived ideas about what a certain age should look like, or how one should behave. I like to be assessed for me, not an age bracket.

I have to agree with that. I am 33 and people always think I am in my early 20's. But on the other hand, in the area I live if you are over 30 and have a child you are expected to look and act a certain way, and that is not a look I want to achive. It's almost as if you need to look like you are about 50. Wear boring clothes and have your hair cut to look like a man. I want to be young and sexy as long as I can.
 

PrettySquareGal

I'll Lock Up
Messages
4,003
Location
New England
CherryRed said:
I have to agree with that. I am 33 and people always think I am in my early 20's. But on the other hand, in the area I live if you are over 30 and have a child you are expected to look and act a certain way, and that is not a look I want to achive. It's almost as if you need to look like you are about 50. Wear boring clothes and have your hair cut to look like a man. I want to be young and sexy as long as I can.

BINGO!
 

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