Creed of the more mature lady....

[AllaboutEve]

I've picked up the fact that quite a lot of us ladies here who are over 35 or so having a bit of a confidence crisis. I'm exactly the same having turned 36 in January and I find myself worrying about all kinds of stuff that I really needn't. Am I too old, do I look like the proverbial mutton, should I be wearing a dress with bows, is it too late for pinafores, can I still wear OTT jewellery...........etc, etc, etc.

I mean honestly I have seen all your avatars and lovely hair do's, all of your gorgeous well chosen clothes and you are all beautiful and elegant and have nothing to worry about at all. I think that it might be nice to offer each other a little solidarity here.......

So I thought that we could have a kind of belated news year's resolution here, things that you will NOT GIVE YOURSELF A HARD TIME ABOUT ANYMORE JUST BECAUSE YOU KEEP TELLING YOURSELF YOU'RE TOO OLD!
I don't want to exclude anyone so if your one of the younger set and want to add your ideas then please do!

So here's a start:
I will reclaim the colour pink and wear my sweaters as tight as I choose!
I will not restrict myself to demure earrings.
I will not worry about the fact that I no longer have a svelt behind and enjoy the fact that I fill my skirts out properly these dayslol lol
I am not too old to do a pin-up shoot (inspiration courtesy of the most lovely Kamikat)

 

[Lulu-in-Ny]

I am on board with this 100%. I turn 35 in a few months, and I have begun to worry that I am soon to be "too old" to pay attention to this the way that I do. The clothes, the hair, the level of commitment... But, the way I see it, everyone makes a decision every morning on what to wear, how to behave, etc., and this is the way I choose to execute that decision. If some women want to give it up and do the mom jeans and embroidered shirts thing, so be it. That is their decision. I just opt for something that requires a little more discipline and time. And, if we stop spending the time to make ourselves feel good about ourselves, then, well...
That being said...

I will not give up any of my crinolines, and I will wear them proudly.
I will continue to sleep in curlers.
I will still wear stockings every day, even in Summer, because they make me feel like a Lady.
I will rest well in the knowledge that nothing I wear could be less age-appropriate than what I see a large majority of women walking around in.

 

[AllaboutEve]

I am on board with this 100%. I turn 35 in a few months, and I have begun to worry that I am soon to be "too old" to pay attention to this the way that I do. The clothes, the hair, the level of commitment... But, the way I see it, everyone makes a decision every morning on what to wear, how to behave, etc., and this is the way I choose to execute that decision. If some women want to give it up and do the mom jeans and embroidered shirts thing, so be it. That is their decision. I just opt for something that requires a little more discipline and time. And, if we stop spending the time to make ourselves feel good about ourselves, then, well...
That being said...

I will not give up any of my crinolines, and I will wear them proudly.
I will continue to sleep in curlers.
I will still wear stockings every day, even in Summer, because they make me feel like a Lady.
I will rest well in the knowledge that nothing I wear could be less age-appropriate than what I see a large majority of women walking around in.

Good for you Lulu, I must say that I am very pleased that you are not abandoning your crinolines,curlers, or your stockings! Lets hear it for us!!

 

[NoirDame]

A thought...

...many of the Golden Era ladies we knew (mothers, grandmothers) etc. kept it up their whole lives. So why not us?

My grandmother always had her hair curled and put on lipstick before leaving the house.

 

[Lulu-in-Ny]

My grandmother always had her hair curled and put on lipstick before leaving the house.

Very true... I remember, as a little girl, laying in bed at my grandmother's house at some ungodly hour of the morning, listening to her in the bathroom fixing her hair and getting dressed...

 

[ohairas]

Eve, I'm so very glad you brought this up as it's been heavy on my mind as well! I'll be turning 36 in April.
I've often wondered if I should wear bows in my hair. Kami's photos were inspiring, along with Ruby's.
I guess we should all just remember that we're only as old as we feel.
So here goes!
I will continue to dye my hair fun colors.
I will wear flowers and bows in my hair.
I will wear victory rolls.
I will wear sundresses while taking my son to the park.
I will rejoice that I did not succomb to the soccer mom look!

Nikki

 

[Idledame]

Guess what?--you go through it again at 40, and 50, and as long as you care. I keep saying I can't wait until I'm old enough to just not care, and just be an old bag with no makeup and my hair in a bun. But I still care at 58. Some people are truly capable of not caring what anyone thinks but most of us would be horrified if we found out everyone was laughing at us behind our backs. To be totally acceptable at all times can only be achieved by being so bland as to show no personality at all. Especially women my age. You see them all the time in their little matching polo shirt, elastic waist shorts and their fanny packs and they are nice and neat and comfortable and respectable and I just want to spray paint them green or something. The 70 year old lady I saw in 4" heels and a pink leopard top and a huge red hairdo and 20 bracelets was at least interesting but I was appalled when one of my friends pointed to her and said to me: "Hey that's you in 20 years". Finding that balance is difficult. I have a teenage daughter, so I have a live-in critic, which is helpful. I continue to worry when I do vintage. In films the older woman is almost never stylish. Whereas all you adorable young things, and that includes 35 year olds, look like you are dressed that way on purpose, that it is your style, I'm afraid I look like some crazy old bat who has escaped from a home and thinks it is 1945.

 

[Lady Day]

Oh cool!
Now when I season to a lovely 35 Ill know what to live by!

LD

 

[scarlett]

Oh I love this thread. Nikki, you are so right - you are only as old as you feel and depending on the type of day I've had that puts me somewhere between 5 and 80. I think you're never to old to wear bows, sundresses or anything else until you feel it doesn't suit you anymore. I like to believe a happy, confident woman can wear anything she wants and look great. I am 42 and recently did my first pinup shoot and I wear whatever I want everyday. Idledame, someday I too will be that redhead in the leopard print and high heels - just can't help myself.
Long hair
Tight fitting capris & tight sweaters
High heels
Pencil Skirts
Big eyelashes & dark red lips

 

[pin_up_pixie]

I am not quite 35 yet...but at 29 some people have started to make comments like, are you always gonna play dress up? Don't you think a natural hair color would be better? Aren't bows for little girls? Are you ever gonna grow out of this "phase"?

Well I have to say that I love the fact you beautiful ladies are out there, holding strong to your style. You are an inspiration to all of us.

So, I will....
Continue to dye my hair whatever color I want
Wear vintage whenever I want
Not let people make me feel bad for anything I choose to wear
Never stop wearing pink
Not let those around me, who don't understand my love of vintage, dictate what I wear or how I look.

 

[rubyredlocks]

:eusa_clap :eusa_clap :eusa_clap I'm so enjoying this post,what a great idea!
fftopic: Thank you Nikki!for including me as inspiration.

Here are my vows:
I will enter my 40s with open arms.They don't call them the fab 40s for nothing,ya know?
If it looks great on me then I'm wearing it.End of story.Fashion is not just for the young,but young at heart as well.
I will sport my short hair in a way that can never be described as matronly or dull.(The bubble cut is not our only option)

 

[LizzieMaine]

Hear, hear. In a couple months I turn 45, and can already hear 50 rumbling down the tracks in my direction. But I will never, ever, ever get a "menopausal helmet" haircut and start going around in puffy sweatshirts.

 

[Caledonia]

lol I just got a near menopausal helmet hair cut by mistake, and I'm only 44! So, having realised that short hair (and a little extra weight these days, not to mention the lines and aging skin) makes me look like my mother, here are my vows.

Grow out my hair and keep it that way, in great condition, just like my great grandma whose hair was long, wavy, gorgeous and pure white.

Remember that all my hats are vintage, therefore extremely elegant, and will suit white hair, so stop worrying about it, and stop planning for a decade hence - live now!!!

Keep those ankles and knees strong, and never, ever worry about a 4 inch heel, or a platform! Well, maybe when I'm 80....

Scent, scent, scent, every day.

Remember I am only 44 not 440, so do the 1930s thing and, "keep young and beautiful", inside at least, if outside becomes impossible!

 

[PrettySquareGal]

It is OK to flirt with fellows much younger than you.

 

[kamikat]

What a wonderful thread! I feel so honored that I have provided a bit of inspiration. That pin-up shoot was the best thing that could have happened to a fat, soccer mom. This time last year, I was living in mom jeans or worse frumpy denim jumpers. I had this great, high tech embroidery machine and I used it for soccer mom purposes! I turn 35 in a couple months and life is getting better and better every day! As for the lady with red hair, leopard prints and stilleto heels, I used to work for one. Sure, everyone else made fun of her leopard stretch pants and high heels mules (don't forget the long fake nails that matched her lips AND hair), but she LOVED her clothes and LOVED her look and was confident and happy and I always admired that.

I will continue to dye my hair whatever color makes me happy!
I will continue to wear black liquid eyeliner and heavy eyelashes!
I will continue to wear dresses that make me happy!
I will wear a swimsuit to the pool and actually swim, instead of hanging out with a big shirt covering me up.
I will continue to wear lots of black, because I like it.
I will not lighten my wardrobe palette just because some stylist says it will make me look younger.

 

[kamikat]

It is OK to flirt with fellows much younger than you.

This is one we all need to remember! Even for us married ladies! Flirting with younger gentlemen will give you a nice bump in self confidence.

 

[goldwyn girl]

I guess it's like this, no matter what you wear or how you look at any age some people will always disapprove or laugh, or offer "helpful suggestions" about how you can improve yourself. I have a friend in her mid 40's who is continually telling me she is an old lady now and must get her sleep, among other things that I never heard my grand mother say at 80.
So I vow never !!!! to be like that. If you feel young it shows, wear what you want not what you others think you should.

 

[TessTrueheart]

Great thread!

I turn 36 in august, but I've been at least 70 for years and years...
I'm way too demure, I need to spice things up! These are my vows:

I will wear MORE colour.
I will wear MORE jewellery. Big, shiny, glittery stuff too!
I will wear MORE make-up. Mascara and blush just doesn't cut it anymore.
I will, in an elegant and ladylike fashion, show a little bit of cleavage, as the girls are one of my best assets lol

 

[kerry]

Great thread, I am going to be 41 this year and am intending to dress however I want to for as long as I want to. I do however know that I no longer look so great in sleeveless tops and dont wear skirts above my knees.
I have found the whole vintage thing to be a sanity saver for me and has actually softened the blow of ageing.
I will keep dyeing my hair any colour I want to, its been red for twenty years so cant see it changing.
I will get a lifetimes supply of Russian red lipstick lol
I will dress like a lady as I will always be a lady, well most of the time anyway
I will continue to take inspiration from all the wonderful ladies of the Fedora Lounge

Kerry xxx

 

[kamikat]

I will dress like a lady as I will always be a lady, well most of the time anyway

Dressing like a lady doesn't mean you always have to act like one (see the post about flirting with younger men)