Clean Jokes

[Turnip]

 

[Trenchfriend]

Two old friends meet underways. One suggests to do a peeing contest.

After five minutes, one pisses on his shoes.
The other says: "Ok, you won!"

 

[Turnip]

 

[LostInTyme]

How many trees
does it take to make a forest?
I know it takes two trees
to hang a hammock,
and when that is done,
I don't care
about the rest of the question,
'cause now I can rest,
and stop thinking about
stupid crap.​

 

[LostInTyme]

A group of baboons is called a congress.

It all makes sense now.

 

[Turnip]

Be glad it’s no group of Bonobos

 

[Trenchfriend]

I saw a good joke today in electronic chain store.

"Spice Girls - Greatest Hits" CD

 

[Turnip]

 

[Trenchfriend]

 

[Trenchfriend]

GDR had wonderful banners on 1st May.

Somewhere, at the wall of a main cemetry:

"Out for the 1st May!"

 

[LostInTyme]

An orthopedic surgeon who specializes in joint replacement goes into a medical supply store and orders some prosthetics. He gets several knees and hips, a few shoulders and a couple of ankles. As the surgeon is getting ready to leave with the replacement joints the medical supply clerk asks, "Would you like a hand with that?"

 

[Hurricane Jack]

The mentality responsible for todays supply chain shortages.

 

[Turnip]

 

[Turnip]

 

[LostInTyme]

I went to the liquor store and bought a bottle of Jack Daniels. I then tied it to my bike carrier. After I thought about it, I decided that if I fell off the bike the JD would probably break.

So, I drank the bottle of JD. It's a good thing I did that, because I fell off the bike seven times on the way home.

 

[Turnip]

 

[Hurricane Jack]

Someone do me a favor and pour me some Jäger
And I'll grab my guitar and play

 

[Hurricane Jack]

“Never trust a mechanic who drives new cars. They’re either charging too much money for their work, or they can’t keep an old car running – maybe both.”

 

[BobHufford]

 

[Turnip]