Clean Jokes

[Turnip]

 

[GHT]

 

[Turnip]

 

[Frunobulax]

Woman 1: "I didn't sleep with my husband until after we were married, what about you?"

Woman 2: "I don't know, what was your husband's name again?"

 

[LostInTyme]

BEWARE THE HAND! (of a 1 year old birthday girl)

 

[LostInTyme]

Who remembers the swine flu?

 

[Turnip]

 

[Trenchfriend]

How did Burger King get Dairy Queen pregnant?

He forgot to wrap his Whopper.

 

[Trenchfriend]

Why Orphans can't play Baseball?

They don't know, where home is.

 

[Trenchfriend]

What's a DJ's son's name?

E-Riiik...

 

[Turnip]

Confucius says:

It doesn't matter whether the glass is half full or half empty.
What matters is how much beer is left in the fridge.

 

[Turnip]

That´s what i recently dragged out of my Semmel bag...

 

[Trenchfriend]

What have girls and the Mafia in common?

One slip of your tongue and your in deep shit...

 

[LostInTyme]

ON DRUGS.............

Do the manufacturers and marketing people think that by adding a Q to the name it will make us more likely to purchase it? And, how the hell are we supposed to know that we are allegeric to the drug before we take it? And, why are the side effects always what the drug is attempting to cure or stop? And, if death is a side effect how would I know to stop taking it?

 

[LostInTyme]

I never had restless leg syndrome, but I did watch wrestle-mania once.

 

[LostInTyme]

We'll be turning our clocks back soon. Gaining an extra hour in 2022 is like getting an extra track on a Yoko Ono album.

 

[Turnip]

 

[Turnip]

 

[LostInTyme]

A man is talking to God. “God, how long is a million years?”
God answers, “To me, it’s about a minute.”
“God, how much is a million dollars?”
“To me, it’s a penny.”
“God, may I have a penny?”
“Wait a minute.”

 

[Turnip]