Clean Jokes

[BobHufford]

 

[Bamaboots]

 

[Trenchfriend]

The Dead comes to Johannes Heesters.

He knocks on the door and Johannes Heesters opens:
"Simone, it's for you."

 

[Turnip]

 

[Trenchfriend]

Peter and his wife in the kitchen in the morning.

"Peter, look at Millers. He always hugs his wife, when he leaves home for work. Why aren't you do that?"

"But I don't know her, really!"

 

[GHT]

Points of Enlightenment:

 

[Turnip]

 

[Turnip]

November 11, 2022, carnival season begins in Rhineland, northern Germany is out of control.

 

[Turnip]

 

[Trenchfriend]

Two friends meet in the city.

"Woah, yesterday, we were at a heavy musician party and they had a golden toilet, I tell you!"

"What? Come on, you're kidding!"

"Nope, it was really golden! Come on, we're going to their house and I will show you!"

"Fine."

At the house, ding dong and a woman opens the door.

"Hi, I was at Manfred's party, yesterday and I wanted to show my friend your golden toilet, because he doesn't believe me.

"MAAANDFRED, here's the idiot, that shitted in your Tuba!!"

 

[Turnip]

 

[BobHufford]

Really cold out there today …

 

[Turnip]

 

[Trenchfriend]

In an open air bath the bath keeper watches three old ladies swimming very sporty, without a brake for an hour!

After one hour the first lady comes out of the water and the bath keeper says:
"My respect, Ma'am!"

"Young man, you know, I'm 70 years old and I was german champion in long-distance swimming."

After another hour, the second lady comes out of the water.
"My respect, Ma'am!"

"You know, young man, I'm 80 years old and I was european champion in long-distance swimming."

After another hour, the third lady comes out of the water.
"My respect, Ma'am!"

"You know, young man, I'm 90 years old and..."

"Let me guess! You were world champion in long-distance swimming?"

"No, I was a prostitute in Venice and made house calls."

 

[Trenchfriend]

A nun's car broke down and she's waiting at the roadside to get a ride. An Opel Manta driver comes by.

Nun: "Could I have a lift?"

Manta driver: "Of course! Batman's friends are also my friends!!"

 

[My Scooter]

 

[My Scooter]

 

[Trenchfriend]

Old children joke:

A cowboy visits a Barbershop. When he comes out, the pony is gone...

 

[Turnip]

 

[Trenchfriend]

A kangaroo hops throught the outback. Suddenly, a pinguin looks out of it's pouch, throws up and says:
"Damn school exchange!!"