Clean Jokes

[Frunobulax]

The other day I gave $5 to a homeless guy, and a lady behind me scolded me and said he'd just use it for drugs. So I went back and confronted him and asked where I could get drugs for $5.

 

[Hurricane Jack]

 

[BobHufford]

 

[Turnip]

 

[Frunobulax]

Scientist (talking to God): We have made great strides in science so that we now rival the power of even God. We have created androids, artificial intelligence, and have figured out how to grow meat in labs. We can now create life, just like you!

"Well," says God, "let's put it to the test." God reaches down, forms a ball of clay into a man, and recreates Adam. "

The scientist reaches down and grabs a ball of clay, and God puts his hand out, "Nope, make your own clay."

 

[Turnip]

 

[Turnip]

 

[Frunobulax]

My mother-in-law was over for a visit, and as we sat down to dinner she asked, "Why does your dog keep staring at me?"

I said, "Because you're using her plate!"

 

[BobHufford]

My wife and I laughed and laughed over this one. There hasn’t been a Hufford dog without at least three nicknames.

Our oldest Poodle was named Isleta. Then became Izzy, then Busy Izzy, then Bizzah, then Izzah Da Bizzah Da Boom De Boom, then just Boomie. There may be more I’m not remembering just now.

 

[Turnip]

 

[Turnip]

 

[My Scooter]

 

[Turnip]

 

[Turnip]

 

[Zombie_61]

Okay, this time I'm absolutely certain that I laughed harder at this than I should have.

 

[Turnip]

„Optician Nolte withdrawed from business life two months later.“

 

[My Scooter]

 

[BobHufford]

 

[LostInTyme]

 

[Turnip]

Summertime