Clean Jokes

[Frunobulax]

A man was vacationing in Florida for the first time and visited the famous Pier 60 in Clearwater. Wondering how many boards made up the surface of the pier, he decided to count the slits between the boards to determine the number. He started walking along the pier, counting slits, but lost track of exactly where he was and walked off the end of the pier and drowned.

The moral? When you're out of slits, you're out of pier!

 

[Turnip]

 

[Turnip]

 

[Zombie_61]

 

[Frunobulax]

 

[Trenchfriend]

This should get a "Cheesiest Pickup Line Award"!:

"Hey girl, if you would have been on Titanic, the iceberg would have melted before colliding!"

 

[Zombie_61]

I was at a thrift store yesterday and saw an old transistor radio on one of the shelves. Next to the radio was a sign that said, "Radio for sale, $1.00. Volume knob stuck on high."

I thought, "I can't turn that down."

 

[Frunobulax]

Oh, you just knew they were coming...

 

[Turnip]

 

[Zombie_61]

 

[Turnip]

Bavarians love Mother Nature. On Sunday mornings you can find many out in the green…

 

[Zombie_61]

^ I suppose some could say I'm a failed Irishman/Scotsman/German, but at least I can honestly and happily say I've never been addicted to alcohol.

 

[BobHufford]

Sorry in advance …

 

[Turnip]

 

[Turnip]

 

[BobHufford]

Over 200 dead crows were found on Highway 54. The cause of death appeared to be from vehicular impacts. During analysis it was noted that varying colors of paints were found on the bird's beaks and claws. By analyzing these paint residues it was found that 98% of the crows were killed by motorbikes, while only 2% were killed by cars.
An ornithological behaviorist was hired to determine if there was a cause for the disproportionate percentages of motorbike kills versus car kills. He concluded that when crows eat road kill they always have a lookout crow to warn of danger. They discovered that while all the lookout crows could shout "Cah", not a single one could shout, "Bike."

 

[Zombie_61]

 

[Turnip]

 

[Frunobulax]

God: Hey, what are those people doing down there?

Angel: They're making milk from almonds.

God: What? I gave them, like, eight things to get milk from.

Angel: They don't like those.

God: ...

 

[Trenchfriend]

"You can't treat a car like a human. A car needs love."

Walter Röhrl