Clean Jokes

[Frunobulax]

^^^^^^^What he said.

 

[Hurricane Jack]

 

[Frunobulax]

I started running today, but I only made it two blocks because I forgot something.

I forgot I'm old, out of shape, and can't run farther than two blocks.

 

[Turnip]

 

[Turnip]

 

[Hurricane Jack]

 

[Hurricane Jack]

First sign of Spring

 

[Zombie_61]

 

[My Scooter]

 

[Trenchfriend]

"Hey Gustav, old friend! What's going on?"

"Hi, Peter!! I have nothing to tell, all is fine. My wife is an angel."

"You're lucky, man, mine is still alive!"

 

[Turnip]

Translated to North German:

„Unn?“

„Mutt.“

 

[Trenchfriend]

Really happened to me.

I typed "Kieler Sprotten" in english language Wikipedia.

""Did you mean killer spotted?""

 

[Turnip]

 

[Frunobulax]

Went out to dinner the other night, only to find a 45 minute wait at the restaurant we chose. So I pulled out my phone, put it to my ear and loudly said, "You better get over here now. She's out with another guy!"

Immediately, four tables opened up as the couples fled the restaurant.

 

[BobHufford]

 

[Frunobulax]

In other news, in solidarity with Neil Young and Joni Mitchell, Milli Vanilli has demanded somebody else's songs be removed from Spotify.

 

[Turnip]

 

[Frunobulax]

Called my wife the other day and asked her if she'd like me to pick up Fish and Chips on my way home from work. She just grunted and hung up the phone.

...sometimes I think she regrets letting me name the twins.

 

[BobHufford]

My wife shared this one with me this morning.

 

[Turnip]