Clean Jokes

[Zombie_61]

I don't know whether he is about to bark at me or invade Ukraine View attachment 400034

Maybe we should send in one of those "adventurer" types to spy on him.

 

[Bamaboots]

That's the late great moonshiner Popcorn Sutton. It was Sutton's widow that Hank Williams Jr bought the recipe & naming rights from, to take it legal.

i recognized him. Didn't know about Hank Jr..

 

[Bamaboots]

Actual text my wife received from her employer the other day:

THIS IS A TEXT MESSAGE FROM (employer redacted). IF YOU DON'T RECEIVE THIS PLEASE LET US KNOW.

Pretty sure I've worked for that same outfit. Yeah, and if the phone doesn't ring it's me.

 

[Hurricane Jack]

i recognized him. Didn't know about Hank Jr..

Always wondered who got his Ford Model T trucks?

 

[GHT]

Pretty sure I've worked for that same outfit. Yeah, and if the phone doesn't ring it's me.

You beat me to it. Ambiguity rules, if that's ok with you.

 

[Turnip]

 

[Frunobulax]

Whst did Humphrey Bogart say to the girl next to him in geometry class?

"Here's looking at Euclid."

 

[Frunobulax]

 

[Hurricane Jack]

 

[Turnip]

 

[Turnip]

 

[Frunobulax]

My wife asked me to stop at KFC on the way home and pick her up a two-piece dinner - breast and a leg. So, being a dutiful husband I rolled through the pick-up window and placed my order, a two-piece dinner with a breast and a leg.

The lady at the window asked, "Which side would you like?"I
I thought about it a bit, and said, ",Well, I'm not certain it really matters, but how about the right side?"
"No," she said through her laughter, "mashed potatoes or wedge fries?"

 

[Trenchfriend]

There are only two reasons in the world, why men start to drink.

Either, they got no woman, or they got one...

 

[Trenchfriend]

Two old friends met on the street.

"Hey, buddy! Why you look so grim?"

"Man, I'm playing lotto for such a long time now and never hit the jackpot, although I was really near by, some times."

"What are you lottery numbers?"

"I always take the same. 2 - 4 - 7 - 1 2 - 19 - 44

"Really? For special reasons?"

"No, I handle it kind of traditional. I took the numbers from my father. And he got them from grandpa."

2nd Army, 4th Divison, 7th Batallion, 12th Unit, 1944. Ok, he never won anything with it, too...

 

[Frunobulax]

There are only two reasons in the world, why men start to drink.

Either, they got no woman, or they got one...

Women. Can't live with 'em...

Pass the Beer Nuts.

 

[Hurricane Jack]

 

[GHT]

My wife asked me to stop at KFC on the way home and pick her up a two-piece dinner - breast and a leg. So, being a dutiful husband I rolled through the pick-up window and placed my order, a two-piece dinner with a breast and a leg.

The lady at the window asked, "Which side would you like?"I
I thought about it a bit, and said, ",Well, I'm not certain it really matters, but how about the right side?"
"No," she said through her laughter, "mashed potatoes or wedge fries?"

Like you, I had to think about that.
It comes from thinking that fast food is the gruesome excuse that they serve on aircraft.

 

[Frunobulax]

How do Canadians keep their bacon from curling in the pan?

They take away it's brooms.

 

[Trenchfriend]

How do Canadians keep their bacon from curling in the pan?

They take away it's brooms.

"Brooms" stands for "bristles"?

 

[BobHufford]

"Brooms" stands for "bristles"?