Clean Jokes

[GHT]

View attachment 288457

It took me a while, but I got there.

 

[GHT]

A couple were visiting Moscow, taking in the sights of Red Square, when the man felt a drop hit his nose. “I think it’s raining,” he said to his wife. “No," she said, "that felt more like snow to me." “No, I’m sure it was just rain,” he insisted.
Well, as these things go, they were about to have a serious domestic about whether it was raining or snowing.

“Let’s not fight about it!” the man said, "you see that guide, the fellow with Rudolph on his name tag? ask him whether it’s officially raining or snowing.” As the tour guide approached, the man said, “Tell us, Comrade Rudolph, is it officially raining or snowing?” “It’s raining, of course,” he replied officiously. But the woman was adamant, “I'm sure that it felt like snow!”
The man quietly replied, “Rudolph, the Red, knows rain, dear!“

 

[Turnip]

 

[Bamaboots]

 

[HoosierDaddy]

 

[Turnip]

 

[Turnip]

 

[Trenchfriend]

Heard this one on the net:

How's a circumcision done in Texas? Just put his sister into a job.

 

[Tiki Tom]

What is that joke in German, Trenchfriend? I’m not sure it translates well into English. Merry Christmas!

 

[Trenchfriend]

What is that joke in German, Trenchfriend? I’m not sure it translates well into English. Merry Christmas!

Wie macht man eine Beschneidung in Texas? Steck seine Schwester in einen Job.

Fröööhliche Weihnacht, überall!!

 

[HoosierDaddy]

Yeah..something is sure lost in translation...

 

[Tiki Tom]

At the great risk of completely missing the joke, I will speculate that the humor centers on the word “Beschneidung”. It can have several meanings including circumcision, trim, and financial loss (I think).

Texas, I believe, is just shorthand for “unsophisticated yokels”.

This is the world I live in. I am forever nodding my head with a stupid grin on my face, not 100% sure that I have completely understood what’s being said.

 

[Turnip]

Don’t mind, couldn’t see the point in German either.

 

[Trenchfriend]

The clearer way:

How's a penis-circumcision done in Texas? Just take his sister down from him...

 

[Trenchfriend]

 

[Trenchfriend]

On the nail:

"Hello, Miss! Is this your boyfriend?"

"Yes."

"Alright. You want a MANfriend?"

 

[HoosierDaddy]

Still don't get the Texas joke. What does a sister have to do with a circumcision..??

 

[BobHufford]

Still don't get the Texas joke. What does a sister have to do with a circumcision..??

We might just want to "cut" our losses on this one ...

 

[Trenchfriend]

@HoosierDaddy
Incest joke.

 

[Woodtroll]

@HoosierDaddy
Incest joke.

I fail to see how an "incest joke", as you call it, belongs in a "Clean Joke" thread. I'm not a Texan, but I don't know how they or anyone else with a sense of decency would find an "incest joke" "clean". I think a lot of folks here were hoping that this was just a matter of poor translation, but you seem to have persisted until you made the vulgar point very clear.

I also don't see the humor in telling "jokes" insulting people or cultures you seem to know little about. Have you ever even been to Texas, or the US for that matter? How would you like for me to launch into a string of German jokes? Based on historical behavior of German citizens in the last century, there are plenty of not-so-clean German jokes to be told, but I doubt that you would appreciate them very much.

Maybe you should refrain from posting your "jokes", or insults, at all.