Clean Jokes

[Zombie_61]

Little Patrick was sitting on the curb crying his eyes out. A neighbour saw him, walked over & asked;
" What's the matter, son, why are you crying ?"
"It's me mum" replied the boy " she just died."
"Oh dear, would you like me to fetch father O'Brian ?" inquired the neighbour.
" No thanks" replied the boy, "sex is the last thing on my mind just now."

 

[Hurricane Jack]

 

[Peacoat]

JamesPowers, who started this thread hasn't logged in since August, 2015. He used to be a frequent poster with over 54,000 posts. Does anyone know if something has happened to him?

 

[HoosierDaddy]

JamesPowers, who started this thread hasn't logged in since August, 2015. He used to be a frequent poster with over 54,000 posts. Does anyone know if something has happened to him?

Nothing has happened to him. He is somewhat active on FaceBook. I think he felt as if he got a raw deal, after years of posting here, instigated by another bartender or two. In any event, he took his disappointment and went home.

 

[Peacoat]

Thanks, Van.

 

[HadleyH1]

I don't have any jokes but...but the OP...

I miss James Powers....and all those other people here .....

like Tomasso and Fletch... and Rue ... and all those nice people hope they are healthy and well! blessings to all of them!

 

[V.C. Brunswick]

I don't have any jokes but...but the OP...

I miss James Powers....and all those other people here .....

like Tomasso and Fletch... and Rue ... and all those nice people hope they are healthy and well! blessings to all of them!

James is alive and well on Facebook. I chat with him all the time there.

 

[HoosierDaddy]

I don't have any jokes but...but the OP...

I miss James Powers....and all those other people here .....

like Tomasso and Fletch... and Rue ... and all those nice people hope they are healthy and well! blessings to all of them!

Me too HeavenlyHadley...

 

[HadleyH1]

V.C Brunswick and Hossier Daddy....

but I'm not on Facebook.....could you please send my regards to him???????

 

[HoosierDaddy]

I sure will HH..

 

[HadleyH1]

I sure will HH..

Thank you HossierDaddy!

 

[Lean'n'mean]

Due to technical problems,we interupt this episode of The Waltons with a short joke.

A guy visiting the red light district in Amsterdam sees a pretty lady on display in the window, taps on the glass & calls out "How much !"
The lady replies " 500 euros"
" 500 euros ? " exclaimed the guy " That's expensive !"
" Yes" replied the lady " but it is double glazed"

 

[GHT]

Me too HeavenlyHadley...

Heavenly Hadley, that's very good, reminded me of the time when someone, admiring my car, asked: "What does MG stand for?" "My Girlfriend." I quipped.

 

[Hurricane Jack]

 

[2jakes]

Due to technical problems,we interupt this episode of The Waltons with a short joke.

Good one!

Goodnight Lean’n’mean.
Good jake.
Goodnight V.C. Brunswick. Goodnight HoosierDaddy.
Good night jake.
Goodnight GHT.
Goodnight vitanola.
Goodnight Zombie_61.
Goodnight bartenders.
Good jake.
Good night HeavenlyHadley.
Good night jake.

Good night Polo.

"Shut up & go to sleep dummy!"

 

[Hurricane Jack]

 

[HadleyH1]

Good one!
View attachment 93970
Goodnight Lean’n’mean.
Good jake.
Goodnight V.C. Brunswick. Goodnight HoosierDaddy.
Good night jake.
Goodnight GHT.
Goodnight vitanola.
Goodnight Zombie_61.
Goodnight bartenders.
Good jake.
Good night HeavenlyHadley.
Good night jake.

Good night Polo.
View attachment 93990
"Shut up & go to sleep dummy!"

....almost cracked a rib laughing

wait....

did I?

not really

 

[Hurricane Jack]

 

[GHT]

Goodnight GHT. Good night Polo.
View attachment 93990
"Shut up & go to sleep dummy!"

Gotta love that Polo, Good morning Jake. Here's a gag just for you.

At the end of the tax year, the Tax Office sent an inspector to audit the books of a synagogue. While he was checking the books he turned to the Rabbi and said, "I notice you buy a lot of candles. What do you do with the candle drippings?""Good question," noted the Rabbi. "We save them up and send them back to the candle makers, and every now and then they send us a free box of candles.""Oh," replied the auditor, somewhat disappointed that his unusual question had a practical answer. But on he went, in his obnoxious way. "What about all these biscuit purchases. What do you do with the crumbs?""Ah, yes," replied the Rabbi, realising that the inspector was trying to trap him with an unanswerable question. "We collect them and send them back to the manufacturers, and every now and then they send a free box of holy biscuits.""I see," replied the auditor, thinking hard about how he could fluster the know-it-all Rabbi."Well, Rabbi," he went on, "what do you do with all the leftover foreskins from the circumcisions you perform?""Here, too, we do not waste," answered the Rabbi. "What we do is save up all the foreskins and send them to the Tax Office, and about once a year they send us a complete dick."

 

[Hurricane Jack]

Runnin' Down a Dream