LizzieMaine
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And let's not forget homicide. There were plenty of marriages that ended violently.
And let's not forget homicide. There were plenty of marriages that ended violently.
Re a bunch of the above posts: We have several single women friends in their 40s / 50s and I'm just going to say it - dating is very hard for them as most of the men available in their age group are less than desirable.
Having tried to help - locate dates for them through my girlfriend's and my friends and acquaintances - and having read a bit on this, I've come to the conclusion that the problem is (1) let's not forget that ~50% of men and women stay married, so many (not all) "good ones" are locked up, (2) our casual sex culture has left many middle aged (and divorced) men happy to not remarry (been told that many times) and (3) women are willing to date men 10 and even 20 years older than they are (but this only happens occasionally with men dating much older women) so the population of men of similar age to our 40 / 50 year old friends is being aggressively diluted by women in their 30s and even 20s dating / marrying them.
IMHO, those are not some stupid guy reasons I came up with, but is an honest analysis both my girlfriend and I have come to after years of trying to help some very smart, attractive, nice and kind single women friends of ours find decent men of a similar age to them to date. That said, it only takes one - so of course, it can always happen, but the odds are, IMHO, harder for the above reasons.
The best place to find love is at the dog pound.
I think one of the big reasons my marriage has prospered is that we give all these things to each other. We live in a three level home and we each have our own space...me the TV room, and my shop in the garage. My wife with her craft room and reading nook in the bedroom upstairs. With this separation we can do our thing with the radio up as loud as we want, I can smoke a cigar in my shop and while our house is generally tidy the floor gets washed when one of us deems it to be "time." I caught my wife sniffing the armpit of her yesterday's shirt the other morning and declaring it still good to go. (but don't tell her I said that!)Society does tend to frown of those of us who for whatever reason have no interest whatever in the romantic rigamarole, but if you glare over the top of your glasses at them often enough, eventually they learn that you're serious about it. Some of us aren't defective in any way -- we just think the whole business is far more trouble than it's worth. If I want to listen to complaining, I'll talk to my mother. If I want to keep warm on a cold night, I've got an overweight cat. If *I* want to complain, well, what's the Lounge for?
On the plus side, I can play the radio as loud as I want to, I can stay up all night working if I want to, I can go for days without doing the dishes and weeks without washing the floor if I don't want to be bothered, and I don't have to listen to snarky comments about the fact that the seat is completely torn out of my bathrobe. "Live alone and like it."
As I get older, the only drawback I can see to the single life from my perspective is the risk of falling down the stairs and having nobody to help me up. I keep a set of house keys in my desk at work, and the kids have been carefully instructed to check on me if I don't show up for work when I'm supposed to. It's embarassing when they show up in a panic and all that happened is that I took a nap on the couch and overslept, but overall it's a workable system.
My wife (of 42 years) and I have in our circle numerous single friends of both genders, from 40 to mid 70 years old. All, I think, wonderful, intelligent and marriable people who for whatever reason are still single. Some are still looking and really want a relationship, others would not turn one down but not actively engaged , and others have given up the search. My wife and I remark to each other that when something happens to either of us it shall be the single life as breaking in a new partner would be way too much work at this stage in our life. I'd get a cat and a reliable friend named Jim Beam and call it a day.
My ex told me that if we ever split up, that he'd NEVER get married again. He was engaged to the woman he cheated on me with before our divorce was even final.
I don't know if I want to get married again. I'm enjoying the single life for many of the reasons Lizzie alluded to above. I've always liked living alone (hated roommates in college) and like being on my own schedule. If I want to take two naps on Saturday, by God I will and I won't feel guilty about it!
There are pierogi involved? Certainly a suitable match! My husband loves pretty much anything tasty, from latkes to BBQ to clams we dig in the estuary down the street.My wife and I have a standing joke about my "short list:" women who, if anything ever happens to her, are suitable mates for me lest I remain forever single after her demise. Top of the list is a mutual friend, a gal who finds my jokes funny, and makes the most outstanding pierogi.
Humor, and eating well: my priorities are my priorities.
As I get older, the only drawback I can see to the single life from my perspective is the risk of falling down the stairs and having nobody to help me up.
WWII was also the age of the "Dear John" letter.
After 30-plus years doing criminal defense work as a public defender in the largest unified circuit court system in the world, I retired and decided to hang out the shingle, essentially taking cases as they came with the hope of building
Your views on the Felony Murder Doctrine please counselor. A concept I have not examined lately for any possible judicial evolve.
In a nutshell: if I were the king of the world I'd end much of the prosecutorial overreach in this area by borrowing from that which we were taught in Torts class. Essentially, by defining duty owed as being predicated upon the same reasonable foreseeability standard which Mr. Justice Cardozo laid out for us in Palzgraf.
Both the opinion and dissent in Palsgraf are probably the most judicially metaphysical, allegorical court decisions I've ever read...
But Cardozo penned the opinion, with Pound's concurrence.
...There's a lot to be said, sometimes, for putting the cookies on the lowest shelf.