Being called by your first name at work

[hatguy1]

Judges are always "Judge X_____" or "Your Honor" whatever the circumstance.

Reminds me of the old joke:
What do you call the person who graduated bottom of their medical school class? "Doctor."

What do you call the person who graduated bottom of their LAW school class? "Your Honor."

 

[Stray Cat]

Inmates are always last name (Mr. or Ms.) no matter how well you know them.

Even the inmates get to be referred to with regards. I should send this to my colleagues. :doh:

What do you call the person who graduated bottom of their medical school class? "Doctor."
What do you call the person who graduated bottom of their LAW school class? "Your Honor."

ound:

 

[Feraud]

I don't mind it as much from one level to the next. But I think it sounds cheesy, false and insipid when first level supervisors etc start talking about CEOS by first name (as in I have a meeting with Bill as in Bill Gates like they're truly on a 1st name basis with the CEO) or when addressing them from the floor of an all-hands meeting by first name. Again, it just smacks of ridiculous to me. I don't think there's anything wrong with showing that level some respect of addressing as Me or Mrs or miss.


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This kind of informality is typically set from the top down. The CEO of our company is called Jack. If you addressed him as Mr.__ he'd probably give you the old, "My dad was Mr. ___, call me Jack".

I've had people bend over backwards trying to appear courteous and gentlemanly (in dress and manner) and my gut tells me they are phony and trying to glad hand. Outdated formality can be as bad as informal. Depends on the environment.

 

[V.C. Brunswick]

Reminds me of the old joke:
What do you call the person who graduated bottom of their medical school class? "Doctor."

What do you call the person who graduated bottom of their LAW school class? "Your Honor."

"Somewhere out there is the world's worst doctor and somebody has an appointment tomorrow."
...George Carlin

 

[sheeplady]

This kind of informality is typically set from the top down. The CEO of our company is called Jack. If you addressed him as Mr.__ he'd probably give you the old, "My dad was Mr. ___, call me Jack".

I've had people bend over backwards trying to appear courteous and gentlemanly (in dress and manner) and my gut tells me they are phony and trying to glad hand. Outdated formality can be as bad as informal. Depends on the environment.

It's not the title that shows respect. It's the tone.

I've worked with some very very well respected people in my field. I used to work with a gentleman who was one of the authors of the most cited article ever written in my field- he had a position at my school purely because of this- even though he only had a bachelors (almost all have Ph.D.s at the rank of full professor). I also used to work with the CEO of a major fortune 500 company who taught a couple of courses for "fun" so he could handpick students for his company. We are talking major major players in my field. Dropping their names made doors open effortlessly.

I addressed them both by their first names at their request. It was an honor on my part to be asked to do so.

 

[gtdean48]

I worked with 2 Ph D's, reported to one of them. I called them by their first names.
They both referred to their direct supervisor, a Vice President, as Mr. Lastname.
This in return made it so the VP had to refer back with Dr. Lastname to them.
It was their little dig at him that he rightfully earned...

 

[frussell]

I find that in public education, those folks who get their PhD's almost always immediately start insisting that they be called "Dr. __________." Not sure why, but I find this annoying, since they always refer to teachers by their first names. If they're not my GP, or my dentist, or even my veterinarian, it feels weird having to call someone doctor because they completed an online PhD course in education. I would understand if it's in front of students or in a formal meeting, but to have someone tell you "It's Dr. __________" when you address them one-on-one just seems pretentious. Maybe I'll make them call me Bachelor of Science Russell.

 

[Zombie_61]

I've had people bend over backwards trying to appear courteous and gentlemanly (in dress and manner) and my gut tells me they are phony and trying to glad hand. Outdated formality can be as bad as informal. Depends on the environment.

A false attempt at familiarity can be just as bad.

Years ago I worked for a local business called Daniels Tire Service, "Daniels" being the surname of the original owner. One day a salesman walked in and asked, "May I speak with Daniel?" Clearly he hadn't noticed the lack of possessive apostrophes on the signs. :eusa_doh:

On another occasion a very elderly gentleman walked in to discuss the purchase of a set of tires. During the discussion, in a weak attempt to get a "deal", he not-so-casually mentioned, "I went to school with old man Daniels. Didn't he have a couple of sons?" Uh, yeah, they're running the company now. Close friends, were you? :doh:

 

[Nobert]

As a slight side-step, although I've never had a problem with being addressed by the diminutive of my Christian name by coworkers, what really sticks in my craw is when people address wait staff or others in the service industry by their first names, having read their nametags. And they think they're being friendly by taking the liberty of this unearned familiarity. I can but aim a well throated 'Grrr' in their general direction.

 

[sheeplady]

As a slight side-step, although I've never had a problem with being addressed by the diminutive of my Christian name by coworkers, what really sticks in my craw is when people address wait staff or others in the service industry by their first names, having read their nametags. And they think they're being friendly by taking the liberty of this unearned familiarity. I can but aim a well throated 'Grrr' in their general direction.

Do you think it's different if the waitstaff says their name? Sometimes if I get a really good server I ask them their name and use it several times so I remember it. That way I can tell the manager that they are great or fill out one of those little suggestion cards. It isn't uncommon if you go to places that are good to their employees they have very little turnover and you get to know the servers' names, too. Even if you tell them your names, they tend to forget for awhile at least since they see so many people- whereas you only see the servers at the restaurant.

But I guess both those situations are different than reading a name off a name tag. The only time I really have ever done that is when someone is really helpful to me- way above what they had to do. Then I will sometimes say, "thank you, ****" normally with a long explanation. But that is pretty much an extreme case, and I'd normally ask for their name so I can tell their manager or send an email about their above average performance on the job.

I'm really big on giving credit where credit is due.

 

[Nobert]

If someone tells you their name, of their own volition, not because it's management policy to say "Hi, my name is (name)" then it's always fine, as far as I'm concerned. I see your point about wanting to be able to put a name to someone who you think is deserving of personal attention or deserves being called out for doing a good job. If you were to send an email to a manager about a particular employee whose name you only knew by reading it off their nametag, that's all well and good. What I'm talking about is the people who try to cozy up to you and pretend that they know you on a first-name-basis only because they read it off your shirt. The ones who seem to have no concept that they are already the customers who are always right and that this relationship is not a familiar meeting of equals. Again, that's different when you do develop a relationship--even a basically commercial one--with a server you deal with on a regular basis. This would describe my interaction with any number of bartenders in the city of Portland who I would have no compunction about addressing personally, because I do sort of know them. Well, I think you get my drift.

 

[sheeplady]

I think I know what you mean. I think that would annoy me if I wore a name tag.

Interestingly enough, I'm always tempted when a server introduces themselves to introduce myself: "Hi _____, I'm sheeplady."... It is kind of a knee jerk reaction to hearing someone's name to give my own.

 

[Nobert]

The only time I remember having to wear a name tag was in one of my many forays into the custodial arts, where they gave us night cleaners shirts with embroidered name patches. This would have been bothersome enough (you want to know my name? Ask me,) but they had also left out the final "e" in my usual appellation, so that my tags all read "Robbi." Which made it seem as though I was the interior decorator for Barbie's Dream House or something.

 

[Stearmen]

A friend of mine many years ago, got a job as an auto painter. His name was Charles, so they asked him what name he wanted on his uniform, not thinking, he said, "any thing but Chucky." of corse, when he got his uniform, it said Chuckie! The name stuck, and to this day, thats what he goes by almost 40 years latter.

 

[Zombie_61]

...I'm always tempted when a server introduces themselves to introduce myself: "Hi _____, I'm sheeplady."...

I enjoy it when they approach the table and announce, "Hi, I'm so-and-so and I'll be your server today." My response is usually to smile and say, "Hi, I'm Al and I'll be your customer today."

 

[Stray Cat]

"Hi, I'm Al and I'll be your customer today."

That is kind of you, sir. :yo:

 

[Zombie_61]

That is kind of you, sir. :yo:

I'm always careful to say it in a jovial manner so that they know I'm not making fun of them or their occupation. It usually breaks the ice to a degree, and helps them to relax a little. I've seen far too many people treat wait staff like they're inferior beings for no particular reason, so it's one of the little ways I use to let them know I'm not one of those people.

Also, neither my wife nor I are fond of that sort of overly formal demeanor that some establishments require of their employees (regardless of the type of business), so we have a way of breaking through that veneer. Most of the time the person (or people) we're interacting with respond to that, so we can relate to them as people instead of as "customer" and "representative"; it just makes everything easier and far more pleasant.

 

[Stray Cat]

I'm always careful to say it in a jovial manner so that they know I'm not making fun of them or their occupation.

Like yourself, I'm quite careful with people. Working in a small town governmental office, I encounter various folks. Being kind, without being cheesy-sweet on the verge of looking fake is hard for some people, especially when you deal with so many different people.
Some can't write.
I give it my best not to offend any of them; or let anyone else offend them. Once it's time to sign something, I take them aside and ask them something innocent, like "Have you brought your glasses?", and if they say "No" I point my finger where they should sign their "x"
(yes, we do have that, and it's a hard struggle for them to stay away from mockery - at least they will not be mocked in my office)

 

[Zombie_61]

In my experience it's a simple matter of being courteous and showing people respect regardless of the circumstances. "Do unto others..."

 

[Stray Cat]

"Do unto others..."

And yet, many forget it. [huh]