Being called by your first name at work

[F. J.]

Nit-pick . . .

[...] Pilot to bombardier. 2Lt Smith, we are approaching the initial point. [...]

I'm pretty sure that second lieutenants were addressed simply as "Lieutenant" as a matter of courtesy, in much the same way a lieutenant colonel is addressed as "Colonel". I know, I'm picking nits . . .

 

[vintageTink]

Mrs X.
Better than Madam X.

When you run that kind of joint it's Misses. Lol
No sense in sullying yourself when you're the boss, right?

 

[lolly_loisides]

I refer to all my colleagues by their first names, as does everyone in the institution for which I work. The former Director had excellent lines of communication with everyone - one of the people she was very friendly with was our receptionist, who acted as a conduit of information (she was extremely discreet, I might add, and never inappropriate in what she relayed).

Formerly, when I worked for a cabinet minister, I always addressed or referred to her with externals as "Minister". When it was staff only, she had everyone - including her driver and receptionist - refer to her by her first name.

Australian culture is such that it is often seen as non-egalitarian in the workplace to use a hierarchy of address.

That was my experience too.
When I worked for a large State government department everyone including the Chief Executive Officer (with the exception of the Minister) were addressed by their first name. At one time, one of our Ministers was someone I had known for over 15 years, I had to constantly remind myself not to call him by his first name during work related exchanges. Not easy!

 

[Smithy]

I refer to all my colleagues by their first names, as does everyone in the institution for which I work. The former Director had excellent lines of communication with everyone - one of the people she was very friendly with was our receptionist, who acted as a conduit of information (she was extremely discreet, I might add, and never inappropriate in what she relayed).

Formerly, when I worked for a cabinet minister, I always addressed or referred to her with externals as "Minister". When it was staff only, she had everyone - including her driver and receptionist - refer to her by her first name.

Australian culture is such that it is often seen as non-egalitarian in the workplace to use a hierarchy of address.

Which can make it very difficult with correspondence, particularly in the academic and arts sphere, when you're writing letters or emails. People refer to themselves only by their name and often don't include titles. In initiating correspondence, until contact has been made I always use a title...and often find myself frantically googling to find out if "Jane Doe" is Ms, Mrs, Miss, Dr, Professor etc.

Hi Mojito, long time no see

Your post is a perfect summation of Antipodean culture and the attitude to "superiors". Same here in Oz and also in NZ. Both nations have a long running tradition of relaxed informality usually based on a distinct suspicion of authority. The old "cat can look at a king" doctrine is ingrained in us.

Probably of note as well, it's well documented during the war that British officers often had trouble initially if they were attached to a Kiwi unit as it was usually first names or even nicknames when addressing anybody whether they be senior or junior in rank. And I'd imagine it was the same situation with a British officer being attached to an Aussie unit.

 

[Ghost Rider]

This is a very interesting thread when applied to the German working culture. In Germany, the formal address (i.e. Mr./Mrs. and the formal "Sie" when saying "you") is always used at the beginning. In the more conservaticve companies, this is also used to distance Senior Management from other employees. The informal address (i.e. First name and the informal "Du" when saying "you") is normally only used when people have known each other a long time, and is often seen as a major "breakthrough".

Having said this, it is changing, and a lot of modern companies (SAP included) are starting to use the informal address more willingly than before. Likewise, in the South West, you are likely to be offered the informal address and use of first names very quickly.

I personally like the use of first names at work - it seems to me rather odd when a 16 year student is referred to everybody as "This is Mrs. ......".

 

[sheeplady]

In an academic health center this creates an interesting situation. The MD doctor is highest in the pecking order, but we're populated by plenty of PhD doctors as well. We have doctors with white coats and doctors without and everything in between. In a clinical situation staff and patients can become confused, so we label the physicians by giving them a card attached to their badge that reads "MD". Not to be outdone and in the interest of retaining status, we now have "RN"s. ...and given not all RNs are created equal, we have "APN"s. For me, my badge should read "SUIT".

lol

Interestingly enough, before I earned my doctorate, many students wanted to call me "doctor." At first I simply said, "please call me professor" but then some people insisted on calling me "Dr." still. In academia it is a major non-no to use the address of "Dr." before you have earned your Ph.D. So then I changed it to "Please call me professor. Addressing me as Dr. is not appropriate as I have not yet earned my doctorate." I can understand student's confusion, as some instructors have Ph.D.s and some do not.

Using "Dr." before earning a doctorate is such a major issue that the dean of our school publicly called out a former student (now a graduate) for requesting students call her Dr., telling her that she was dishonoring the degree and the school. So it gets people pretty upset. Upset enough that if a dean hears rumors of you doing it in a country 5,000 miles away she'll make it a public issue.

 

[HudsonHawk]

This is a very interesting thread when applied to the German working culture. In Germany, the formal address (i.e. Mr./Mrs. and the formal "Sie" when saying "you") is always used at the beginning. In the more conservaticve companies, this is also used to distance Senior Management from other employees. The informal address (i.e. First name and the informal "Du" when saying "you") is normally only used when people have known each other a long time, and is often seen as a major "breakthrough".

Having said this, it is changing, and a lot of modern companies (SAP included) are starting to use the informal address more willingly than before. Likewise, in the South West, you are likely to be offered the informal address and use of first names very quickly.

I personally like the use of first names at work - it seems to me rather odd when a 16 year student is referred to everybody as "This is Mrs. ......".

Interesting. I work a lot with folks in Thailand, and there it's proper to address another otherwise non-titled person with the title "Khun", followed by their first name. This is a courtesy title, similar to "Mr." or "Mrs.", but you always use it, even in informal settings.

 

[Nobert]

lol

Interestingly enough, before I earned my doctorate, many students wanted to call me "doctor." At first I simply said, "please call me professor" but then some people insisted on calling me "Dr." still. In academia it is a major non-no to use the address of "Dr." before you have earned your Ph.D. So then I changed it to "Please call me professor. Addressing me as Dr. is not appropriate as I have not yet earned my doctorate." I can understand student's confusion, as some instructors have Ph.D.s and some do not.

Using "Dr." before earning a doctorate is such a major issue that the dean of our school publicly called out a former student (now a graduate) for requesting students call her Dr., telling her that she was dishonoring the degree and the school. So it gets people pretty upset. Upset enough that if a dean hears rumors of you doing it in a country 5,000 miles away she'll make it a public issue.

Academics and their doctorates. Not that it isn't an accomplishment, in just seems in that some (not all, I'm sure) Ivy-covered professors use it as an excuse to berate anyone who doesn't have one. My Dad was basically drummed out of his teaching position because he never finished his dissertation, so I may be a smidge bitter on his behalf.

 

[gtdean48]

My dad was a dentist & only corrected anybody that called him "mister".
Worked with plenty of D. Ed. & Ph. D.'s, never had 1 of them mention being called "doctor".
Working at customer sites = hospitals, clinics, etc., had MD's introduced as "doctor" but quickly went to first name basis.
In undergrad, it was either "doctor" or "mister/ms." depending on their degree. Grad school was predominantly first name but this was experienced professional focused programs = 15 years post undergrad....
I get tickled when I see Master degree letters after a person's name on their business card....

 

[Dragon Soldier]

I prefer to be addressed by my first name by those who I like or at least don't dislike.
I prefer those who I dislike not to address me at all.

 

[Edward]

I prefer to be addressed by my first name by those who I like or at least don't dislike.
I prefer those who I dislike not to address me at all.

lol

(nice to see you around, btw!)

I work in academia and get all sorts. I'm not much fussy. I'm happy to be addressed by my first name by students and staff alike. I'd feel differently about it were I teaching at school level, but all my students are adults, so no big deal. I don't push it, though. Some students - often from South East Asia (though in Beijing we all go specifically by first names because it's just easier.... and it's mostly an engineering thing, and they tend to be less formal all around than lawyers). If a student emails me as Mr Marlowe or whatever, I'll always sign off as Edward but I'll not push them to use that if they aren't comfortable. Americans typically call me Professor, which is fine simply as a term of address,but I discourage it in wiritng as over here Professor is not the same as in the US - it's an earned rank, at the top of the academic tree (Lecturer, Senior Lecturer, Reader, and then Professor). I occasionally get "Doctor", but I have no PhD - I'm just about the very last of the generation of law academics in the UK who didn't need one, and I've never found the time to get it (publication is now more important for me, and that's where all the pressure is put). Again, no biggie in person, but in writing on anything formal / public I would correct it.

As to others, I have a tendency to go by Mr Surname for a man (or professor / doctor /etc as appropriate) until incited to do otherwise - same for women, though usually Ms if not Doctor or Professor, as that's more often the preferred form than not. Normally, though, when people make their introduction whether by email, phone, or in person, it's clear right from the off which they prefer. I'm genuinely indifferent as to what folks prefer for me. [huh]

 

[sheeplady]

Academics and their doctorates. Not that it isn't an accomplishment, in just seems in that some (not all, I'm sure) Ivy-covered professors use it as an excuse to berate anyone who doesn't have one. My Dad was basically drummed out of his teaching position because he never finished his dissertation, so I may be a smidge bitter on his behalf.

In my experience, anyone who makes a big deal out of having to be called "Dr." is likely an arrogant ***. Believe me, I've known enough Ph.D.s, Ed.D.s, and M.D.s to know what I speak of.

The worst person I know called out a staff member I worked for because she addressed him by his first name rather than Dr. Idiot. In front of a conference room full of people he said to her, "Margie, I am faculty. You are only staff. You will address me as Dr. Idiot." Notice he used her first name too, as if she didn't deserve the same level of respect to be called Ms. Even if it was that important to him, he didn't have to put it that way OR say it in front of a room full of people.

I wish she had responded, "Well, Dr. Idiot, I am staff and you are only faculty. You will address me as Ms. Smith" but she was too stunned to do anything.

 

[gear-guy]

In my workplace it is always first name or last name if that is what they go by. Same in my personal life, very casual, but I have family that lives in the south and they still refer to older people and MR. and Miss. NO Ma'am, Yes sir, ect. A lot depends on where you were raised. I once said yes sir to my dad and he beat my ass. Never did that again. Nothing wrong with either way as long as you are genuine and polite.

 

[scottyrocks]

I work in a grade school. I'm in the top 10% in seniority. Staff addresses each other by Mr./Mrs./Miss/Ms. Dkjbfht in front of the students. In private, however, there are differences, depending on the relationship. Some teachers I call by their first names, and some I call Mr./Mrs./Miss/Ms. Dkjbfht. I can address all my administrators by their first names, as they do me, as I've known them a long time, as they all started as teachers in my school after I started there. Some fellow teachers I address by first name, but others by Mr./Mrs./Miss/Ms. Dkjbfht. It depends on the personal relationship.

There was one teacher who would call me by my first name in front of the students. Under different circumstances I have no problems with children calling me by my first name. I work at a summer camp, and the kids there call everyone by first name. But in school, it's always Mr./Mrs./Miss/Ms. Dkjbfht. It's just convention. I asked that teacher to call me Mr. Dkjbfht. She apologized, and I told her no harm done, and thanks.

 

[HudsonHawk]

I work with PhD's every day. None of them have ever asked to be called "Dr". I was in a meeting the other day with seven other people, and six of them had PhD's. Of course, this is in industry, not academia.

 

[sheeplady]

I work with PhD's every day. None of them have ever asked to be called "Dr". I was in a meeting the other day with seven other people, and six of them had PhD's. Of course, this is in industry, not academia.

Sayre's Law: "Academic politics is the most vicious and bitter form of politics, because the stakes are so low."

 

[Picard1138]

I grew up in the public school system for the most part, and Dr., Mr., Ms., Mrs. for all teachers and staff was required (or Madame, Senior, etc. for language teachers). Since then I have always thought it improper to address anyone I don't know by their first name, at least at first. Emails especially, I always make first contact with a formal greeting.

-Max

 

[F. J.]

Yes?! That's yes *SIR*!!

[...] A lot depends on where you were raised. I once said yes sir to my dad and he beat my [CENSORED]. Never did that again. Nothing wrong with either way as long as you are genuine and polite.[...]

See, when I was a kid, my dad would've whooped* me good if I didn't say "yes, sir". That was just a sign of respect. And if I had said "yeah" to either of my parents, goodness, I imagine they'd have tanned my hide.


*Down here in the South, we call spankings "whoopings". I've only ever heard it, so I'm not really certain how it's spelled.

 

[Nobert]

See, when I was a kid, my dad would've whooped* me good if I didn't say "yes, sir". That was just a sign of respect. And if I had said "yeah" to either of my parents, goodness, I imagine they'd have tanned my hide.


*Down here in the South, we call spankings "whoopings". I've only ever heard it, so I'm not really certain how it's spelled.

I'm not from the south, but in my imagination a "whooping"or "whopping" entails something beyond what I think of a spanking...probably involving a father's belt.


This thread makes me think about the many things I've read about The New Yorker. The founder/editor Harold Ross seems never to have been called anything but "Ross," even by his closest friends. "Mr. Ross" for employees who didn't know him. For his part, he always seemed to address even his most cherished writers as "White" and "Thurber," though E.B. White and James Thurber would call each other "Andy*" and "Jim." Katherine White, the senior editor save Ross, would sometimes invite contributors to call her "Katherine," but none of them were ever able to bring themselves to call the erudite, super-competent and proper Bostonian woman anything other than "Mrs. White."

*"Andy" was White's nickname, by which he preferred to be known, and if your first name was Elwyn, would you do any different?

 

[Zombie_61]

Every job I've had has been "blue collar" or "white collar in a blue collar industry". As such, they've all been rather informal workplaces where people generally addressed each other by first name, so I'm accustomed to that kind of work environment. However, in front of customers or other visitors I've always addressed those of "higher rank" as Mr./Mrs. Whoever or simply Sir/Ma'am to show respect to the person and their position.