Being called by your first name at work

[Tomasso]

You may call me anything you like, just don't call me late for dinner.

 

[Shangas]

First-name basis with all my colleagues.

The manager at the shop where I do my stuff always answers to 'Martin'. He'd feel uncomfortable if we called him 'Mr Healy'.

Of course, there was the memorable occasion when we had two new, very pretty Chinese girls on staff. They were twin sisters. On being asked if they'd met the manager, they enquired if he was "the male" in the back office with blond hair.

To be fair, they both spoke perfectly fluent English. But I think they were caught a bit off-guard by our question and spurted out the first thing that came to mind. Since then, Martin has earned the nickname of being 'The Male'.

 

[Two Types]

Among colleagues we regularly use 'Mr _' when addressing each other, even though it's a very informal environment (apart from a colleague who is ex-army and is regularly referred to as 'Corporal _'). I've no idea why, it just seems to be an affectation which has caught on.

My father worked in a factory which was entirely on a first name basis. Even the management were referred to by their first names. However, my father had no respect for the management and, purely to antagonise them, he refused to let them use his first name. So they had to call him 'Mr _'.

I used to work for a man who always insisted on being referred to as 'Mr _'. I recall him receiving a job application that used his first name and he simply threw it in the bin. Even people who left the company and popped back in to see him would still say 'Mr_' rather than use his first name. I felt honoured when he finally said I should use his first name. Despite this seemingly stuffy formality, he was the one and only manager in the company who routinely defended his staff and earned their respect by his behaviour. Others (far less formal and who would go to the pub and be matey with their staff) would happily stab you in the back.

 

[stevew443]

I worked with a very powerful individual who was both a medical doctor and a General in the Army. He hated to be called General. He would state that General was just a civil service category and if we had to use any title to use Dr. because he had to study to earn that one. Usually we just called him Jim.

 

[Gregg Axley]

I used to be in law enforcement, and worked around many that DEMANDED you use their title.
Usually they were lower rank officers.
I saw one stomp his foot in his demand.
An adult stomping their foot? shakeshead
In government you get some people like that, but now?
I work with people a lot higher up and all they want is you to use their first name.

 

[Shangas]

My first paid job was when I left highschool. I was employed as a first-aid officer by the school P.E. department.

The result of this was that I was now working for someone who used to be my first-aid teacher and sport-teacher. The strangest thing was how things changed so fast.

As students, my friends and I (some of them were also employed in the same position) would naturally call him "Mr _". The moment we changed from students to employees, that all stopped. And he insisted/allowed us to call him by his first name. Which if I recall rightly, was Robert.

 

[Feraud]

You may call me anything you like, just don't call me late for dinner.

My thoughts exactly.

 

[Gingerella72]

lol

Interestingly enough, before I earned my doctorate, many students wanted to call me "doctor." At first I simply said, "please call me professor" but then some people insisted on calling me "Dr." still. In academia it is a major non-no to use the address of "Dr." before you have earned your Ph.D. So then I changed it to "Please call me professor. Addressing me as Dr. is not appropriate as I have not yet earned my doctorate." I can understand student's confusion, as some instructors have Ph.D.s and some do not.

Using "Dr." before earning a doctorate is such a major issue that the dean of our school publicly called out a former student (now a graduate) for requesting students call her Dr., telling her that she was dishonoring the degree and the school. So it gets people pretty upset. Upset enough that if a dean hears rumors of you doing it in a country 5,000 miles away she'll make it a public issue.

When my husband was a graduate student getting his master's degree, he taught some 101 classes and his students always called him Dr., especially in emails. He never corrected them though, because it amused him.

I think that the formal Mr./Mrs./Ms./Miss in the workplace is seen, especially by the younger generation, as too formal and old fashioned, and irrelevant to the world today. The last time I was called Mrs. was when I was doing my student teaching in an elementary school. It feels right, somehow, for a child to address an adult in that manner, but adult to adult? It feels fake and pretentious in today's world.

 

[gtdean48]

...
*Down here in the South, we call spankings "whoopings". I've only ever heard it, so I'm not really certain how it's spelled.

Whip, whap, whup.... whooping is what kids do when they are running around whooping & hollering like wild natives....
I got plenty of whuppings growing up.... I was whupped yesterday & will get whipped tomorrow....
Never seen conjugating a verb add "oo" ....

 

[cchgn]

I'm a master Glazier and in the construction arena, most folks like nicknames, usually where they're from, also something unique about them or whatever they prefer. So we have Montana, Utah, Brooklyn, etc., I'd be Gator( from Florida). One guy from Seattle prefers the name Scissors, a name given him from the biker gang he sold drugs to, for cutting it.


However, the DW works in an office of a family owned business and has the same problem. My advise is, regardless of what others do, do what you're comfortable with. We have an old neighbor, an old war vet and I will always call him Mr. Smith, even tho he constantly tells me, "That's my Dad, I'm Jim." Imo, there's nothing pretentious about genuine respect.

Also, there's the rank system: co workers, first name; immediate superiors, whatever they want to be called; the CEO or owner, definitely Mr/Mrs/Miss/Ms. .

 

[gtdean48]

Being raised as I was in the Deep South, I had a friend name Ben Roberts. His mother & father were known to me as "Miss Jean" & "Mister Billy" as most all of my parents' friends were called. Now Miss Jean became my 4th Grade teacher, who at school was always addressed as "Mrs. Roberts". All of my son's teachers were addressed as "Dr, Mr, Mrs or Ms Lastname" at school.

 

[Picard1138]

I worked with a very powerful individual who was both a medical doctor and a General in the Army. He hated to be called General. He would state that General was just a civil service category and if we had to use any title to use Dr. because he had to study to earn that one. Usually we just called him Jim.

I know a guy who works at a museum, everyone calls him by his nickname, which is a play on his last name. I knew he was retired from the Navy, finally I found out he retired as an Admiral. I referred to him as Admiral after finding out, he said "never use the A-word!"

-Max

 

[sheeplady]

Being raised as I was in the Deep South, I had a friend name Ben Roberts. His mother & father were known to me as "Miss Jean" & "Mister Billy" as most all of my parents' friends were called. Now Miss Jean became my 4th Grade teacher, who at school was always addressed as "Mrs. Roberts". All of my son's teachers were addressed as "Dr, Mr, Mrs or Ms Lastname" at school.

This is what we do with our daughter. Adult friends are either "Auntie" or "Uncle" or are called "Miss" or "Mister" Firstname. For instance, the swim instructor is "Miss Kate" but our cousin is "Auntie Stephanie."

There's just something that irks me about children addressing adults who they aren't that familiar with by just their first name. I have no idea why, but it just does. I grew up doing most adults by their last names, which was sometimes confusing if an adult had a different last name than the child (and sometimes embarrassing for me if I got it wrong). So first names are easier and I think it is still as respectful if we us Miss or Mister.

On the same token, I admit I'd likely feel strange if a friend of my child addressed me as "Mrs. Lastname" rather than "Miss Firstname." I think Miss Firstname is more friendly but still respectful.

 

[RailRoad]

Back in the late 70s, mid 80s when disco was in bloom I had a curly perm. Guys I worked with on the railroad started calling me cabbage head. It stuck and stayed with
me till we all retired.

 

[Atticus Finch]

I have to admit, I’m uncomfortable with formality and strict adherence to addressing people by titles and rank and such. I've always been that way.

I once taught a law class onboard Camp Lejeune. Because I would be going back and forth through the main gate the entire semester, the MPs issued me a temporary base sticker for my car. At a distance it must have looked like an officer's sticker because often, when I passed through the gate, the guard would salute. I didn’t know how to react when that happened. Should I return the salute? Heck, I didn’t even really know how to salute. Or should I ignore the salute and let the guard think I was a pompous ass?

One day I mentioned the saluting gate guards to a Marine friend and I explained to him how uncomfortable it made me feel. My friend just laughed and told me to stop worrying. He said, "Those guards aren't saluting you, Geoff. They probably don’t even see you in your car…and they damn sure don’t care if you salute back. They're just saluting that little sticker in your windshield".

That made me feel a lot better...I think.

AF

 

[LizzieMaine]

Our theatre director has a PhD in English, but we only call her "Doctor" when she's helping out behind the popcorn stand.

 

[Picard1138]

I have to admit, I’m uncomfortable with formality and strict adherence to addressing people by titles and rank and such. I've always been that way.

I once taught a law class onboard Camp Lejeune. Because I would be going back and forth through the main gate the entire semester, the MPs issued me a temporary base sticker for my car. At a distance it must have looked like an officer's sticker because often, when I passed through the gate, the guard would salute. I didn’t know how to react when that happened. Should I return the salute? Heck, I didn’t even really know how to salute. Or should I ignore the salute and let the guard think I was a pompous ass?

One day I mentioned the saluting gate guards to a Marine friend and I explained to him how uncomfortable it made me feel. My friend just laughed and told me to stop worrying. He said, "Those guards aren't saluting you, Geoff. They probably don’t even see you in your car…and they damn sure don’t care if you salute back. They're just saluting that little sticker in your windshield".

That made me feel a lot better...I think.

AF

To answer your question, US Army protocol states that the driver of a vehicle never salutes - probably for safety and other reasons. (The only exception I'm aware of: in the case of the Star Spangled Banner or Taps sounding, you are supposed to stop the vehicle, dismount, and salute toward the direction of the music.)

-Max

 

[gear-guy]

Sayre's Law: "Academic politics is the most vicious and bitter form of politics, because the stakes are so low."

Excellent point, my wife was a college prof. and he always complained about the politics, said that my work place was nothing compared to what higher education was. I met some some of her co-workers and had to agree, wow are you sure you want to pursue this line of work?

 

[gear-guy]

Our theatre director has a PhD in English, but we only call her "Doctor" when she's helping out behind the popcorn stand.

:eusa_clap

 

[Virginia Creeper]

Being raised as I was in the Deep South, I had a friend name Ben Roberts. His mother & father were known to me as "Miss Jean" & "Mister Billy" as most all of my parents' friends were called. Now Miss Jean became my 4th Grade teacher, who at school was always addressed as "Mrs. Roberts". All of my son's teachers were addressed as "Dr, Mr, Mrs or Ms Lastname" at school.

My cousin's fiancee is from North Carolina, and refers to my mother as "Miz Firstname." It's very charming, in a foreign sort of way.