A Gentleman knows when he's had enough to drink, when...

[PADDY]

Edited from the classic book, "G - Is for Gentleman." Lessons in life, manners and style (by Sam Martin).

The GENTLEMAN knows he has had enough to drink when...



*He calls old girlfriends or people he doesn't know from his cell phone after midnight.

*The last half of his sentence blurs together.

*He tries to get off the barstool, but the floor comes up to meet him.

*Various articles of clothing have come off in public, and he is considering taking off 'more!'

*He strikes up heated conversations with the taxi driver about heart-breaks and girl troubles.

*He visits the toilet more than three times in 30 minutes.

*The barman tells him they've run out of drink.

*His friends have disappeared and left him behind.

*More than one person tells him to keep his voice down.

*The woman he tried to avoid at the beginning of the evening has taken on a rather attractive aura!

 

[FedoraGent]

F A N T A S T I C

That's wonderful.

I know people that fit that bill.

FG.

 

[Fletch]

He can no longer taste his cocktail.

He's had more than two in a row without eatables.

He has lowered his tie more than an inch.

He can't remember where his hat is, or indeed, whether he even wore one.

He insists he was never served the third/fourth/nth drink on the tab.

He is addressed by anyone as "Mac," "Pal," Buster," or "Bub," preceded by a firmly enunciated, "Look."

He's tempted by actions, speech, or thoughts ill becoming a gentleman.

 

["Skeet" McD]

He can no longer taste his cocktail.

He's had more than two in a row without eatables.

He has lowered his tie more than an inch.

He can't remember where his hat is, or indeed, whether he even wore one.

He insists he was never served the third/fourth/nth drink on the tab.

He is addressed by anyone as "Look..."

He's tempted by actions, speech, or thoughts ill becoming a gentleman.

Ummm...Fletch: you should write an etiquette book...I like your list better, myself....now...was I wearing a hat when I came in here?

"Skeet"
Who lost a hat--luckily not a very good one--under FletchRuleFour at McSorley's one night...and still wishes he hadn't. :eusa_doh: In every other way, however, it was a lovely evening at a bad time, and worth the cost.

 

[Dixie_Amazon]

Goes for the ladies too...

Drinking makes such fools of people, and people are such fools to begin with, that it’s compounding a felony. ~ Robert Benchley

 

[Fletch]

Counterpoint

The problem with this world is that everybody's a few drinks behind.
—Humphrey Bogart, Benchley's close friend and fellow tosspot

 

[Darhling]

Edited from the classic book, "G - Is for Gentleman." Lessons in life, manners and style (by Sam Martin).

The GENTLEMAN knows he has had enough to drink when...


*The woman he tried to avoid at the beginning of the evening has taken on a rather attractive aura!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ngSUa3cwIw8

lol

 

[Spitfire]

I stick to the Dean Martin rule:
You are drunk if you have to hold on tight, when lying on the floor.
lol
lol

 

[PADDY]

HaHa...that Tuborg advert says it all...WARNING!!

I'd never seen that one before. Loved it -thanks!! And 'so true too!!'

 

[PADDY]

When you start believing that...

...you are the most interesting, witty and intelligent conversationalist in the room (but you're the only one who actually understands what you are talking about!! ).

 

[Macheath]

ALSO when you start believing that...

You have pipes like Old Blue Eyes---and start belting out a Cole Porter number in your half-sleep!

Guilty

 

[BinkieBaumont]

When he and three chums, heading to a party on the other side of the park are threatened to be thrown out of a cab in the middle of central park at night, because they would not refrain from singing "The Trolley song"

 

[Macheath]

....would not refrain from singing "The Trolley song"

lol
Beats Night and Day by a mile. :eusa_clap

 

[MrNewportCustom]

Drinking makes such fools of people, and people are such fools to begin with, that it’s compounding a felony. ~ Robert Benchley

That's exactly why I don't drink. . . . Well, one of the exactlies.


Lee

 

[Lincsong]

Who said a guy isn't drunk if he can hold onto the floor without falling off???lol

 

[Diamondback]

...you are the most interesting, witty and intelligent conversationalist in the room (but you're the only one who actually understands what you are talking about!! ).

Umm, I been there dead-sober... try being the only intellect in a room full of Neanderthal-wannabes sometime, like when it is my misfortune to have to suffer visiting Mom's brother (note deliberate word-choice to distance myself from him; I only suffer him for my grandmother's sake, and even then as infrequently and briefly as possible) and his crowd in their backwater town on the coast.

 

[AtomicEraTom]

Oh, boy I'm guilty of being loud when I become intoxicated. I'm always getting told to keep my voice down.

My first tell is my typing becomes difficult. I'm usually a 75wpm typer and I jumble a lot of letters when I've been drinking even a little. Just a few Pabst Blue Ribbons tonite and I'm having difficulty!

 

["Skeet" McD]

Oh, boy I'm guilty of being loud when I become intoxicated. I'm always getting told to keep my voice down.

My first tell is my typing becomes difficult. I'm usually a 75wpm typer and I jumble a lot of letters when I've been drinking even a little. Just a few Pabst Blue Ribbons tonite and I'm having difficulty!

Arrah: easy there, lad: easy! It's only Thursday, you know! (says "Skeet" with several IPAs in HIM!)

Faith: if you've got a keyboard in front of you, you can't get into TOO much trouble, right? We won't have to take your keys away from you....

Prosit!
"Skeet"

 

[AtomicEraTom]

Kevin! You'd be hammering down a few of the best brew M'waukee has to offer too if you had a day like I had. Almost thought of calling in for tomorry, but why ruin 3 years of perfect attendance? Besides, you can't work on a 57 Chevy without the brew in ya, that's un-American!

 

[carter]

From a couple of decades in the bar biz

The bartender is serving him coffee and the manager is providing a free cab ride home.

He keeps telling the cabbie "I'm sorry" and the cabbie replies "Not as sorry as you're gonna be in the morning".

He hands the car keys to his wife and asks her to drive home.

He's progressed from bulletproof to invisible.

He's tying his shoelaces into bunny ears and whiskers, and everytime he pulls the whiskers the bunny ears disappear.

His house key won't fit in the ignition and his ignition key won't open the front door.

He can't remember how he got here but he's sure he should leave.

He's certain the police officer he's about to meet will be a 'verra unnerstannin fella'.