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What's something modern you won't miss when it becomes obsolete?

F. J.

One of the Regulars
Messages
221
Location
The Magnolia State
What's wrong with 'em?

I love trees, unless it's a Magnolia. I hate those damn things. I won't have one in my yard, and I'll growl and snarl at any neighbor who does.

Now, I have to ask, what exactly is wrong with the stately Magnolia?
Of course, I ask this as a life-long resident of the Magnolia State.
 
Now, I have to ask, what exactly is wrong with the stately Magnolia?
Of course, I ask this as a life-long resident of the Magnolia State.

Namely all the crap they leave all over your yard. Big ugly brown leaves and nasty red berries dropping all over creation, all the time, staining everything in sight. Yes, they have pretty flowers once a year, but the rest of the time, they're nothing but a pain in the ass. Having a Magnolia tree is like dating a really pretty girl who dresses up one night a year so your friends will say "wow, you're a lucky fellow", but the other 364 nights she sits on your couch in a bathrobe and hair curlers, smoking cigarettes, complaining in a loud voice and spilling cheap whiskey on the furniture. I've had my fill of both.
 

Gregg Axley

I'll Lock Up
Messages
5,125
Location
Tennessee
Namely all the crap they leave all over your yard. Big ugly brown leaves and nasty red berries dropping all over creation, all the time, staining everything in sight. Yes, they have pretty flowers once a year, but the rest of the time, they're nothing but a pain in the ass. Having a Magnolia tree is like dating a really pretty girl who dresses up one night a year so your friends will say "wow, you're a lucky fellow", but the other 364 nights she sits on your couch in a bathrobe and hair curlers, smoking cigarettes, complaining in a loud voice and spilling cheap whiskey on the furniture. I've had my fill of both.
Have you been peeking in my windows? :eeek:
 
Messages
12,734
Location
Northern California
We used to live in a neighborhood where the houses were fairly close together. The witch next door used to put the bag chute on her mower without the bag and blow HER leaves into our yard. :argue:

Blow back twice as many twice as far on to her property and then wet nicely with garden hose. Good luck blowing leaves back my way.
:D
 

GHT

I'll Lock Up
Messages
9,685
Location
New Forest
What's with all the trees and leaves complaints? Just be sure that you don't move next door to me. Twelve silver birch trees, two oaks, four beech and an assortment of holly trees, rowans and mexican bushes. Also a huge fence of bamboo shrubbery.

Another way of upsetting the neighbours is to have four cats that use the neighbour's garden as their personal latrine.

And if that doesn't get to them, turn up the volume on the wurlitzer juke box, to the point where the sound and the vibration become indistinguishable.

That book, "How not to make friends and annoy folk," was written with me in mind.:evil:
 

LizzieMaine

Bartender
Messages
33,558
Location
Where The Tourists Meet The Sea
You suburbanites and your problems. I live next to a junkyard, and my neighbors are rats, skunks, racccoons, and people who get up at 6 AM on Sunday to cut up scrap metal. Leaves would be positively tranquilizing.

The advantage, though, is that I can throw my own scrap metal, broken glass, old wood, and miscellaneous crap over the back fence without a thought.
 
Last edited:
What's with all the trees and leaves complaints? Just be sure that you don't move next door to me. Twelve silver birch trees, two oaks, four beech and an assortment of holly trees, rowans and mexican bushes. Also a huge fence of bamboo shrubbery.

Another way of upsetting the neighbours is to have four cats that use the neighbour's garden as their personal latrine.

And if that doesn't get to them, turn up the volume on the wurlitzer juke box, to the point where the sound and the vibration become indistinguishable.

That book, "How not to make friends and annoy folk," was written with me in mind.:evil:

I have a Wurlitzer jukebox but I can't stand it that high myself. :p

You have enough fire wood there for me for winter. What a nice neighbor!:p
 
You suburbanites and your problems. I live next to a junkyard, and my neighbors are rats, skunks, racccoons, and people who get up at 6 AM on Sunday to cut up scrap metal. Leaves would be positively tranquilizing.

The advantage, though, is that I can throw my own scrap metal, broken glass, old wood, and miscellaneous crap over the back fence without a thought.


Not much difference. My neighbors are rats, skunks and raccoons too. They just looks like people. :p
Junkyards like that are going the way of the dodo all across the country. You are lucky you have that close to throw junk into.
 

GHT

I'll Lock Up
Messages
9,685
Location
New Forest
I have a Wurlitzer jukebox but I can't stand it that high myself. :p
You have enough fire wood there for me for winter. What a nice neighbor!:p
Nice neighbour? Yeah right! I have a wife who thinks, from the appearance of your avatar, that you look: "Dishy!" Whatever that means.
Having that head of hair at your age should be illegal. but as you are a juke box lover, and, own a Wurlitzer, all's forgiven.
My Wurlitzer is the famous: One More Time, domed top model. The one with the bubbles. The model is actually known as: 1015.
 
Nice neighbour? Yeah right! I have a wife who thinks, from the appearance of your avatar, that you look: "Dishy!" Whatever that means.
Having that head of hair at your age should be illegal. but as you are a juke box lover, and, own a Wurlitzer, all's forgiven.
My Wurlitzer is the famous: One More Time, domed top model. The one with the bubbles. The model is actually known as: 1015.

:rofl:

I actually have the Wurlitzer 1050. The dang things cost $10,000 in 1973. :faint: I got it for waaaayyyy less. :p


200.jpg
 
Messages
1,184
Location
NJ/phila
You suburbanites and your problems. I live next to a junkyard, and my neighbors are rats, skunks, racccoons, and people who get up at 6 AM on Sunday to cut up scrap metal. Leaves would be positively tranquilizing.

The advantage, though, is that I can throw my own scrap metal, broken glass, old wood, and miscellaneous crap over the back fence without a thought.
No recycling issues for you Lizzie, however you should consider getting cash for your scrap...
 

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