Weirdest Fortune Cookie Messages

[Marc Chevalier]

"Man who loses key to woman's apartment will get no new key."

That's not merely a prediction; that's wisdom! lol

.

 

[Doctor Strange]

"If everyone is jumping out the window, there must be a reason."

 

[dhermann1]

The day I got out of the US Marine Corps, July 7, 1969 (40 years, my God!) I went to a Chinese restaurant in San Francisco. I opened the fortune cookie with great anticipation. Inside it said: "The reason why men gather into society is the preservation of their property."
Uhhh . . . . thank you.

 

[DeaconKC]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NmXxrMC5Pv4

 

[Michaelshane]

I opened one that said..."you are working hard".

 

[Marc Chevalier]

I opened one that said..."you are working hard."

And were you?


.

 

[MPicciotto]

"If your cookie still in one piece, buy lotto"

Matt

 

[Chasseur]

No joke, I actually got this one:

"A man with a southern drawl will change your life."

 

[Michaelshane]

And were you?


.

I make jewelry....

 

[dostacos]

I love it. The one thing that will make your life wonderful is....

My favorite is the old "Help. I am being held captive in a fortune cookie factory!"

As far as the cookie goes, if you get them down in Chinatown in San Francisco, and get them really fresh, they are quite delicious.

I actually got one that said " help, I am a prisoner in a Chinese bakery" for real:eusa_clap

 

[KilroyCD]

I once got: "He who laughs at himself never runs out of things to laugh at."
They must have been holding that one for me...

 

[DeaconKC]

I went to a Chinese place yesterday. The cookie said You will be applauded for your performance." I told my wife and then told her about adding the "in bed" part. I wish she wouldn't have laughed so hard...............

 

[Elmonteman]

My favorite fortune said, "Those who justify do not convince."

 

[KeyGrip]

"Time to buy new shoes"

It was.

I did.

 

[Jerekson]

I've decided to unsubscribe from this thread - the whole "in bed" thing has successfully ruined every single post for me.

 

[SamMarlowPI]

^^^ lollollollol

 

[Brian Sheridan]

Comedian Garry Shandling used to have a joke that he once got a fortune cookie with a message inside that read "'I peed in your rice.' Those aren't supposed to be handwritten, are they," he'd ask incredulously.

 

[Tiller]

"Not now when its over then."[huh]

 

[Marc Chevalier]

Guerrilla editing:

I've decided to unsubscribe from this thread - the whole "in bed" thing has successfully ruined every single post for me ... in bed.

 

[Jerekson]

Oh, you weasel.