Weirdest Fortune Cookie Messages

[Marc Chevalier]

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Somebody I know got the coolest one ever. It had a typographical error, and said: "You will soon win the admiration of your pears."


Have you ever come across any bizarre or ridiculous fortune cookie messages? And have you ever actually eaten the cookie itself?


.

 

[Lotta Little]

I have a friend who eats the cookie AND the fortune! (Or else it won't come true.) Weirdest one I ever got was something like "To find your purpose, you must live with." Yes? Hello? Need a new ink cartridge?

 

[reetpleat]

I love it. The one thing that will make your life wonderful is....

My favorite is the old "Help. I am being held captive in a fortune cookie factory!"

As far as the cookie goes, if you get them down in Chinatown in San Francisco, and get them really fresh, they are quite delicious.

 

[ClaraB]

"When the time comes, take the one on the left."

as far as I know the time has not come yet.

 

[Lady Day]

"You will be successful in everything you do."

Not even close.

LD

 

[StaceFace]

My mother and I got Chinese at HyVee one afternoon, and it wasn't the fortune that made me giggle, but it was the "Learn Chinese" part on the back. The word was "bus", you know, something short and sweet--no frills. But in Chinese it was "gong gong chi che".

 

[LizzieMaine]

My first professional writing job was writing copy for fortune cookies for a strange little company in California. One night I was stumped, and took the book of Proverbs, and began paraphrasing. People started getting cookies that said things like "Like vinegar to the teeth is the foolish man to those sending him forth." Wise words, no doubt, but startling as a follow up to the dim sum.

We also sold ad space in our cookies -- some of the finer businesses around Ventura, California took a chance on this proposition, so we'd have things like "Bright Picture In Your Future, at Joe Blow's TV and Appliance."

The memory dims, since this was almost 30 years ago, but I think I got paid $250 for something like 500 fortunes. And I suspect a lot of those cookies are still sitting in some warehouse somewhere.

 

[Carlisle Blues]

When I was a wee lad one of my mentors or I should say de-mentors told me, "Always add 'in bed' to every fortune cookie message". I have never been the same since. :eusa_doh: :eusa_doh:

 

[Brinybay]

"You will be successful in everything you do."

Not even close.

LD

Yeah, I remember one that said "Hopes fulfilled and a good marriage." 30 years later, I'm still waiting...

 

[Miss_Bella_Hell]

I got "You'd make a great lawyer."

 

[skyvue]

The strangest one I ever got I received long ago -- 15 years, at least -- and I still have it. It reads, and I quote:

"Confucius say: Think about Charlton Heston today."

The mind boggles.

 

[StaceFace]

And I suspect a lot of those cookies are still sitting in some warehouse somewhere.

This makes me think of the Twinkie thread At least you have something worthy to put on a resume!

Carlisle Blues - I almost wrote that, but decided against it. Maybe I was too busy thinking about Charlton Heston lol

 

[Barbigirl]

Two different ones

Once I got a fortune cookie that said, "You are deeply loved."

The next time I went to the same restaurant, with the same person, and I got a fortune cookie that said, "You will be married within a year."

Different person to eat chinese with now, but the first one holds true.

 

[SamMarlowPI]

i've never had a strange fortune but my father got no fortune twice in a row at the local chinese restaurant...he did get an extra cookie...

and one about a dog...

actually i did get the james dean "dream as if you'll live forever" quote...i kept it...

 

[Lady Day]

"Confucius say: Think about Charlton Heston today."

Dude, that totally blew my mind.

LD

 

[SamMarlowPI]

"Confucius say: Think about Charlton Heston today."

yah, add "in bed" to that one...

 

[reetpleat]

I once took a four month trip to Viet nam, Laos and Thailand. When I got back, within a week or so, i went to an asian restaurant. The fortune read "You will take a trip across the sea." Too little too late.

 

[StaceFace]

yah, add "in bed" to that one...

touché :eusa_clap lol

 

[HarpPlayerGene]

"Man who loses key to woman's apartment will get no new key."

 

[Mike in Seattle]

The most favorite one I saw somewhere - a poster I think - is "That wasn't chicken..."

There was a magazine article or something of the like five or six years ago with the recipe, and your choice of inserts for fortune cookies...or misfortune cookies. "The first outfit was a far better choice." "This time, they're NOT laughing WITH you." "Your complete lack of style is surpassed only by your total absence of manners." "That truly is not your color." "Your number will soon come up - with the IRS!" "Beware the dark, winged creature!" "Looks can be deceiving but you fool nobody."

I was going to do them for the Halloween party but had too much happening to have enough spare time, so a friend used them for her gypsy fortune teller routine.