Unwanted attentions?

[PrettySquareGal]

I was wondering if any of you ladies have ever had problems with online "fans" that take things too far? What I mean by that is harassing emails, unwanted advances even after being clear that you are not interested? If so, how have you dealt with them? I've had a few, although not anyone from here!

They sure do know how to ruin a gal's online fun.

 

[Amy Jeanne]

No online weirdos for me, only real life ones
Guys seem to think that I'm "goth" and therefore I must be "freaky" *ahem*

Totally ignoring the fact that I'm HAPPILY married!!!!

I was harrassed at my last place of employment and had to quit. All because he took a fancy to the "schoolmarm" look. I reported it, but was told by my FEMALE boss that I brought it onto myself and that I should go easy on him because "Italian men don't have a lot of respect for women" (what she ACTUALLY told me!!)

 

[LolitaHaze]

I have only had a few times when people will either try to get me to fight with them (call me a wannabe or ugly) or try to get me to talk dirty to them. I find the best way to get rid of them is to bore them to death. When they want me to fight, I just agree with everything they say and add a bit to it. When they want me to talk dirty online I just bore them until they go away. Sadly, I bore the ones I like as well. lol

 

[PrettySquareGal]

I have only had a few times when people will either try to get me to fight with them (call me a wannabe or ugly) or try to get me to talk dirty to them. I find the best way to get rid of them is to bore them to death. When they want me to fight, I just agree with everything they say and add a bit to it. When they want me to talk dirty online I just bore them until they go away. Sadly, I bore the ones I like as well. lol

This is great! I'll have to try it!

 

[r lush]

I was harrassed at my last place of employment and had to quit. All because he took a fancy to the "schoolmarm" look. I reported it, but was told by my FEMALE boss that I brought it onto myself and that I should go easy on him because "Italian men don't have a lot of respect for women" (what she ACTUALLY told me!!)

wow, that is horrible. I am so sorry you were told that, and by a woman! my only thought is that she must not have very much respect for herself to make excuses for some creep!

 

[PrettySquareGal]

No online weirdos for me, only real life ones
Guys seem to think that I'm "goth" and therefore I must be "freaky" *ahem*

Totally ignoring the fact that I'm HAPPILY married!!!!

I was harrassed at my last place of employment and had to quit. All because he took a fancy to the "schoolmarm" look. I reported it, but was told by my FEMALE boss that I brought it onto myself and that I should go easy on him because "Italian men don't have a lot of respect for women" (what she ACTUALLY told me!!)

Dreadful!

 

[Amy Jeanne]

wow, that is horrible. I am so sorry you were told that, and by a woman! my only thought is that she must not have very much respect for herself to make excuses for some creep!

My manager was always saying how "depressed" she was because she was overweight. She also REALLY HATED this other girl who worked there who held a beauty pageant title. This woman almost LOVED to hate her.

The guy who harrassed me was well-liked by everyone in the office. I think they all had crushes on him. I was the only one who did NOT feel this way and maybe he saw it as a "challenge" (*yawn*) I'm almost certain my manager had a crush on him and was jealous that he was interested in me.

But it all worked out in the end. We talked to a lawyer and he told us we didn't have enough evidence. That was fine, though. My husband's employer was looking to get rid of their frequently absent receptionist/operator and I was hired on the spot. And I'm making more money, too

I've ALWAYS had guys hit on me at work. That whole "freaky" thing was always their motive. Now that I work with my husband it doesn't happen anymore

 

[TheKitschGoth]

I was wondering if any of you ladies have ever had problems with online "fans" that take things too far? What I mean by that is harassing emails, unwanted advances even after being clear that you are not interested? If so, how have you dealt with them? I've had a few, although not anyone from here!

They sure do know how to ruin a gal's online fun.

I've had a few, one was a bloke in his 40's when I was 16.. he was beyond creepy. I've found blocking them is the best thing. Whether it's blocking them on an instant messenger, most forums also have a block feature, and with email put them on your spam list.

In real life I'm less sure. There's a guy right now who runs a rock night that my friend Dj's at, and he's decided he likes me. He's a lot older than me, has a child already and another on the way, and is refusing to take no for an answer.

 

[Paisley]

This is why I don't have a myspace account and don't do online dating. I don't chat on unmoderated message boards. I don't even have a listed telephone number.

As for the "real world," a few years ago there was an older guy hitting on a lot of girls at a dance club I attend. When he hit on the DJ's 16-year-old sister, the DJ threw him out. The owner had a few talks with him and eventually banned him from the club. She didn't want him running off the clientele.

 

[LizzieMaine]

I was cyberstalked about eight years ago by a guy who'd gotten upset at something I'd written in an Old Time Radio group where I was then very active, and was getting all sorts of really vile emails from him, via a bunch of fake addresses. I eventually tracked him down and got him put off his ISP, but I later found out he'd been doing the same thing to a lot of other women on a lot of other boards.

There are some very disturbed people out there. Keep your eyes open and don't be afraid to go to the authorities when necessary.

 

[Novella]

Back in high school I got e-mails and IMs from some unidentified person who said they liked me. They were creepy about it and wouldn't tell me who they were, but they asked me to e-mail them a picture of myself. Of course I said no way. One of my friends had an idea of who it might be. One day I just went up to the suspect (who I'd never talked to before, just had a class with) and asked him flat out if he'd been e-mailing me online. The guy said no. I couldn't read his face. But it was either that or the crazy e-mail I sent that caused my internet pesterer to stop. (I decided to weird him out by sending an e-mail explaining how I didn't believe in taking pictures because it steals your soul and kills you. I explained how taking pictures causes a person to combust and that their guts (most graphically described) would then be splattered all over a room.) I don't know if it was the confrontation or the completely bizarre bs e-mail letter I sent, but something worked! It is one of my craziest repelling boys stories, only beaten by the time I spit on a completely disgusting boy pestering me and some other girls. I'm good at repelling the attentions sent my way, unfortunately so much that I tend to reject by default! haha I'm working on being better about that.

 

[Fleur De Guerre]

I also had someone seriously turn on me and called me dreadful names after having been chatting with them online for about 6 months. I can't even remember why he turned on me, but it was horrible. Luckily I gave him a piece of my mind and I never heard from him again, he deleted his myspace account.

 

[RetroModelSari]

I get strange messages from guys that want to talk to me via messenger on myspace quiet regulary... And this eventhoug my profile clearly states "in a relationship". I just ignore them. It´s not worth it.

 

[PrettySquareGal]

I also had someone seriously turn on me and called me dreadful names after having been chatting with them online for about 6 months. I can't even remember why he turned on me, but it was horrible. Luckily I gave him a piece of my mind and I never heard from him again, he deleted his myspace account.

This is the worst- when someone seems stable at first, and then they slowly unravel!

 

[Fleur De Guerre]

Indeed, you really cannot tell what someone is like online, sometimes nice people turn out to be utter weirdos and people that come across as jerks can be nice in real life, just lacking in online etiquette!

 

[Miss_Bella_Hell]

I was wondering if any of you ladies have ever had problems with online "fans" that take things too far? What I mean by that is harassing emails, unwanted advances even after being clear that you are not interested? If so, how have you dealt with them? I've had a few, although not anyone from here!

They sure do know how to ruin a gal's online fun.

This probably doesn't have to be said, but how clear have you been? "I am not interested and you're bothering me, please go away" might get the job done.

 

[Paisley]

I once wrote somebody a note stating, "I'm not interested and I'm sure I never will be," blah blah blah, and he acted like nothing happened!

I told a friend that if someone wrote me a note like that, I'd feel like crawling under the table. She said, "If someone had to write you a note like that, you'd be like, 'What's this all about?[huh] " Some people can't take a hint.

 

[PrettySquareGal]

This probably doesn't have to be said, but how clear have you been? "I am not interested and you're bothering me, please go away" might get the job done.

Yes, this is what I meant by being clear. As in, "I don't wish to have contact with you."

 

[pigeon toe]

I've had a few people pester me on AIM (they got my screename from my myspace) asking me to sell my used stockings to them. The weird thing is, on my myspace I have no mention of stockings and no photos of me in them. However, I do have a photo of me that includes bare feet (my avatar!), and so that's probably what got them going.

I blocked them once I figured out what they wanted and took my screename off of myspace. Haven't had any problems since then.

 

[Nina]

i only had one abusive experience via myspace and that was right after i joined. be careful who you talk to on msn. but saying that, i met my bf of over a year via myspace and spoke to him on msn for ages before meeting him, but we did have a friend in common so figured he was probably ok.

despite having his presence all over my page i still get the odd proposition, which i either ignore or politely decline. but my gosh i loved some of those ways of getting rid of the weirdos. inventive!

in real life i find i'm usually too intimidating for people to even try it on with me, but i seem to attract girls easily, usually for friendship or complements, which is rare i hear among us catty females. i got heaps of complements and even men approaching me on my birthday though, which i attribute to a gorgeous little airhostess hat i have (talking point), and i was happily drunk.

i used my scary skills to effect once when a luckily short lived guy came to work where i work and took it upon himself to come on to the majority of females there. not only did he hit myself and the other 17/18 year old on the arse with a sack of something (clearly intentionally, one after the other and he was about 30-35) on his first day, he proceded to chase down the other young girl to her other work to talk to her, send her messages and ask her about drugs. he also sent messages to my very married manager to say how beautiful he thought she was. i made sure he kept his distance when he told me all about how the night before a much older guy (5 years older) had tried to come onto him and how creepy it was. i replied curtly saying "well i have to deal with much older men coming onto me all the time when it's not wanted" looking at him pointedly.