Today I am a "Ma'am"

[23SkidooWithYou]

Ma'am doesn't bother me. In fact, it's kinda nice.

The kicker for me is the moment you transition from "the girl" to "the lady". I was a retail manager until 2 yrs ago. When I was younger, customers would say, "Give it to the GIRL to ring up". In my early thirties, they changed that to, "Give it to the LADY to ring up". Umph! The first couple of times it happened it was like who in heck are they talking to because I'm not that old!

I think it bothered me because my self perception hadn't changed much but society was saying they viewed me differently. Fortunately, age brings wisdom, lol. So, I don't take offense because I know people are just being polite. Plus, I'm not really hung up on numbers so age doesn't bother me...but apparantly WAIST SIZE does! LMBO

Oh, and when parents tried to make me the heavy to control their children, they would say, "Bobby, behave or the girl/lady will yell at you." When I was a girl, I didn't dare say anything. When I got to be a lady, I looked right at the little kiddo and smiled and said, "No I won't." lol On that score alone, I kinda like being a LADY.

 

[C-dot]

I've been working in retail since I was 14. I started getting "the lady" at 16 - Come to think of it, it was around the time I was promoted to customer service at the grocery store I'd worked at for 2 years. That's probably the only time I wished I hadn't been promoted.

But that was prestige! I started to get Ma'am after going from punk rocker to vintage. Perhaps that's why... I wish it was a similar feeling. Although I much prefer my vintage look.

 

[23SkidooWithYou]

But that was prestige! I started to get Ma'am after going from punk rocker to vintage. Perhaps that's why... I wish it was a similar feeling. Although I much prefer my vintage look.

So, that's an interesting question!
Do you think people are more polite when you are dressed vintage? Maybe that's why you are getting "ma'am" instead of "hey you".

I know I strived to teach my employees not to qualify a customer by appearance. (A man with grimy fingernails is not a dead beat. He might just be a hard working plumber or mechanic, just off a job who suddenly remember his anniversary and needs a nice gift! ...but I digress) But, do you think it could be why people respond differently to the punk C-dot vs the vintage C-dot? Curious!

The irony is that the crux of punk and vintage subcultures are that you are still bucking the norms of today's accepted fashion trends. It's just funny that one "look" might be more easily accepted than the other because one is more readily accepted as "pretty" than perhaps the other. Although, expression of style is beautiful any way you look at it.

Oh, and absolutely nuthin but love for my punk people. I'm a former Goth Gal myself.

 

[Lauren]

23SkidooWithYou, your posts make me smile I guess I've got nothing really cool to add but wanted to say that.

 

[23SkidooWithYou]

23SkidooWithYou, your posts make me smile I guess I've got nothing really cool to add but wanted to say that.

Awww Lauren...that was really sweet to say.
I'm blushing!

 

[cynroux]

I am in my early 50s and still call older people maam and sir. I would not dream of doing it differently.
http://sandysfancypants.blogspot.com

I do the same. I was raised Southern and it's a sign of respect to me, not an indicator of age.
I love being called Ma'am.

 

[Snookie]

I didn't get my first "Ma'am" until after I was married, so I don't think it bothered me as much. I've almost corrected the bagboy when he calls me "Miss", but decided not to because
1) I don't mind being part of the "younger set", and
2) he'd have no clue what I meant.

Sometimes I'll get called Ma'am and Miss within 5 minutes of each other, that always makes me smile.

 

[Viola]

Generally I'm only called ma'am on the phone or by very Southern men. I love a Southern accent so I don't mind in the slightest. I've heard a couple accents I could listen to all day.

I've been called "deah" by a man from up in New England and that really confused me the first time as to whether it was polite or some sort of old man spin on baby, which I don't like from strangers. My mom had to set me straight from the seven years she lived in Maine. "They call EVERYONE dear! Men, women, young, old! You were alive and on the phone with him, that's all that means!" lol

 

[MissAmelina]

fftopic: When i was 17 the lady at a wal mart thought my 5 year old cousin was my kid.

Weeeelll.....that's kinda how it goes at WalMart.

I've been called ma'am ever since i started waiting tables at 21. And young kids who have any manners call me that. (I'm 36)

But the strangest thing is that every time I meet a woman who is even slightly older than me, (ie. at work, school, etc.) when they get to know me pretty well, they all start calling me "Miss Amy." It has happened throughout my entire life. And sometimes men do it too. Do other Amy's encounter this? Or Does anyone else get called, "Miss Linda" or "Miss Ellie" or the like? I don't notice them calling anyone else "Miss" anything. Just me. (?)
I thought it was kinda cool at first.....but now it's getting a little wierd. Even though I like it.

 

[pretty faythe]

First time I got ma'amed my oldest was still in diapers or there in. I'd say she was 2 or 3. I had her youngish, 2 months before imy 19th birthday, so I had to be about 21 or so. I got it from a high schooler who was doing volunteer work for an organization my mom used to work for and i'd do volunteer work, Christmas tree decorating etc (Chrisrmas function).
Maybe have a toddler in my arms made me look older? Although now people don't think I am as old as I am....I dunno. But getting ma'amed from someone just a couple years younger was not a nice feeling lol

 

[Lillemor]

Never! But it's a a few years ago since someone's padded me on my head. A real estate agent did it back in 2000 while showing us a house. Once while walking into a supermarket, some teens-early 20s who was selling candy and fireworks:eusa_doh: did the same. At McDonald's they once gave my husband a cup of coffee after they forgot our order and me an icecream. Those are just the most memorable times.

I don't know if I look much older than I did 5+ years ago or if it's simply because I don't venture out much any more? Well, recently a man at the door did ask for my parents.....I was indeed in vintage (very unusually, since I mostly dress retro inspired) so I wasn't dressed childdishly. I was looking very much the homemaker, or maybe I just thought so.

Everyone addressed me as Miss *first name* or *last name* in high school. Even my peers. This was during the grunge years and I mainly wore heels instead of Birkenstocks, I did wear overall shorts, t-shirts, white sneakers, and my socks and t-shirts always matchedlol I often times wore petite ladies style office dresses and retro 50s stuff as well. Most of my peers also thought I had a *high class accent*. Whatever that means...they also thought I had a slur and that my Danish accent was just an East Coast accent.lol

The teachers talked of girls and boys "and that young lady" and "that young lady shouldn't be put in an ESL class, she needs help with her self confidence and she can't help her accent, she's obviously from Philadelphia". I stayed poker faced and thankfully no one contested that teacher's claim so I avoided being put in an ESL class.fftopic:

 

[MoxieGrl]

12, for me. Which was also when I started working outside of my parents home. Customers regularly called me ma'am at the time ( I was traveling with the carnival, so this was a varied cross-section of America locations). At the time, people would frequently mistake me as my 5 year old cousin's mother too! I didn't much appreciate it at the time...

Now I'm approaching 30, and frequently get mistaken for a high school student! We have interns in the fall where I work and people frequently think I must be an intern (I work in a museum's collection in the back, so people don't frequently see me). I guess I just can't win... (they do still call me Ma'am though)

 

[zombi]

The only time I ever get ma'am is from elderly patients. Typically it's because I'm giving instructions and they are "yes ma'am"-ing me to let me know they understand. [huh]

 

[LizzieMaine]

I've been called "deah" by a man from up in New England and that really confused me the first time as to whether it was polite or some sort of old man spin on baby, which I don't like from strangers. My mom had to set me straight from the seven years she lived in Maine. "They call EVERYONE dear! Men, women, young, old! You were alive and on the phone with him, that's all that means!" lol

Ayuh, yessah. Even the tollbooth attendants call one "deeah"

 

[C-dot]

Wow, this is turning into a great discussion!

Do you think people are more polite when you are dressed vintage? Maybe that's why you are getting "ma'am" instead of "hey you".

I think so! Vintage hearkens back to an era people associate with glamour, manners, lady-likeness and such. Punk and "scene" kids are automatically associated with delinquency. (Funny, in my punk days, once people started speaking to me, they'd realize I wasn't a high school dropout, didn't have a criminal record, or carry a switchblade in my pocket. lol)

The teachers talked of girls and boys "and that young lady" and "that young lady shouldn't be put in an ESL class, she needs help with her self confidence and she can't help her accent, she's obviously from Philadelphia".

That is really funny. I don't think Philadelphians sound one bit like the Dutch!
I understand the whole head patting thing. I think you mentioned your height in the petite thread. I wear heels, so no one guesses I'm 5'3. If people ever see me, or ask me to, take off my heels, the immediate reaction is "AWH! You're so SMALL!" And small people need to be patted on the head, apparently!

Now I'm approaching 30, and frequently get mistaken for a high school student!

When I'm wearing makeup, people usually guess my age correctly or 2-3 years older. When I'm not, though, it's 12-14 :eusa_doh:
It's better than supposing you're much older!

 

[Lillemor]

That is really funny. I don't think Philadelphians sound one bit like the Dutch!
I understand the whole head patting thing. I think you mentioned your height in the petite thread. I wear heels, so no one guesses I'm 5'3. If people ever see me, or ask me to, take off my heels, the immediate reaction is "AWH! You're so SMALL!"

I should prioritize heels then but on the other hand; I don't know if increasing my height to fx. 5'1"ft is going to make me appear anything other than petite.

The Dutch tend to have good language skills and I think they're less likely to have a very clear foreign accent than us Danes but that's just my experience. I can't (and never wanted to) lose my Danish accent. I can't pronounce English rolling "r's", "th", and "w". I've only heard the Philly accents of Frankie Avalon, Bobby Rydell/Ridarelli, and some people interviewed on the history of American Bandstand and I can with some certainty say I sound nothing like them. I chose to stay poker faced to avoid being placed in an ESL class so that's why I didn't enquirer into why she thought I sounded Philly. It was also cutting into my lunch break time.

And small people need to be patted on the head, apparently!

lol Would wearing hats cure people of that?

I don't live in the U.S. I don't know if people would call me ma'am now.

When I'm wearing makeup, people usually guess my age correctly or 2-3 years older. When I'm not, though, it's 12-14
It's better than supposing you're much older!

Whenever I see makeovers where they wear more make-up in the after shots, I think they've often been made a disfavor by looking older than they did without or with less make-up. Aside from the obvious reasons like make-up getting trapped in creases, this may also be why older women are adviced to apply matte make-up and with a light hand?

 

[lexismonkey]

The last time I got called "ma'am" I got violently angry.

I was shopping at a little kid store (gift for my nephew) and I was trying to figure out the difference between a 5 and a 5t. Some obnoxious sales woman about 45 asks me "Can I help you Ma'am" - in such a snotty condescending way that I dropped what I was going to buy and walked out of the store.

It was more her attitude and tone than anything else.

She was having a bad day maybe?

I was hypersensitive maybe?

I don't really know, but I absolutely HATE being called ma'am. That is for married women with kids. I am a "Miss" until further notice.

 

[Lone_Ranger]

This reminds me of the infamous, "Call me Senator," Boxer incident.

Where she dressed down an Army General, for calling her Ma'am. Not being familiar with the military, she didn't realize, that is how you address a superior, and she took offense.

Can't comment further here, for fear of it descending into a political commentary. Google it, if you want to see it. It's on Youtube. I would also recommend, Sonja Schmidt's commentary, on PJTV.

 

[cecil]

I've been called ma'am but I can't remember when it was. It's very rare. I'm in Australia though, I don't think it's as common here in general. Can any other Aussies confirm or deny? I don't think we really call each other anything? When I call my phone company they call me "Miss (surname)", but that's about it.

 

[Caity Lynn]

I was called "Lady" today lol

at work the guy was like "I'm talking to the lady behind the counter, both ladies actually"


my co-worker is almost 50