Thirtysomething woes

[zaika]

Hey gang...I just turned thirty.

Well...like, on the 22nd.

I was excited at first, but now it's beginning to dawn on me that I'm only going to get older. And I'm not the person I want to be...I'm not doing the things I want to do...(although these are changing!)

Anyone else have experience turning thirty and it being a good thing? I would love to hear some stories. Please.

 

[Pilotguy299]

30 was great

...

Anyone else have experience turning thirty and it being a good thing? I would love to hear some stories. Please.

Ah, turning 30 was great! Had been married to a great gal for 3 years, had a 2 year old child, was living in a very small apartment in Brooklyn Heights, NY, worked a lot and didn't seem to have a lot of extra $. But we always seemed to have a lot of free time for each other. Always walking here or there, going to museums, the park, the zoo, or just walking along the promenade. Was I where I really wanted to be and doing exactly what I wanted to do? No, but I was living in the moment and enjoying every minute of it being with my family.

17,000 years later I'm better off work, location and $ wise, and we have 2 more kids, but it seems like we don't have the time for each other that we used to and things aren't as much "alive". Some of it is because of my horrible 50 mile one way commute into DC every day and the amount of time I spend on the road and at work. But some of it seems to be spent on worrying more about tomorrow than we used to.

Kids going to college soon, can we afford that? do we have enough saved for retirement? Is where we live going to remain a good place to live and will we be able to afford the taxes? Will we remain healthy long enough to be able to enjoy grandchildren? Why can't our neighbor just cut our grass too when he's already outside mowing his own lawn? lol

But with all of those questions, I've realized that although late 40s haven't been as great as the early 30s were, it's really just my own fault for getting sucked into the worrying about later game, instead of just living for the now.

Life is a series of fleeting moments. Don't miss one moment waiting for what you think might be a better one.

 

[LizzieMaine]

I remember feeling rather let down when I turned thirty -- I had expected it to be this big emotional threshhold, and yet there wasn't one. And in a sense, that was good -- it taught me that life really isn't inextricably tied to the calendar. Being thirty isn't a whole lot different from being twenty-nine or thirty-one -- it's just a year, and we put a lot more cultural baggage onto it than we ought to.

Thirty is young. You're barely a decade into adulthood, and there's still a long ways to go.

 

[Amy Jeanne]

I'm glad I'm in my 30s. I'm more awesome now than I was at 19. When I was younger I was always so self-conscience (sp?) of stupid things (incidentally, I've recently been reading old diaries from when I was 19/20/21 -- lol.)

Now I just don't care. I feel I "get" it now. For once in my life I *do* feel like I'm the person I want to be and I'm doing what I've always wanted to do! I always hated being younger. I couldn't wait to be older and I look forward to even more.

 

[Doctor Strange]

Being 30 was a piece of cake - I look back on it now as a simpler, happier time. I was in love, soon to be married, had finally found a career that was working out, still managed to spend lots of time with my friends and pursuing my own passions, and had tons of energy and stamina.

Being in my 50s is vastly harder and more demoralizing. I've been divorced for over six years, not having managed anything like a decent relationship in that time, and currently with no prospects. My two kids are teens and our old relationship is morphing into something more tricky. It's a constant battle with the ex over money and time issues. My son's off to college later this year, which will be tough to deal with, and undoubtedly a major battle/struggle to work out the finances for. My parents, who have been on a long slow decline, have both become vastly worse both physically and (far more scary and difficult) mentally in the last six months, yet insist that they can still take care of themselves, even though they can't remember or process anything - it takes endless phone calls and visits on a daily basis to keep them going, with them refusing to understand what a burden they are becoming, and continually protesting that they don't need live-in help yet. My job still manages to pay the bills, but it's completely boring, unsatisfying, and unfulfilling... Trapped between the needs of my kids and my parents, and minus the gonzo strength and enthusiasm that got me through earlier years, I find this stage of life to be exhausting and depressing...

Honestly, being 30 was so much easier and more pleasant! Don't fear your thirties, it's a great time...

 

[hepkitten]

Turning 30 was what started me writing. I'd been saying for years that I could write a book if only I had the time. I caught myself saying it again just after my 30th birthday, and for some reason I had a horrible vision of me still saying it for the next 30 years, and by then even I would be sick of hearing it. So I figured it was time to put up or shut up. That decision eventually led quitting the job I hated, finding work I loved, and pretty much upending my life. I couldn't have predicted all the twists and turns that've happened since then...and I'm glad.

My mom once told me that she was in her sixties before she really understood that the life we're living, right now, isn't a rehearsal for the real thing. It is the real thing. She said she would have done a lot of things differently if she'd understood that sooner.

Happy 30th! It is just a year, as LizzieMaine says...but if it gets you thinking about where and who you really want to be, then kudos to you.

 

[Mustang]

Hey gang...I just turned thirty.

Well...like, on the 22nd.

I was excited at first, but now it's beginning to dawn on me that I'm only going to get older.

Your reaction was the opposite of mine, and I would suspect most everyones. Most people I know were horrified of turning 30, but once you're there, well...there's not much you can do about it. :eusa_doh:

I'm in my mid 30's, well to be exact, I'm exactly "Mid-30" , and I'm cool with it. You can either look at it from a "glass half full" or "glass half empty" stance. Besides, getting older sure beats the only other option! :cheers1:

I don't know who said it, but it's so true: "Youth is wasted on the young".

 

[$ally]

The 30s are amazing! Enjoy it! Many people shine their brightest in that decade. You still look good, you know what you want, your self control is at it's best, you are in the ideal pay bracket. Live it up.

 

[imoldfashioned]

Hey gang...I just turned thirty.

Well...like, on the 22nd.

I was excited at first, but now it's beginning to dawn on me that I'm only going to get older. And I'm not the person I want to be...I'm not doing the things I want to do...(although these are changing!)

Anyone else have experience turning thirty and it being a good thing? I would love to hear some stories. Please.

Happy (belated) birthday Zaika! You may well have a different experience, but here's my thoughts on embarking on your latest decade.

I was brought up short when I turned 30 and the first couple of years were difficult for me. I spent a good portion of my early 30s in grad school, which was an insane amount of pressure on many levels. Also, in my 20s I felt overwhelmed by everything I could do; 30 was the first time I felt really oppressed by the knowledge that I'd never do certain things, the first time I realized some doors were well and truly closed. I wasn't where I thought I'd be in nearly any part of my life but especially in my worklife and for the first time I really felt "behind" in that great schedule for my life that I didn't realize I was keeping in my head.

At the time this was all hard to deal with but, after awhile, the fact that I couldn't do some things allowed me to stop putting energy towards things that were fruitless and focus on figuring out what it was that I wanted to do and to start doing them. Not what I thought I was supposed to do but what I wanted to do--realizing the difference between those things was huge for me.

The good news is that every year of my 30s has been better than the last one; I'm much more confident now than I was in my 20s, I have people in my life that I've got history with which I've found to be really enriching but I'm still meeting new friends too. I've been lucky enough to find a little financial stability in the last couple of years which I certainly didn't have in my 20s, or even my early/mid 30s. I've joked with friends that being in my late 30s is like reliving the best aspects of being a teenager, only this time with money and no parents! I turn 40 in June and I'm really looking forward to that--I'm in far, far better shape on all levels of my life at 39 than I was at 29.

I do have one caveat for you, for your 30s and beyond. My grandmother used to tell me that time speeds up as you age and I scoffed but I've found it's really true. The last 5 years especially have evaporated. Take the time to be aware of who you're with, what you're feeling, what you're doing as you zip through this decade and those to come 'cause time really does have the potential to fly.

I hope this rambly message was helpful. The thesis statement here is that, in my experience, it gets better--much, much better, just hang on!

 

[panamag8or]

Happy birthday, but you won't get any sympathy from me, you youngster.

 

[KilroyCD]

Happy belated birthday to you, Zaika! Don't worry about entering your thirties.
I have to say that I did more in my thirties than at anytime prior to (or since). I travelled more, I developed more interesting pursuits, over all it was almost as if life began at 30. In other words, it can be a time to enjoy!

 

[surely]

Turning 30? hmmmm, can't seem to remember that far back. About to turn 70, yeah, and life is still unfolding. Keep working on yourself & keep searching, that's what I've been doing. I'm still learning & having fun.

 

[ITG]

When I turned 30, seems I got more aches and pains and keeping weight off has been harder. But I'm enjoying my 30s I suppose but my mindset is more like late 20s. Getting married (at age 30) has really forced me to grow up a bit more since it's not just me anymore and I wouldn't trade that for the world. I'm happier than I've been in years...have a job I love, a wonderful guy, great dog, great family!

 

[Lady Day]

I'm glad I'm in my 30s. I'm more awesome now than I was at 19.

Exactly.

I turned 30 on 12/13, so I have 9 days on ya!

I freaked from going from teen to twenty, but twenty to thirty I was, "Eh, wheres the popcorn?" Not a big deal at all. Im a lateloomer, so twenty-five was my golden time. Everything from then on has been cake, or popcorn.

LD

 

[Barbigirl]

Zaika, happy belated birthday....30 was a hard birthday for me. I had a lot of internal review over life and what I wanted out of it. I realized I had been doing the same thing for the last 10 years and could be looking at another 40 or 50 of the same, and I just could not face that.

So 30 and 31 were years of huge change, I relocated to a new state and my marriage ended. Physically, I was in the best shape I had ever been in but emotionally I was a totally basketcase.

Seven years later, I am in a fabulous place in my career, have a great relationship with my kids. Good shape physically and trying to keep it up and doing very well emotionally and in my relationship.

Long advise short.....the best is yet to come! Be happy and enjoy it, even the restless times they make the good ones even better.

 

[pgoat]

+1 30 being the best time in your life physically speaking. You are at a great place, where your physical and emotional maturity are at their prime coincidental peaks. ENJOY IT!

The nice thing about getting older - if you allow life's lessons to sink in and learn from your mistakes (and successes), trust your inner voice and better judgement- decisions become more clear, if not always easier.

fwiw (I'm 43) things might get tougher physically down the road but if you take care of yourself NOW, and limit stress, etc. You will likely be fine for years to come. As others here have said , there's lots more years, lots more to experience down the road. Some bad/sad stuff, but much joy and fun as well....cest la vie, non?

Happy Birthday, and imho, it's just a freaking number....forget it and live life to the fullest!:

 

[MrNewportCustom]

I'm 44, and I've decided to live by the words of George Eliot; "It is never too late to be what you might have been" and a former employer; "Never limit yourself."

I spent too many years limiting myself and now I'm nowhere near where I was meant to be, a professional photographer. So, I've been saving and shopping around, and soon I'll have a digital SLR, strobe lights and a shooting table for small products.

Don't worry too much about the future, though. Do what you need to get where you want to be, but keep the worries under control, and you'll be happy. My mother, for example, will be 74 in a couple weeks. She'd always doone what she wanted, and now she's going stronger than ever. I plan to be taking pictures on my deathbed.


Lee

 

[Solid Citizen]

The FL YOUTH

30 is a great age :eusa_clap , enjoy it

Solid Citizen

 

[Miss Brill]

I loved getting out of my 20s. Things that had bothered me before didn't bother me all of a sudden (like dating younger men). I started to feel very confident, especially with dating. I started to feel like the person I'd wanted to be, that I didn't have to be shy, or pretend to be something I wasn't. I really liked it. Now, the 30s are like old hat. [huh]

 

[Miss 1929]

Let's see if I can remember that far back...

Happy belated birthday, Zaika!!!

I loved my 30s. I changed a lot - got out of a long-term destructive relationship, met and married my true love, became a professional in my chosen field, was physically my best/sexiest/prettiest, and best of all, developed a sense for other people's feelings, that I was too wrapped up in myself for in my 20s. My 40s haven't been so hot (health and wealth issues mostly) so I intend to be fabulously 50 in two years or so! We always have a second chance to love ourselves.

This can be your golden hour if you choose to make it so! Give yourself some time, and you will be surprised at the intensity of living that you can experience when you are ready for it.

Here's to you, I am raising my teacup!