The Wifely Duties

[AtomicEraTom]

I think it's harder for a lot of guys to move on than it is for women, too. I was with a gal last year at this time, she left me back in early December. We were happy together, planning a wedding, yadda, yadda, yadda. One day, she just decided she didn't want to be a couple anymore. I'm still doing my darndest to move on almost a year later and I heard back a few months back that she had already married someone else.

I'm backtracking a bit here, I just wanted to throw in my two cents on this. I don't think the "need-to-be-in-a-relationship-to-feel-complete" mindset is confined to the female side of the equation. It possibly even leans heavier on the Y-chromosome.

 

[Edward]

This is the problem when feminism becomes an *ideology* instead of a *philosophy.*

Mmn. Though tbh in my experience that happens far less often than the opponents of gender equality would like to have you believe. [huh]

I think it's harder for a lot of guys to move on than it is for women, too. I was with a gal last year at this time, she left me back in early December. We were happy together, planning a wedding, yadda, yadda, yadda. One day, she just decided she didn't want to be a couple anymore. I'm still doing my darndest to move on almost a year later and I heard back a few months back that she had already married someone else.

In my experience it's less about gender, more that callous and shallow people tend to be callous and shallow. I imagine they can move on much easier as, well, they were never that committed to the whole thing in the first place. At least, as I say, that's my own experience, and what I've observed happen to others. Commitmentphobia - so commonly considered a male trait - seems to me to be equally prevalent in both sexes of your human species.

 

[jamespowers]

Mmn. Though tbh in my experience that happens far less often than the opponents of gender equality would like to have you believe. [huh]

Ah but you are safe over there across the pond from the "We're fierce. We're Feminists and we're in your face crowd."
Feminism sounds a whole more serene there than it is here.

 

[AmateisGal]

Ah but you are safe over there across the pond from the "We're fierce. We're Feminists and we're in your face crowd."
Feminism sounds a whole more serene there than it is here.

And you're in California, so you have a double whammy.

 

[Edward]

Ah but you are safe over there across the pond from the "We're fierce. We're Feminists and we're in your face crowd."
Feminism sounds a whole more serene there than it is here.

It often seems to me we could do with a lot more of that over here.

 

[hellsbellslolly]

I can only speak of what I know. Each family works differently. I think its a shame that some people put little emphasis on the housewife role. I know of what you mean by keeping up with the Jone's mentality. I think this probably went on throughout every decade.
I went to a birthday party and I watched as each child walked in with presents so huge they could barely carry them themselves. It was rather cringey to see to be honest. Mother's telling me to excuse the fact that their child was wearing a leotard under her party clothes as they were heading off to trampolining afterwards (at her private gym club lol) its quite rediculous. Mummy's clad in Joules gillets and barging past with their Cath K totes...its quite amusing to see them all pull up in their Audi's and 4X4's.
We do things differently, I don't work day-time shifts because I want to be their to pickup my son from school. There is nothing more important than to sit with him in the kitchen and listen to how his day was and hear him read, make him a snack and start dinner for my family. I do work nights, because you can never have enough money car mot's, rogue water bill's etc etc. But I am out between 6pm and 12.00am and home before they awake. I do the school run's in the day and all the chores that come with being a housewife. In our current economic climate me not working isn't an option.

 

[LizzieMaine]

It often seems to me we could do with a lot more of that over here.

I think, unfortunately, we're a much more black-and-white polarized society here. If you aren't We, you are They, and anyone who departs from the strict, accepted orthodoxy of any ideological position gets spat on. As a culture, Americans have completely and utterly lost any ability to understand nuance, and this is as true in matters of feminism as it is in anything else.

 

[Miss sofia]

I thought it was just me here that was living in Cath Kidston tote land!!!

 

[jamespowers]

I think, unfortunately, we're a much more black-and-white polarized society here. If you aren't We, you are They, and anyone who departs from the strict, accepted orthodoxy of any ideological position gets spat on. As a culture, Americans have completely and utterly lost any ability to understand nuance, and this is as true in matters of feminism as it is in anything else.

Exactly.

 

[jamespowers]

And you're in California, so you have a double whammy.

Tell me about it. The land where you hold open a door for a woman and she cusses you out for it.:eusa_doh:

 

[hellsbellslolly]

Miss Sofia admittedly I do have my very own Cath K tote - but to be fair I showed up with my first and then every one else started using one! Ha ha, I don't go round brandishing mine like its some kind of Gucci bag though...good ole wipe clean, hold every-thing including the kitchen sink kind of bag... plus its foral...lol

 

[hellsbellslolly]

Some feel that when people jam pack their kids weeks by day to day activities...this isn't the same as letting your child find a hobbie/interest that they feel they want to develop...its just occupying them for you...
I think too much can be bought for ease these days...when good old fashioned time and care doesn't even get taken into account...

 

[jamespowers]

Some feel that when people jam pack their kids weeks by day to day activities...this isn't the same as letting your child find a hobby/interest that they feel they want to develop...its just occupying them for you...
I think too much can be bought for ease these days...when good old fashioned time and care doesn't even get taken into account...

Exactly!:eusa_clap:eusa_clap:eusa_clap:eusa_clap:eusa_clap
They will lead you to what they like and it will take off for them and you don't have to push them into anything. Expose the children to a few different possibilities. They will do the rest.

 

[C-dot]

I'm still doing my darndest to move on almost a year later and I heard back a few months back that she had already married someone else.

She won't be happy, Tom - She will come to regret the impulsive decision she made, becoming miserable and frustrated. Soon she will start blaming the poor guy she married for everything she missed. Be thankful you aren't him - You don't want to be with an impetuous, emotionally immature woman who uses you for a punching bag.

 

[hellsbellslolly]

My sentiments exactly, if you allow them to have the opportunity they will decide what they like or dislike...its just about opening up their horizons and they will choose their way...

 

[jamespowers]

My sentiments exactly, if you allow them to have the opportunity they will decide what they like or dislike...its just about opening up their horizons and they will choose their way...

My mother always used to say that she thought she would never find anything that interested me when I was young.:rofl: Now I have so many interests that a lifetime would do little justice to any one of them.

I find that children are your parent's way of getting back at you. :rofl: You become them and they laugh at you being them. lol

 

[LoveMyHats2]

And you're in California, so you have a double whammy.

Some California gals have some real long fangs!

 

[hellsbellslolly]

There is so much you learn when becoming a parent your-self, gosh grandparents can grow smug even just a little too! Because they know what you're in for...ha ha

 

[jamespowers]

There is so much you learn when becoming a parent your-self, gosh grandparents can grow smug even just a little too! Because they know what you're in for...ha ha

It is not so much that but the "sucker" look you get.

 

[Miss sofia]

Some feel that when people jam pack their kids weeks by day to day activities...this isn't the same as letting your child find a hobbie/interest that they feel they want to develop...its just occupying them for you...
I think too much can be bought for ease these days...when good old fashioned time and care doesn't even get taken into account...

I can own up to having one too! Like you, it's easy clean and perfect for all my mum junk! (Plus i love me a vintage cowboy print)! As you said, it's seems to be a yummy mummy status symbol along with the Uggs and the gilet. I don't subscribe to any of that old nonsense!

My mum always says kids just want your time, nothing else. I agree. As has been said, parents use activities as status symbols and really just to babysit the kids for them.

My son goes to Scouts, plays guitar and does Rugby on Sunday morning, i have not co-erced him into attending any of these. I think that is ample enough extra-curricular wise for a kid of his age. All of these activities he decided he wanted to do off his own back.

I don't think schools help much either. We are constantly getting letters for school trips to see pop bands, exorbitantly priced school holidays etc. I'm all for educational day trips and perhaps the odd foreign exchange when they are older etc, but my son only started secondary school last year and started bringing home these letters. Luckily he is a good lad and understands he can't attend many of them. What about families with more than the 2.2 kids or parents on the breadline? It makes it all very elitist, as well as making my blood boil.