The Wifely Duties

[mysterygal]

I feel almost bad that I laughed at that post! that's one thing I love about Spring...the sun is out and the kids can run all they want all day..fresh air is the best way to get those little tikes tired...I remember seeing mom's walking around with thier kids on a leash and thinking what an awful thing to do to a kid, now, after having a couple of my own. lo and behold I got myself one too

 

[scotrace]

Somehow I don't think that young couples who want children ever fantasize about projectile bowel movements, stepping on Barbie high heels at 3AM, being thrown up on (or at, or over), short people who rudely turn down steak and go get a bowl of Cocoa-Puffs, nose picking, skid marks, plastic toys the size of your first car all over the yard, Sharpy marker on your best dress, or rooms that are like traversing an impromptu Civil War hospital.

Ah... but those little oatmeal kisses. In a blink, they're gone.

 

[Nathan Flowers]

Not only do we multi-specialists have to do all these things, but we do them while being a full-time care-giver for people who do unreasonable and unexpected things - like run out in the front yard with no clothing, or scream at the top of their lungs in the store when they can't have the toy of their choice, etc. I have read some things about full-time caregivers for adults, about how they burn out. But do people acknowledge moms who are burned out, and is that even allowed? The cooking, cleaning, transportation, purchasing, doctoring, etc. is all the easy stuff! Reasoning with a three-year-old...that's another story.
Sincerely,
Mrs. MK

That is very very true. I have never thought about comparing it to a caretaker for an adult, but that is a fantastic comparison. We're seeing the completely irrational behavior in our 23 month old right now. Stuff like trying to stand on top of her rocking chair, trying to pull the cats' tails off, and throwing herself down on the floor crying because she can only have a small piece of cheese and not the whole block... these are just a small sample of what Mrs. Zohar has to deal with all day long.

 

[mysterygal]

Somehow I don't think that young couples who want children ever fantasize about projectile bowel movements, stepping on Barbie high heels at 3AM, being thrown up on (or at, or over), short people who rudely turn down steak and go get a bowl of Cocoa-Puffs, nose picking, skid marks, plastic toys the size of your first car all over the yard, Sharpy marker on your best dress, or rooms that are like traversing an impromptu Civil War hospital.

Ah... but those little oatmeal kisses. In a blink, they're gone.

that's why I think babysitting when your younger is a good idea. I was totally ignorant of what was involved with babies....my picture was a cute cuddly thing that slept all night and smiles and looked cute....my girl was cute and cuddly but also had colic for her first year and had a horrible time teething...bad wake up call!

 

[John in Covina]

Crying

A friend of mine said her son cried, all the time. She took him to the doctor and they said physically he's fine. So they said he's just very sensative emotionally and needed a lot of hands on, and holding to feel safe and secure.

She describe the tearful times as 3 states of Tony:
Crying!
Just finished crying!
Getting ready to cry!

In between crying, he ate and slept.

When he just about hit 3 he stopped crying and moved on to more playing and learning and having fun.

 

[mysterygal]

lol that sounds exactly how my first child was! Three has seemed to be the magical number when you finally get your little angel back..I feel sooo sorry for any parent that has to go through that!

 

[jamespowers]

Not only do we multi-specialists have to do all these things, but we do them while being a full-time care-giver for people who do unreasonable and unexpected things - like run out in the front yard with no clothing, or scream at the top of their lungs in the store when they can't have the toy of their choice, etc. I have read some things about full-time caregivers for adults, about how they burn out. But do people acknowledge moms who are burned out, and is that even allowed? The cooking, cleaning, transportation, purchasing, doctoring, etc. is all the easy stuff! Reasoning with a three-year-old...that's another story.
Sincerely,
Mrs. MK

That is probably the best way to describe what a stay at home mother really has to put up with. The physical is easy next to the mental anguish it can sometimes cause. At least when you work with adults there is some semblance of logic to their actions.

Regards,

J

 

[jamespowers]

lol that sounds exactly how my first child was! Three has seemed to be the magical number when you finally get your little angel back..I feel sooo sorry for any parent that has to go through that!

Then ten years later they revert back to the same thing.

Regards,

J

 

[mysterygal]

lol that's what I'm kind of afraid of...especially since I've got three girls to raise....the pms years are going to be scary Even though it is a hard job, I am so thankful for this opportunity, there's nothing better than spending time with your kids, watching them have a great time, being there when they catch that first ball, you never get another chance for that moment. Being a parent is a huge responsibility, just not for the mother, the father plays a vital role in the family dynamic, if he's the one who works he teaches the kids good work ethics, and their role model for what a man should be.

 

[ArrowCollarMan]

Yup. Proper human devlopment require a mother and father figure. They always say a boys first love is his mother (also, a girls frist love is her father). Just by a paretns actions a child learns how to deal with people once they get into the real world. I find it strange that a parent unwittingly passes things onto their children.

 

[Nora Charles]

Somehow I don't think that young couples who want children ever fantasize about projectile bowel movements, stepping on Barbie high heels at 3AM, being thrown up on (or at, or over), short people who rudely turn down steak and go get a bowl of Cocoa-Puffs, nose picking, skid marks, plastic toys the size of your first car all over the yard, Sharpy marker on your best dress, or rooms that are like traversing an impromptu Civil War hospital.

Ah..yes, but it all seems worth it when they hug and kiss you and tell you they love you...

 

[jamespowers]

lol that's what I'm kind of afraid of...especially since I've got three girls to raise....the pms years are going to be scary Even though it is a hard job, I am so thankful for this opportunity, there's nothing better than spending time with your kids, watching them have a great time, being there when they catch that first ball, you never get another chance for that moment. Being a parent is a huge responsibility, just not for the mother, the father plays a vital role in the family dynamic, if he's the one who works he teaches the kids good work ethics, and their role model for what a man should be.

My mother used to say the same things you did about being there for the milestones in their lives. I would elaborate but some are embarassing. I mean me pilfering a flower from a garden for her on the way home from grade school was a big thing to her.
The father's role sure cannot be downplayed. His interactions with the mother set an example that stays with the child for a lifetime---especially the boys. I find myself using some of his lines to my mother on my wife. The father can set an example for the boys and how to treat the fair sex and the converse is also true.

Regards,

J

 

[Lincsong]

I'm so glad that so many couples are viewing the marriage as a "team" and "partnership". I've see so many golden agers where one so dominated the other that I just scratch my head and think; "if they're happy then so be it". I mean dominate as in the husband giving the wife the check and wife giving him an allowance of say $20 a week for spending money, not allowing the husband to purchase anything (food included) unless she was present. Or the husbands in my earlier post who refused to put the wife's name on the house or let her know where the bank account was located. (Although, I've met some husbands who also had no clue as to the size of the bank account.) I'm glad that when my grandfather died my grandmother continued on for 23 years and didn't need any help from anyone. And I mean ANYONE: Government, kids, grandkids or siblings.:eusa_clap She was quite the pistol.

 

[Angelicious]

Ha, this at-home-mum thing is funny, like an anthropology lecture on a culture I've never encountered before...

In my world, "stay-at-home mum" is something that, like domestic home help, happens to Women Who Marry Well. It can also happen to Women Who Budget Well And Don't Demand Much From Life, but those are a rare & admirable species...

Anyway:

However, studies have shown that children who were placed in daycare since infancy learn to talk and walk at a slower rate,

Funnily enough, that also happens to children who have a lot of older siblings (or even just one very assertive older sibling).

Just a thought...

 

[mysterygal]

lol pilfering flowers, that brings back memories...I did that a lot as a kid, my mom would always get that scolding look, knowing it was someone else's flowers, which later I learned just to say they were from some field I happened to walk by...but she's always put them in a vase and admire them until they wilted.
I can't imagine going into parenting without it being a partnership. There's a support there that's invaluable. There is so much that either parent can instill into a child..and seeing mom and dad happy shows what a marriage should look like.
My husband is definetely not rich, makes decent money, but me staying at home was something we decided on early on in marriage...both of us had stay at home mom's and felt we wanted the same for our children.

 

[jamespowers]

she'd always put them in a vase and admire them until they wilted.
I can't imagine going into parenting without it being a partnership. There's a support there that's invaluable. There is so much that either parent can instill into a child..and seeing mom and dad happy shows what a marriage should look like.
My husband is definitely not rich, makes decent money, but me staying at home was something we decided on early on in marriage...both of us had stay at home mom's and felt we wanted the same for our children.

Ditto to that. Makes sense to me.

Regards,

J

 

[Roger]

But what constitutes "happiness"?

 

[RedPop4]

Nora Charles.....VERY well said and quoted.

 

[mysterygal]

happiness, to me, is having peace and joy no matter what's going on

 

[jamespowers]

From Wikipedia:

"Happiness is a prolonged or lasting emotional or affective state that feels good or pleasing. Overlapping states or experiences associated with happiness include wellbeing, joy, sexual pleasure, delight, health, safety and love, while contrasting ones include suffering, sadness, grief, and pain.

Western Society
In western society, especially in North America, happiness is defined through the achievement of several ideals. These ideals can include a successful, healthy, beautiful family; creating great monetary wealth for oneself; being physically beautiful even through old age; and maintaining one's intelligence and wit. As well, happiness is sometimes defined as always being current according to the latest cultural fads. People who are not updated are seen as unhappy because they are old or out of date, or because they do not have benefit of the fad. Cultural fads can include keeping one's clothes in fashion, going to the latest clubs, restaurants or bars, buying consumer products seen as trendy or cool, or changing a hair style so that it is current. However, some people disagree with these preceding ideals because they consider them too superficial, consumerist and unsatisfying. Such people prefer a life that is personally defined, fulfilled, natural, peaceful, or that detracts in some way from these societal norms. For Americans living in the United States, the happy or ideal life is sometimes referred to as the American dream, which states that through hard work, dedication, and sacrifice, anyone can go from rags to riches. Writers such as Horatio Alger promoted this idea."

Sort of hits it on the head for me. :cheers1:

Regards,

J