The Strangest Thing

[Rosie]

Today, I am doing a 50's/60's thing. Red wiggle dress, black tights, black peep toe shoes, houndstooth swing coat, my hair is in a huge afro and I have red roses in my hair.

So, this morning I walk into my school (my office is located in a school), I go to get my mail and one of the secretaries says to me "You look lovely, as usual" I reply, "thank you". One of the other secretaries says, "You just come in here to make us feel bad about ourselves". I laugh, (more of a chuckle) because I figure this is her attempt at humor, right? Even though I don't find it funny, I want to be polite. She doesn't laugh and crosses her arms, obviously she isn't joking, so I reply, "excuse me?" (Truthfully, I am a bit shocked). She continues, "Everyday you come in here, dressed to the nines just to show off". My first instinct (and remember, I'm a girl from Brooklyn) was to tell her about herself and remind her that as a school secretary, representative of her school and her principal she SHOULD be wearing something a bit dressier than jogging pants and a t-shirt but, I managed a classier "well, I dress as I see fit as I'm sure you do" which I totally stole from a lady on this board.

This same secretary mentioned a ring I was wearing the other day (a 2 carat very real looking zirconia with a very high setting) and said "I could get something like that but I don't like big rings that snag".

So obviously, this woman as issues with herself that have nothing to do with me but, am I the only one that finds this strange and grossly inappropriate?

 

[Feraud]

Not so strange but very inappropriate.

 

[reetpleat]

Today, I am doing a 50's/60's thing. Red wiggle dress, black tights, black peep toe shoes, houndstooth swing coat, my hair is in a huge afro and I have red roses in my hair.

So, this morning I walk into my school (my office is located in a school), I go to get my mail and one of the secretaries says to me "You look lovely, as usual" I reply, "thank you". One of the other secretaries says, "You just come in here to make us feel bad about ourselves". I laugh, (more of a chuckle) because I figure this is her attempt at humor, right? Even though I don't find it funny, I want to be polite. She doesn't laugh and crosses her arms, obviously she isn't joking, so I reply, "excuse me?" (Truthfully, I am a bit shocked). She continues, "Everyday you come in here, dressed to the nines just to show off". My first instinct (and remember, I'm a girl from Brooklyn) was to tell her about herself and remind her that as a school secretary, representative of her school and her principal she SHOULD be wearing something a bit dressier than jogging pants and a t-shirt but, I managed a classier "well, I dress as I see fit as I'm sure you do" which I totally stole from a lady on this board.

This same secretary mentioned a ring I was wearing the other day (a 2 carat very real looking zirconia with a very high setting) and said "I could get something like that but I don't like big rings that snag".

So obviously, this woman as issues with herself that have nothing to do with me but, am I the only one that finds this strange and grossly inappropriate?

Obviously has issues. It may well be that she has no idea how little you probably spend on your clothes. SHe probalby just thinks you are buying designer clothes at thousands of dollars. Not that that changes anything. BUt she seems more upset about you seemingly flaunting your "wealth" than you actually looking nice.

Very odd.

 

[Ecuador Jim]

A closer look...

I suspect if you had looked at her eyes, they would have been green.....with envy. It was a totally inappropriate comment; seems to me she was trying to make you feel worse.

"They can't get your goat, if you don't tell 'em where it's tied up!"

Clearly, that's what you did. :eusa_clap

 

[Vintage Betty]

In my opinion, this is typical female behavior. I try to find out if they are interested in vintage, hairstyling, etc and offer to teach them (the person always responds no, so I'm safe)

However, there is another issue here. Is this person in a position to influence others or block access to the principal?

My father worked at a school, so I would hate for you to be part of these games.

VB

 

[scotrace]

Perfect

"well, I dress as I see fit as I'm sure you do"

This is the perfect response.

 

[Lady Day]

She now works at the school, but I guess she never outgrew that juvenile school mentality of "knock down someone you really want to compliment".

LD

 

[Miss Brill]

Maybe she just doesn't like you & takes it out on your clothes?

 

[MrNewportCustom]

She's jealous of you, Rosie. She sees the brilliant genius of the beauty you express through your mode of dress and knows she'll never look as good as you do, even though she probably could - outwardly, anyway - because she won't allow herself to: which is obviated by the way she dresses.

Try Vintage Betty's approach. If it doesn't work, then just quietly take her snide comments as unintended compliments.


Lee
______________________________

“Jealousy is the tribute mediocrity pays to genius.” - Fulton J. Sheen

 

[Mid-fogey]

The Russians...

...have an expression: "the tall nail gets hammered down." Sounds like a lazy person wants you to join her in her mediocrity.

Her blandness is her own punishment.

 

[Rosie]

Thanks for the wonderful compliments guys, you all sure know how to make a lady feel good about herself.

I thought about the not liking me thing but, I'm really sweet (honestly I am ) plus, I'm never around her, she doesn't know me to not like me.

She doesn't block my access to the principal but she is in the office outside of the principal's office so, I would have to see her when meeting with the principal. I can deal with seeing her though, no sweat off my shoulders.

 

[Josephine]

I thought about the not liking me thing but, I'm really sweet (honestly I am ) plus, I'm never around her, she doesn't know me to not like me.

She might not like the "idea" of you, if that makes sense. A woman who dresses well and is confident in herself.

 

[Smyat]

There is a rising trope, which I would bet is more prevalent in schools, that no one is better than anyone else. This provokes resentment when someone who clearly has a leg up on some definition of "better" comes along and makes someone who's chosen a lower road uncomfortable.

So you dress to the nines. If she only wants to dress to the six and a halfs, hard darts on her, babe.

 

[carter]

Rosie,

Have you considered the possibility that she really doesn't feel particularly good about herself?

In a left-handed way, she may be reaching out to you.Perhaps she does hold you in high regard but doesn't know how to approach you. Perhaps she needs a mentor.

There may be an opportunity to have a chat with this lady over coffee or lunch. A brief conversation in a somewhat private setting could be the start of something good.

 

[Rosie]

She might not like the "idea" of you, if that makes sense. A woman who dresses well and is confident in herself.

Understood.

I'm not sure if this woman needs a mentor. She needs a lesson or two in class: biting your tongue 101.

I was EXTRA nice to her today. Even though she ignored me. lol

 

[LucilleKing]

I come across this attitude often when I dress up. She's not only a bit intimidated by your beauty and class, but also with the confidence you exude through the way you have chosen to dress and carry yourself...like a lady.

Strangely enough, many times when I am out, I am surrounded by ladies who have spent a lot of time getting dressed in the morning, but they are all wearing next to nothing. However, I am the one who gets most of the male attention lol . You obviously looked great and didn't have to show a lot of skin:eusa_clap

 

[Brooksie]

It is sad that this woman is missing out on an opportunity to get to know the beautiful, intelligent and creative women that you are just because she does not like the way you dress, I would have to say this is her loss, right?

Brooksie

 

[Rosie]

Awww shucks Brooksie, go on. lol

 

[Gingerella72]

Ditto what everyone else has said.

I definitely see it as an insecurity/jealousy issue. Women who are very insecure about their bodies/looks are extremely intimidated by beautiful, polished women. I can say that because I've been there.

OTOH, she wears jogging pants and t-shirts to work??? Wow. I am a school secretary (university level, granted) and I'm not even allowed to wear jeans on Fridays.

 

[Kishtu]

You know I only just read this but it really struck a chord with me....

I'm the least-senior person in a meeting full of women, two guys. One of them is new. As soon as he walks in the room we have the "you look very nice today Kit!" to me. "yes especially now you've got this 40s look going on, I wish I could dress like you and didn't care what people said"

(This is in a brown plaid skirt and brown cashmere jumper, red lipstick, hair in rolls - not really way out territory.)

Next thing is another of the ladies turns round and says "yes but what I really liked were those boots of yours with the 7 inch heels, you know the ones that you couldn't walk in?"

Hmmm. Talk about inverted compliments! Ever get the feeling they were showing off to the new bloke...?