The Single & Ridiculously Good-Lookin' Room

[Rafter]

My last relationship was a combination of "Misery" & "Fatal Attraction"!!.

 

[Brooksie]

My last relationship was a combination of "Misery" & "Fatal Attraction"!!.

Awww you poor, poor thing!

LB

 

[Lincsong]

alright, all the good lookin' girls on the right side of the room. I'm taking a count.

 

[pretty faythe]

Geez, that sounds more like those first mixed parties we all attended when we wound up seperating ourselves. Girls on one side, boys on the other. Have we been that bad? sniff sniff

 

[thunderw21]

Geez, that sounds more like those first mixed parties we all attended when we wound up seperating ourselves. Girls on one side, boys on the other. Have we been that bad? sniff sniff

*Stands in a corner, scared to even look at the girl side of the room.*

 

[Lincsong]

Geez, that sounds more like those first mixed parties we all attended when we wound up seperating ourselves. Girls on one side, boys on the other. Have we been that bad? sniff sniff

Actually that is a line from Rush Hour 2.

 

[pretty faythe]

Actually that is a line from Rush Hour 2.

Darn it, need to work harder on being bad!

 

[Lincsong]

Darn it, need to work harder on being bad!

I'm steering clear of responding to this because it may get me banned.

 

[pretty faythe]

lol

 

[Samsa]

Since I am recently single I guess I can finally post here.

Yay?

 

[patterson]

Since I am recently single I guess I can finally post here.

Yay?

My lawyer told me this joke - maybe you will appreciate it? Why are divorces so expensive? Because they are worth it... :eusa_doh:

 

[Samsa]

My lawyer told me this joke - maybe you will appreciate it? Why are divorces so expensive? Because they are worth it... :eusa_doh:

Haha, well, thankfully I was not married - just girlfriended.

 

[Emmababy]

i am bored and i have no one to talk to, online or off.

 

[cgab1]

You're young and beautiful and you shouldn't be bored. There must be plenty of people in B'ham who want to talk to you. Leave the boredom to us old folks!

 

[Undertow]

I am single and ridiculously good-lookin'. And I tend to be a room, also.

Accepting applications for girlfriends, wives, and dance partners.

 

[pretty faythe]

 

[Miss Lucy June]

I am single and ridiculously good-lookin'. And I tend to be a room, also.

Accepting applications for girlfriends, wives, and dance partners.

haha, that last line made me giggle. I wonder what a Significant Other Appication would look like?

 

[Diamondback]

haha, that last line made me giggle. I wonder what a Significant Other Appication would look like?

Interesting question, Miss LJ.

Let's see, it'd need:
Vital stats (height, weight, measurements, income in the view of some people but not me)
References
Medical history
Skills and talents
Entertainment preferences

I'm easy, though, all you'd have to do is have no criminal record, have a tolerance for planes and guns, and pass the interview. But that's just me... lol

I'll edit the blanks for a possible application as I think of them.

 

[CharlieH.]

I wonder what a Significant Other Appication would look like?

Depends on who's giving the application-

APPLICATION FOR PERMISSION TO DATE MY DAUGHTER

NOTE: This application will be incomplete and rejected unless
accompanied by a complete financial statement, job history, lineage,
and current medical report from your doctor.

NAME_____________________________________ DATE OF BIRTH_____________

HEIGHT___________ WEIGHT____________ IQ__________ GPA_____________

SOCIAL SECURITY #_________________ DRIVERS LICENSE #________________

BOY SCOUT RANK AND BADGES____________________________________________

HOME ADDRESS_______________________ CITY/STATE___________ ZIP______

Do you have parents? ___Yes ___No
Is one male and the other female? ___Yes ___No
If No, explain:
______________________________________________________________

Number of years they have been married ______________________________

If less than your age, explain
______________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________


ACCESSORIES SECTION:

A. Do you own or have access to a van? __Yes __No

B. A truck with oversized tires? __Yes __No

C. A waterbed? __Yes __No

D. A pickup with a mattress in the back? __Yes __No

E. A tattoo? __Yes __No

F. Do you have an earring, nose ring, __Yes __No
pierced tongue, pierced cheek or a belly button ring?

(IF YOU ANSWERED "YES" TO ANY OF THE ABOVE, DISCONTINUE APPLICATION
AND LEAVE PREMISES IMMEDIATELY. I SUGGEST RUNNING.)


ESSAY SECTION:

In 50 words or less, what does "LATE" mean to you?

______________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________

In 50 words or less, what does "DON'T TOUCH MY DAUGHTER" mean to you?

______________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________

In 50 words or less, what does "ABSTINENCE" mean to you?

______________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________


REFERENCES SECTION:

Church you attend ___________________________________________________

How often you attend ________________________________________________

When would be the best time to interview your:

father? _____________

mother? _____________

pastor? _____________


SHORT-ANSWER SECTION:

Answer by filling in the blank. Please answer freely, all answers
are confidential.

A: If I were shot, the last place I would want shot would be:

______________________________________________________________

B: If I were beaten, the last bone I would want broken is my:

______________________________________________________________

C: A woman's place is in the:

______________________________________________________________

D: The one thing I hope this application does not ask me about is:

______________________________________________________________

E. What do you want to do IF you grow up? ___________________________

______________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________

F. When I meet a girl, the thing I always notice about her first is:

______________________________________________________________

F. What is the current going rate of a hotel room? __________________

I SWEAR THAT ALL INFORMATION SUPPLIED ABOVE IS TRUE AND CORRECT TO
THE BEST OF MY KNOWLEDGE UNDER PENALTY OF DEATH, DISMEMBERMENT,
NATIVE AMERICAN ANT TORTURE, CRUCIFIXION, ELECTROCUTION, CHINESE
WATER TORTURE, RED HOT POKERS, AND HILLARY CLINTON KISS TORTURE.


_________________________________________________________
Applicant's Signature (that means sign your name, moron!)


_______________________________ ________________________________
Mother's Signature Father's Signature

_______________________________ ________________________________
Pastor/Priest/Rabbi State Representative/Congressman

Thank you for your interest, and it had better be genuine and
non-sexual. Please allow four to six years for processing.

You will be contacted in writing if you are approved. Please do
not try to call or write (since you probably can't, and it would
cause you injury). If your application is rejected, you will be
notified by two gentleman wearing white ties carrying violin cases.
(you might watch your back)

 

[Miss Lucy June]

Depends on who's giving the application-

hahahahaha, I just read that to my dad, he says

"yep, that's about right"